iZombie (TV Series)

Abra Cadaver (2015)

Rahul Kohli: Ravi Chakrabarti

Photos 

Quotes 

• [Ravi tells Liv that he would like a cool stage name] 

  Ravi Chakrabarti : Syd Wicked. I want to change my name to something cool like that. What do you think of Rick Bang?

  Olivia Moore : I think Rick Bang lives in a one-bedroom apartment in the San Fernando Valley and gets paid to do it on camera.

  Ravi Chakrabarti : Ow. Well, Steph told me how to figure out my porn name. Sadly, it's Polly Cripplegate.

• [magician-brain Liv does a magic card trick for Ravi] 

  Olivia Moore : Okay. Have you thought of a card? Do you see it?

  Ravi Chakrabarti : [Liv does the magic trick, as Ravi gasps]  The 10 of clubs is missing. Where did it go, you witch?

  Olivia Moore : Ah! The 10 of clovers. A clover needs a dark space to take root. A place as dark as a closed casket buried six feet under.

  Ravi Chakrabarti : That's dark.

  Olivia Moore : Or, a man's back pocket.

  Ravi Chakrabarti : [Ravi gasps when finding the card in his back pocket]  This is the best brain ever! I almost want to start killing magicians so it never ends.

• [Peyton talks to Ravi and Major about women not being too needy] 

  Peyton Charles : Let's get it all out in the open, Man-Things. What about Liv? She's not glomming onto you, is she? She's not cramping your style? She's not being too needy?

  Major Lilywhite : No. It's all good. Real good.

  Major Lilywhite : [Peyton and Ravi remain quiet]  I mean, today she left me a voice-mail about how drowning would be a beautiful way to die, but otherwise, you know, same old Liv.

  Ravi Chakrabarti : Ah, yeah, uh, she's rolling hard on a death-obsessed magician. It will pass. She just needs to eat someone else's brain.

  Major Lilywhite : Is that all?

  Ravi Chakrabarti : Mm-hmm.

• [Major asks Ravi and Peyton for Zombie-Liv advice] 

  Major Lilywhite : Question. Since the two of you have really experienced zombie Liv first-hand, how extreme do her personality swings get?

  Ravi Chakrabarti : She can be a bit mercurial. But most of the time I enjoy the variety. Of course, I don't have to date her.

  Peyton Charles : There was the time her eyes turned red and she killed someone. I'm thinking that was probably a one-off.

  Major Lilywhite : A one-off. That's good.

• [Liv and Ravi talk about Ravi's life with the ladies] 

  Ravi Chakrabarti : I used to be a real wand hand until I realized it didn't help me with the ladies.

  Olivia Moore : So you moved onto video games and forensic pathology?

  Olivia Moore : [Ravi hesitates]  Hey, uh, Clive and I have to go question a magician after his show tonight You want to come?

  Ravi Chakrabarti : [Ravi hangs his head in disappointment]  I wish. I have a date.

  [Liv squints her eyes at Ravi] 

• [Ravi and Liv follow the new lead of magicians Smoak and Meers] 

  Ravi Chakrabarti : Hashtag, 'I think we have a new lead.'

  Olivia Moore : Don't do that.

• [Peyton tells Ravi maybe it's a bad idea she moved in after Ravi tries to kiss her] 

  Peyton Charles : Aren't you seeing Steph?

  Ravi Chakrabarti : Well, I, uh, I ended it.

  Peyton Charles : Maybe this was a bad idea, moving in.

  Ravi Chakrabarti : No, no, no, no, no, no, stay. I'm an idiot. Maybe I've been drinking? No, it's just the idiocy.

• [Liv asks Ravi how him and his girfriend Steph are] 

  Olivia Moore : Things good with you and Steph?

  Ravi Chakrabarti : Yeah, they're fine, I guess.

  Olivia Moore : Can you have sex without worrying you'll turn her into a member of the undead?

  Ravi Chakrabarti : Yeah.

  Olivia Moore : Then no bitching.

  Ravi Chakrabarti : Well, I didn't think I was. It might be time for someone to eat.

