Supergirl (TV Series)
Mr. & Mrs. Mxyzptlk (2017)
Chris Wood: Mon-El
Photos
Quotes
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Mon-El : Hey, I cannot believe that you sided with that-that fast-talking, nefarious twerp.
Kara Danvers : I did not side with him.
Mon-El : You sent me away so you could have private time with your stalker!
Kara Danvers : I sent him away so that he didn't snap you off to Siberia, and plus, you were being out of control!
Mon-El : Oh, yeah, I'm-I'm sorry that I was busy, uh, defending your honor.
Kara Danvers : [insulted] I am not some damsel in distress. I'm Supergirl! And I can defend myself, and more importantly, I told you I was handling it.
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Mon-El : I don't know how you got to this planet, but she's with me.
Mr. Mxyzptlk : The other suitor! I didn't see you there, tall, dark and bland-some. You're barely there, let alone my romantic rival.
Kara Danvers : [Mon-El tries to hit him] No!
Mon-El : [as Mxy vanishes] What...
Mr. Mxyzptlk : [reappearing] Invisible is a good look on you. Let's play to your strengths.
J'onn J'onzz : [seeing him appear in the DEO in nothing but his underwear] Mon-El?
Mon-El : Hey. Hey.
[under his breath]
Mon-El : I'm gonna kill him.
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J'onn J'onzz : Agent Schott, have you found records of human dealings with these lifeforms?
Winn Schott : Uh, yes. Actually, lots. If you just...
[putting information up on the monitors]
Winn Schott : ...take from it what you will, but between genies, djinn, and leprechauns, I mean, humans have been documenting contact with reality-bending creatures for centuries.
Mon-El : [entering] And how did they slay them? On Daxam, we crush them.
Kara Danvers : What? No. Absolutely not.
Mon-El : We learned the hard way that the only way to deal with them was to kill them quickly. Let me... let me take care of him.
Kara Danvers : No! No. We don't kill.
Mon-El : I'm not gonna let some imp stalk you and live.
Kara Danvers : I can take care of myself, Mon-El. Let me handle it.
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Kara Danvers : So, you and me... um, there was something happening between us before Mxyzptlk showed up.
Mon-El : Mm-hmm.
Kara Danvers : And I really, really want to get back to that.
Mon-El : Oh, yeah. Me, too.
Kara Danvers : But first, I have to get rid of him.
Mon-El : I mean, of all the girls in all the galaxies, that the little imp had to pick you to pursue as his mate...
Kara Danvers : But don't worry. Because before you know it, he's going to be back in his dimension, and you and I, we can celebrate the Day of the Valentine together. I promise.
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Mon-El : I am not jealous. Okay? I'm angry, because you have an unfair double standard.
Kara Danvers : Yeah. You're right, I don't hold you and Mxy to the same standard, because I expect bad behavior from him, but from you, I expect much, much better.
Mon-El : Oh. No, no, no. No, no, no, no.
Kara Danvers : What?
Kara Danvers : You do not get to turn this around on me. Because I am the one in this situation, at this moment...
[to a passing agent]
Mon-El : Good to see you, Dana.
[to Kara]
Mon-El : ...that is supposed to be mad.
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Mon-El : Hey, pal. How's it going?
Winn Schott : Oh, you know. Believe it or not, I'm having a girl issue.
Mon-El : [feeling awkward after a fight with Kara] Good timing.
Winn Schott : Hey, hey. You're great with girls. They throw themselves at you left and right.
Mon-El : Yeah, not all of them.
Winn Schott : Come on, hit me. I need, like, a relationship pearl. Come on.
Mon-El : Yeah. Uh... things were a lot easier on Daxam, when I objectified women and didn't care about anyone.
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Mon-El : What is in these?
Winn Schott : Oh-ho-ho! Only the coolest alien artifacts ever.
[slapping Mon-El's hand away]
Winn Schott : Ah, ah! We look with our eyes, okay?
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Winn Schott : Now, I know that the "E" in DEO stands for, like, "extra-normal", but this... I did not know we had stuff like this, dude.
Mon-El : [seeing a blue amulet] What would this do to the imp?
Winn Schott : I have, uh, almost no earthly idea, but it tested off the charts on fifth dimensional energy.
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Mon-El : Hey, I just, um... I just wanted to... to let you know that, um... you're awesome.
[she laughs]
Mon-El : No, you are. You, I mean... you just... you out-tricked the most cunning intergalactic trickster, and you did it your way, without... without violence, which I never should have doubted because you're... you know, you're you.
