Jimmy Kimmel: Self - Host

Quotes 

• [Matt is in his room waiting to get on the show] 

  Himself - Host : Hey, stupid! How's it going?

  Himself - Guest : Hi asshole!

• Herself - Guest : Hello, you're on the air.

  Himself - Guest : Hi, this is... Matt... from Boston. I have a question about the mowfee.

  Herself - Guest : And what's your question, Matt?

  Himself - Host : Hold on a minute! Matt, from Boston, what's your last name?

  Himself - Guest : [uncomfortable silence]  Uh, Affleck.

  Himself - Host : [scoffs]  Yeah, your name is Matt Affleck? Get off the phone!

  Himself - Host : [to Olivia]  He knows what this is about.

  [phone disconnects] 

• Herself - Guest : Hello, you're on the air.

  Himself - Guest : [falsetto]  Hi, this is Linda from Sacramento.

  Herself - Guest : HI, Linda. What's your question?

  Himself - Guest : [normal voice]  Uh, actually it's Matt Damon, and I really do want to ask about the mowfee.

  Himself - Host : Cut the line!

  Himself - Host : [to Olivia]  He doesn't really want to ask about that and I'm not going to let his stupid voice ruin my Shop-A-Thon, DEMON!

  [phone disconnects] 

• [Matt tried to force his way onto the show] 

  Himself - Host : Get him out of here! Just *get him out of the whole BUILDING!*

• Himself - Host : Honestly, sincerest apologies to Matt Damon. We really didn't have time for him tonight...

  Himself - Guest : [from the parking lot]  Hey Jimmy! JIMMY! Did you call my name?

  Himself - Host : Yeah, I wa just saying that we don't have any more time...

  Himself - Guest : That's alright. I'm not bitter. I'm in a really giving mood right now. So in addition to the money I'm going to donate to RED, I'm also making a personal donation right now. I'm donating some *pee* into your gas tank!

  Himself - Host : That son of a bitch!

  [runs outside]