- Penn Jillette: I was kind of, ah, flying more solo than I usually am on this; I get much less help from Teller 'cause all Teller wanted to talk about is how much he liked rubbing against you, which I didn't get to do that. so, I was, ah...
- Amazing Allison - Mentalist: I held you hands.
- Penn Jillette: I know you held my hand; I wanted to rub your ass.
- Mac King - Magician: DelMarlo, you'll notice in this, ah, trick, that many of the things I say have more than one meaning, like guinea pig. Ah, do you know anything about the other kind of guinea pigs? The little fury pets? Do you know what they eat?
- DelMarlo (audience member): Pet food.