- Ashley 'Ash' J. Williams: Forget the stupid book. Chasing that thing is only going to give you a leg cramp.
- Ruby Knowby: You don't know what you're talking about.
- Ashley 'Ash' J. Williams: Oh, I don't? You're the one that grew up your entire life looking for that book, and you never found it. Me on the other hand, I can't fart without tripping over that thing. And I fart a lot.
- Brock Williams: [after riding a mechanical bull, To Ash] All in the ass, son. You got to clench those cheeks, nice and tight. So you them so hard you can crack a walnut on them.
- Amber: [grabs Brock's ass] Ooh, my. The fanny's hard as Detroit steel, Daddy.
- Brock Williams: Yeah, it ain't the only thing.