Kara Danvers : Thanks.
Mon-El : I also wanted to say, um... I'm sorry. For acting like an ass. I've given it a lot of thought, and I have realized, um... that you are my kryptonite.
Kara Danvers : Me?
Mon-El : Oh, uh... no, I mean, um... I mean my-my feelings for you. I've never... I've never felt like this about... about anyone in my life. I mean, I-I... I didn't know that there were this-this many feelings to even be had. And my emotions, I guess they just... they made me, um, go kind of crazy.
Kara Danvers : Yeah. Yeah. I totally get it, yeah.
Mon-El : Anyway, I'm-I'm really glad you're okay. And I'm really, really happy that you didn't marry that guy.
Kara Danvers : Me, too.
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Mon-El : I've come to challenge you, Mxyzptlk.
Mr. Mxyzptlk : A Daxamite duel. I never had one of those before. For Kara's hand?
Mon-El : Yes.
Mr. Mxyzptlk : To the death?
Mon-El : Yes.
Mr. Mxyzptlk : I accept.
Mon-El : Good. But first...
Mr. Mxyzptlk : [interrupting him] Buddy, if we're gonna take part in a proper duel, we're gonna do it like the gentlemen that we are.
[Mxyzptlk snaps his fingers, and Mon-El is transported to a theater stage, appearing in Revolutionary War garb]
Mon-El : What the...?
Mr. Mxyzptlk : How do you like the duds, monsieur Hamilton? I'm a Burr man myself. He gets a bad rap, but let's be honest. He was the one who knew his way around a pistol.
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J'onn J'onzz : You've just been visited by a fifth-dimensional being.
Kara Danvers : Wait, you've seen one of these before?
J'onn J'onzz : Not here on Earth. On Mars, one of them moved the Xan'Xie Mountains halfway across the planet during the Zook Uprising. Fifth-dimensional life forms possess the ability to warp our reality to their own whims. Abilities that would appear, to all intents and purposes, to be magic.
Mon-El : On Daxam, we had zero-tolerance policy for those creatures.
Kara Danvers : You had 'em on Daxam?
Mon-El : Yeah. And those guys knew how to party, but they're dangerous. Very dangerous.
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Mr. Mxyzptlk : You're lucky I flew in when I did, Supergirl. I mean, do you think this fraud could have helped you save the day? What superpower? I guess he could have leaped over Parasite like a gazelle.
Supergirl : Hey, that's...
Mon-El : Oh, would you like to see my superpower? 'Cause I will just rip you apart with my bare hands right here if you're interested in that.
Mr. Mxyzptlk : Spoken like a true Daxamite. You're nothing but a thug. I mean, this goddess, she requires a man who's equal in her powers and wits. Who can come to her aid when villains suddenly pop up.
Supergirl : Wait. The... Parasite. This-this was all you?
Mon-El : Don't you... don't you see what he's doing here? He-he's creating havoc so that he can play the... hero and then impress you.
Mr. Mxyzptlk : What's wrong with that? She's been slumming it with you for so long, she doesn't realize what's out there.
Mon-El : Why don't you just say your name backwards, buddy, and just-just zap back to wherever you came from, okay?
Supergirl : Wait, wait, wait, wait. That's how you send him away?
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Mon-El : Sometimes you're not a good judge of what you can handle. So... there it is.
Kara Danvers : Really?
Mon-El : Yes.
Kara Danvers : Is that why you didn't tell me that the secret to getting Mxy off Earth was to get him to say his name backwards, because you didn't think I could handle it?
Mon-El : No, I didn't tell you that because it never works! 'Cause first of all, it's hard enough to say it forward, and second of all, that guy is a motormouth, but he's not stupid.
Kara Danvers : You should have told me.
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Mon-El : You are so hard on me, Kara. Okay, but why not him? I mean, that guy, he conjured... hey, hey!
Kara Danvers : What? God!
Mon-El : He conjured up a supervillain and set him loose on National City. Did you give him an earful? No... no, no, no. Because Mxy snaps his fingers, and there's flowers in your loft. And he snaps his fingers, and you're in... you're in-you're in Vera Wang...
Kara Danvers : [amused] Oh, my god!
Mon-El : What?
Kara Danvers : You're jealous.
Mon-El : I'm... that is ridiculous.
Kara Danvers : Oh, is it?
Mon-El : You know what, Kara? I knew that you were a little full of yourself, like, a little bit.
Kara Danvers : [insulted] Full of myself?
Mon-El : But this is, like, off the charts.
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Kara Danvers : You know what? I thought you'd change. I really did, but you are still the same macho...
