- Schmidt invites his girlfriend over for Nick's famous sauce. Jess tries to figure out who CeCe likes and Winston tries to keep it a secret.
- While Schmitt is getting ready for a fondue date with Fawn, a spider freaks him out and everybody teams up to help hunt it down. Cece tries to keep a secret from Jess with the help of Winston. Nick plays Chef for the evening and is very particular on how "The Sauce" is prepared.—Daniel Gerrit David Rysdyk
- Schmidt's girlfriend, Councilwoman Fawn Moscato, is coming over for the first time and Nick is making the only thing he knows how -- the Sauce. Schmidt swears it's edible. Jess is starting to get worried because Cece is ignoring her.
Meanwhile, in his room, Winston talks on the phone to Cece, who admits she's hiding because she likes Schmidt. Winston tells her Jess is starting to get suspicious and Cece agrees to call her, but makes Winston promise to keep her Schmidt crush to himself. He agrees, but reminds Jess that he is not a smooth man.
In the common area, Jess brushes a spider off Schmidt's pants and he shrieks likes a small girl. "Why did you do that? You know how he gets: He turns into a cartoon elephant of yesteryear who just saw a mouse," Nick complains.
Schmidt announces it's time for a Spider Hunt and explains the origin of his fear: 1999, re-enacting a scene from "American Pie," waking up and finding the filling covered in spiders. He leaps on the table when he sees it again.
At the table, Coach tries to write an email to May, who he met weeks ago. He slips into his ladies' man smoove talk, which does not go well. (Nick adds a sustained squirt of mustard to the sauce.)
Cece finally calls Jess and can't think of a reason not to come over. Winston starts acting weird and Jess immediately notices, asking if Cece is mad at someone. Winston fumbles and says it's the opposite.
After Cece arrives, it's on to the Spider Hunt. Jess breaks everyone up into teams of a "Smoosher" and a "Jar man." Nick is stuck at the stove stirring. Winston tries to get a minute alone with Cece in the most obvious way possible.
Winston frets to Nick, who puts boloney in is Bolognese -- and also mayonnaise. Nick complains that Cece won't stop talking about getting a popcorn machine for the bar.
In Schmidt's room, Coach sits with his laptop and wonders if "The inside of you" is a good subject line. Schmidt offers: "I'm not sure why he did it, but I sure am glad that god rearranged the letters in the word 'yam' to make something even sweeter."
Then Schmidt sees the spider's web.
Jess corners Cece and gets her to admit she likes someone in the loft, but Cece won't say who because she knows Jess will meddle. She swears it's not Schmidt.
So Jess runs to Winston, saying "there are no secrets between Jar Man and Smoosher." Winston says it's him. They both keep a straight face for a minute, then laugh.
In the kitchen, Nick feeds Cece a bite of his sauce, which is terrible. Cece is wiping away tears when Jess sees them and worries Nick is who Cece likes. Winston is too scared to admit the truth, so he goes along with it.
In Jess' room, she tries to process the implications, including how hard it'll be on Schmidt. Jess wants to go talk to Cece. Winston struggles to come up with a reason she can't and settles on saying that Nick thinks Cece is ugly.
So Jess is off to confront Nick, saying that Cece is a lovely person with so much to offer. Nick asks if Cece has sent Jess to sell him on the idea. He's talking popcorn machine, Jess is talking Nick and Cece together.
Jess can't believe they've talked about it.
"All the time, but I thought that she and I had come to a decision. It's not happening, because I'm not interested. I know it's not cool to say, but I'm concerned with how it would look....One of my biggest concerns is the smell. It's not Cece's fault, they all smell, I've told her that," Nick says.
He goes on about the daily wear and tear and grease cooking in there. Jess says she'll remind Cece to clean it if she forgets, but Nick doesn't want Jess cleaning it for Cece.
Finally, Jess suggests that Nick and Cece have a real talk. "Fine, but no more of this 'It tastes so yummy' crap," Nick says.
Jess locks them in a room.
Schmidt takes over the sauce and sees the next ingredient is "some of that flat Jew bread."
Nick emerges from the room and tells Jess that they'll rent a popcorn machine on a trial basis. Cece realizes what Jess thought.
In the kitchen, Schmidt sees the spider and goes on a whacking crusade, smashing Coach's laptop with a wooden spoon and sending all 15 drafts of his email to May.
He thinks he's got it. He does not. It's on his face. Jess comes into the room and tells him. Schmidt runs away yelling "don't touch me" and "get it off!" Fawn comes in and assesses the situation. She walks over to Schmidt, slaps the spider dead off his face and asks when dinner is. Schmidt rants, urging the spider to vote Moscato.
Cece again asks Jess not to interfere.
Later, at dinner, they're all impressed by the sauce. "This tastes like the inside of a bear -- and that is a compliment," Fawn says.
Coach gets an email back from May, who appreciates the effort he put into the emails and agrees to go out with him.
Schmidt proposes a toast to Fawn, who likes him in spite of his flaws. "I do like you, but I hate your flaws," she says.
Jess holds Cece's hand under the table as Fawn kisses Schmidt. Winston reaches over to join them.
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