Scream Queens (TV Series)

Seven Minutes in Hell (2015)

Glen Powell: Chad Radwell

Photos 

Quotes 

• [Chad prepares to break a window so Chanel can escape] 

  Chanel Oberlin : Save me and I'm yours forever!

  Chad Radwell : Uh... I'm not really sure I'm ready for that level of commitment.

  Chanel Oberlin : Chad, please? I'm trapped in the house with a killer! Break the glass!

  Chad Radwell : Not until you take back what you said.

  Chanel Oberlin : Fine, just save me, Chad!

  Chad Radwell : And?

  Chanel Oberlin : And I'm yours for an amount of time you feel is appropriate.

  Chad Radwell : Stand back, fair maiden. Chad's about to be a hero.

• Chad Radwell : I was waiting to talk to you about this cuz secretly I was hoping you'd be killed and I wouldn't have to hurt your feelings. I just don't think it would work out with us. You're nuts. And not like a typical crazy-ass coed, but wake-up-with-my-penis-in-a-jar lunatic. Now that puts me in a tough spot because that also means you'd also be the screw of my life. I mean, that kind of insanity means your muffin, it's Space Mountain loads of fun! I love Space Mountain, best ride at Disneyland. But I love my penis more.

• Chad Radwell : Look Chanel, before I come and save you and whatnot, I gotta get some things off my chest. A, I had sex with the dean.

  Chanel Oberlin : What?

  Chad Radwell : Look, I'm prepared to say I'm sorry I did that. What I'm not prepared to do is say the sex was bad because it was not. Oh also, I hooked up with the security guard, Denise.

  Chanel Oberlin : Officer Hemphill?

  Chad Radwell : Yeah, yeah. I'm not gonna apologize for that.

• Chad Radwell : Of course you're the killer. Your dad's Charles Manson, dude. If you're not the killer you should probably, you know, give it a shot. I think you'd be pretty good at it.

  Chanel #3 : Thanks.

• Chad Radwell : The killer took all the food out of all the cabinets and left us nothing but watermelon wine coolers in the fridge. He's trying to starve us to death!

  Hester Ulrich : There's never any food in there, just laxatives. Chanel's orders.

• Hester Ulrich : Chad, after our erotic bonding session in the cemetery and our coitus interruptus in the haunted house, I got the impression that you and I are on the verge of being the next it couple.

  Chad Radwell : Yeah... I just don't know what would make you think that.

  Hester Ulrich : You texted me saying we were on the verge of being the next it couple, Hester, love Chad.

  Chad Radwell : See, this is the problem with texting, you know. You can't hear the context.

• Chad Radwell : I am super-turned on from her and I need some sweet release. Is there any, like, Crisco or cooking oil here? Just like, dry handies bum me out.

• Chad Radwell : Brother Caufield, you just chugged four liters of canned pasta in 45 seconds! So if anybody ever tells you that just because you got your arms chopped off by a serial killer that somehow you're handicapped, you have them give me a call and I'm gonna tell them this story.

• Earl Grey : Look, mate, there's a nasty rumor going around saying you're having sex with... the dean.

  Chad Radwell : That is not a nasty rumor, that is a true rumor. I am totally porkin' Dean Munsch! The chick is smokin'!

  Earl Grey : There's also another rumor saying that you slept with one of the security guards.

  Chad Radwell : Denise Hemphill. Um, yeah! I mean, she is fun! I'm not kidding, I mean, that girl knows what she is doing!

• Chad Radwell : When you have sex with Chanel, there's just, like, so much, like... crying.

• Caulfield : Look, Chad, we've talked about this as a house and we all agree it's super weird that you sleep with so many old people.

  Chad Radwell : Hmmm. Uh, wow. You guys have really given me something to think about. While I've always believed one of the most fun parts of college life is sleeping with the faculty, I now realize that concentrating on porking popular girls, it's in all of our best interest.