Mon-El : Oh, here it is. Say it.
Kara Danvers : ...egotistical...
Mon-El : Daxamite?
Kara Danvers : Yes!
Mon-El : [mocking] He's a Daxamite!
Kara Danvers : As you've always been.
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Mr. Mxyzptlk : Pistols at dawn! So revolutionary. I love it.
Mon-El : So if I shoot you with this, you'll die?
Mr. Mxyzptlk : That is generally how these things work, yes. But don't throw away your shot, because you'll only get one.
Mon-El : I only need one.
[cocking his pistol, he shoots Mxyzptlk; after reacting in pain, Mxy laughs]
Mr. Mxyzptlk : Did you really think I would hand you a loaded gun that could actually kill me? Oh, you Daxamites really are thick, aren't you?
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Mon-El : How could you ever think she'd want to be with someone like you?
Mr. Mxyzptlk : Why, do you think she wants to be with you? Face it, what have you got to offer her? I can give her anything. There's no contest between you and me, and you know it. I'm a god and you're a loser.
Mon-El : You're a dead man.
Mr. Mxyzptlk : [revealing he has the Fifth Dimension amulet] Strike that. Reverse it.
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Mr. Mxyzptlk : I hear you're allergic to lead.
Supergirl : [speeding in] Stop!
Mon-El : Kara.
Mr. Mxyzptlk : Sweetheart. This volatile maniac tried to kill me! It'll be better for all of us once I snuff him out.
Supergirl : I'll marry you!
Mr. Mxyzptlk : You will?
Mon-El : You will?
Supergirl : Yes. I've thought about it, and... and you're right. You're gifted, brilliant, and together we can do anything. Take me as your wife.
Mr. Mxyzptlk : Darling, you and I are going to be the ultimate power couple.
Mon-El : Kara, no.
Mr. Mxyzptlk : [vanishing him, leaving only his restraints] He talks too much. Let's get this show on the road. I'll get our officiant. You want the Pope, a Lubavitcher Rabbi?
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Mon-El : I wish I could snap my fingers and-and-and give you everything you wish for, and it kills me that he can do that stuff for you and I can't. And I-I... I acted badly, okay? Very badly. But please... please do not-do not marry him. I will be better for you...
Kara Danvers : It's not just the jealousy thing, Mon-El. It's the patronizing ego thing. I told you I could handle Mxy, and you didn't listen.
Mon-El : I swear to Rao, I will listen, Kara. I will respect you, just please, just give me... just give me another chance.
Kara Danvers : I'm sorry. I can't. I am marrying Mxyzptlk.
Mon-El : Kara, no.
Kara Danvers : Look, I-I'm not in love with him, but it's the only way to stop him from hurting other people, and from killing you. And you know what? He makes an excellent point. He has limitless power that he can use to help me fight for justice. We'll make a great team.
Mon-El : [disheartened] I thought we were gonna do that.
Kara Danvers : We're too different, Mon-El.
[she opens the front door as non-verbal request for him to leave]
Kara Danvers : I'm sorry.
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Mon-El : I get that you were upset that I wasn't listening to you and I... I-I tried really, really, really hard to listen to you this time. And I heard that you... you don't think that we belong together, and-and I respected that.
Kara Danvers : No, but Mxy wasn't the only one I tricked. I didn't mean it. I just said it so you'd let me go, to protect you. Plus, he could have been listening, so...
Mon-El : Wait. Wait, so you didn't mean any of that stuff that you said?
Kara Danvers : Well, the first bit about your infuriating male ego, that part I meant.
Mon-El : [she laughs] Okay, okay.
Kara Danvers : But the second part about us not being a match... I didn't mean that.
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Mon-El : So, this-this... this day of Valen-teen, is that something we're supposed to...
Kara Danvers : Gee, uh, let's talk in private.
Mon-El : Okay, yeah, private. This is good.
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Supergirl : Superman?
Mr. Mxyzptlk : [in a Superman-ish outfit] Not quite.
Supergirl : [snickering] Mxy? Are you serious?
Mr. Mxyzptlk : Well, I thought you could use a little extra help, Supey-Baby.
Mon-El : Um, hello. I was helping her, so...
Mr. Mxyzptlk : You? That's a laugh.
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Kara Danvers : This was a mistake, you and me.
Mon-El : Agreed.
Kara Danvers : We shouldn't have...
Mon-El : Nope.
Kara Danvers : Good.
Mon-El : [awkward pause] So, are you gonna kill the imp?
Kara Danvers : No.