• [Liv, Clive, and Ravi go over Syd Wicked's crime scene] 

  Olivia Moore : What kind of name is Syd Wicked?

  Clive Babineaux : Stage name. He's a magician. You don't dress like that unless you do magic or you hate your parents. Apparently there's some big magician convention happening at this hotel all week.

  Ravi Chakrabarti : Of course! PrestoFest. How did I miss that. I'm on the mailing list.

• [Liv, Clive, and Ravi watch the video of Syd Wicked on his laptop] 

  Syd Wicked : Death. Most of us live in constant fear that at any moment, death will wrench us into an eternal darkness. But I have stared Death right in his face and he blinked first. Mark that. I'll use that for the intro for my closer.

  Ravi Chakrabarti : What showmanship. The world has lost a storyteller.

• [Liv, Clive, and Ravi go over the hotel security tapes that were watching over Syd Wicked's hotel room] 

  Olivia Moore : So, Syd went into his room alive, no one else came in or out of it, and yet, he was murdered?

  Ravi Chakrabarti : You know what this means, right? The murder is a magic trick. Sometimes I really love this job.

• [Ravi asks Peyton for girlfriend advice] 

  Ravi Chakrabarti : You know Steph, the woman I'm kind of seeing?

  Peyton Charles : 'Kind of seeing.' Yeah. Women love when you use qualifiers like that.

  Ravi Chakrabarti : I like her, it's... My question is, look, she just changed her Facebook status to 'In a relationship.'

  Peyton Charles : And that freaked you out. Look, I change my status to 'In a relationship' all the time, just to get dudes to leave me alone.

  Ravi Chakrabarti : Yeah. Okay. I can see that.

• [Ravi tells Peyton that him and his girlfriend Steph are planning to celebrate Guy Fawkes Day together] 

  Ravi Chakrabarti : Well, she's just getting a bit intense, you know, okay... I mean, she told me we're celebrating Guy Fawkes Day tomorrow. I didn't have the heart to tell her it was a few weeks ago.

  Peyton Charles : [Peyton chuckles]  Guy Fawkes Day, huh? Yeah... she's definitely going to propose.

• [Liv sums up what Twitter is to Ravi] 

  Olivia Moore : Twitter, a vast collection of humanity's impetuous thought vomitings.

  Ravi Chakrabarti : I'd like to think I'm quite introspective about what I tweet to my, 23 followers.

• [Clive arrives to the crime scene of Syd Wicked's dead body] 

  Ravi Chakrabarti : Ugh! What is that horrible, horrible smell?

  Clive Babineaux : I'm guessing it's the dead body.

• [Ravi reveals to Clive and Liv the piece of rotting fish he found with Syd's dead body] 

  Ravi Chakrabarti : So, I took a gander around the room, and found this in the wastebasket, with this lovely note attached. 'Welcome to PrestoFest.' 'Here's a gift from your fellow magicians.' So I thinks to myself, 'Hmm. Okay. Kind of boilerplate stuff.' Maybe they thought the summer sausage would make up for the stock sentiments. But wait, there's more.

  Clive Babineaux : We're all hoping.

  Olivia Moore : [Ravi reveals the old piece of meat]  Ugh!

  Ravi Chakrabarti : [as Ravi concludes on reading the note]  'Enjoy the decay!'

• [Clive realizes that they're going to be interviewing a bunch of magicians] 

  Clive Babineaux : So how many magicians come to this.

  Ravi Chakrabarti : PrestoFest every year? Oh, upwards of 200. Then you have your semi-professionals, your weekend wizards, and the occasional hypnotist. 'PrestoFest, come for the illusions and stay for the sleight of ha... '

  Clive Babineaux : [Clive inerrupts Ravi]  Looks like we're going to be interviewing a whole lot of magicians. Sometimes I really hate this job.

• [Ravi arrives home only to find his home and Steph in a British setting] 

  Steph : 'Hello, Governor! Mind the gap.' Is the accent too much?

  Ravi Chakrabarti : [Ravi nervously laughs]  This... This looked like it took a lot of work.