• Chanel Oberlin : Chad, listen, you have to help us. We're trapped in the house and the power went out and my phone is the only one that's working because I'm pretty sure the killer knocked down a cell tower or something.

  Chad Radwell : Wait, why does yours work?

  Chanel Oberlin : Because mine's a satellite phone! Elon Musk gave it to me, it's designed for space travel. My dad is super-gross-rich, Chad!

  Chad Radwell : I know, that's my favorite thing about you, baby!

• Chanel Oberlin : Chad, I am about to get murdered, so can you please just hang up and get over here?

  Chad Radwell : Chad Radwell is on the way.

  Chanel Oberlin : I love you, Chad.

  [awkward silence] 

  Chanel Oberlin : Hello?

  Chad Radwell : I love you too, sorta.

• Roger : I thought you said Chanel had all the windows bomb-proofed so that we can't break them.

  Chad Radwell : Yeah, the downstairs windows, dude. Why would you bomb-proof upstairs windows? For like, a flying bomb?

  Caulfield : A flying bomb would be a missile, Chad.

  Chad Radwell : Honestly, where is the Red Devil gonna get a missile? Don't be an idiot!

• [the Red Devil killer knocks Caufield off a ladder] 

  Earl Grey : What do we do now?

  Chad Radwell : The only thing we can do: give him the dignity of watching him die.

• Zayday Williams : When it's your turn you have a choice of truth or dare. If you choose truth, you HAVE to tell the truth. And if you choose dare... I don't know, maybe you're hiding somethin'.

  Jennifer : But wouldn't you just lie? I mean, if I were the killer, I'd pick truth and then just lie.

  Chad Radwell : Uh well, the game's not Truth or Dare or Lie. It's just Truth or Dare. If you wanna lie, you can just pick dare.

  Jennifer : No, you'd pick truth and then you'd lie.

  Chad Radwell : Uh no, you can't lie. That's the whole point of Truth or Dare, you can't lie.

  Jennifer : But...

  Chad Radwell : I'm sorry, the game's pretty damn simple! Okay, it's TRUTH OR DARE! Alright, if you pick truth, you have to tell the truth! If you pick dare, it's gonna be really suspicious and I'm gonna think you had something to do with my sweet bro Boone dying, and my rad bro Caufield getting his arms... and then his head chopped off!

  Roger : And Dodger.

  Chad Radwell : Will you stop whining about Dodger? Everybody agrees that dude was holding you back! Nobody misses him! Now let's play some Truth or Dare and find out who the killer is!

• [to Chanel] 

  Chad Radwell : I love boning girls all over this great land. But really, at the end of the day I just kinda wanna bone one girl. Like that one special girl. I don't know, I just didn't think that girl was you because, obviously there's so much wrong with you. But then I think about the good things about you, like... like how gullible you are, how rich your dad is, and when I think about that girl - the really rich one who's easy to trick - I think she's pretty special too.

• [Sam has been suffocated with plastic] 

  Chad Radwell : Dude, she looks like pre-packaged meat from the supermarket.

  Zayday Williams : Chanel #3 is standing right here! Show some respect!

  Chanel #3 : We weren't dating.

• Chanel Oberlin : Okay, here's what we know. One, #5 is a psychopath who no one likes. Two, she went in the closet to play Seven Minutes in Heaven with her boyfriend and then he ends of up dead. Clearly Chanel #5 is the killer!

  Chad Radwell : But when the Dickie Dollars got attacked and Caufield got his arms chopped off, there were two devils. Dos diablos.

  Chanel Oberlin : Okay, fine, Hester is one of the killers and the other is Chanel #5!

• Chad Radwell : Chanel, if you get murdered in those tunnels, I promise I will never bang anyone harder than I banged you.

  Chanel Oberlin : Chad, I love you!

  Chad Radwell : You're so rich and hot!

• [a secret tunnel is found under the closet] 

  Chad Radwell : I'm not going down there. I do not dig on cobwebs and I am guessing there are loads of cobwebs down there!