- Ayame Sarutobi: [in a sack] I have no clothes on, and it's freezing...
- [Gintoki kicks her into a pool of water]
- Kagura: One Santa after another? I can't tell who's real or fake!
- Shinpachi Shimura: Really, over half of them are just stalkers and perverts.
- Isao Kondo: I, Monkey Claus, have marked this jungle! I won't allow anyone to lay a finger on the female ape who lives here!
- Tae Shimura: Who are you calling a female ape?
- Kagura: Remember, a Santa that can't grant the wishes of children is nothing more than a trespassing old pedophile!