- Frank Sinatra Jr.: [his last recorded lines] Well fellas, we gave it our best shot. If you need me I'll be back in Palm Springs, which has been completely taken over by the gays.
- Glenn Quagmire: Peter, we could make a lot of money!
- Cleveland Brown: Yeah, we could make Tony Braxton money!
- Peter Griffin: Is that... Is that a lot?
- Cleveland Brown: It's a LOT! And then nothing. And then a record proceeds to go directly to the creditors.
- Chris Griffin: Oh hey, fellow teens. Wait a minute... Teens don't have wheelchairs!
- [Cleveland, Quagmire and Joe beat him down with baseball bats]
- [Lois walks in on Chris drinking from a whiskey bottle]
- Lois Griffin: Chris! What the hell are you doing?
- Chris Griffin: Calm down. This is how they package Snapple now. They're trying to trick kids into drinking it.
- Lois Griffin: You may not believe this, but there was a time when Snapple ruled the nation.
- Chris Griffin: Preposterous!
- Lois Griffin: It's true. Even Jerry Seinfeld drank it, and he was the president of the 90s.