Family Guy (TV Series)

Gronkowsbees (2017)

Rob Gronkowski: Rob Gronkowski

Photos 

Quotes 

• Rob Gronkowski : What's going on here? Are you guys trying to get rid of me?

  Peter Griffin : Yeah we are trying to get rid of you!

  Rob Gronkowski : Why?

  Peter Griffin : 'Cause you're a pain in the ass to live next to! I mean, what the hell, Gronk? Why you gotta be like this! You're a *millionaire*! You have the sweetest job in the world, you can do whatever you want! Why do you gotta act like such an idiot all the time?

  Rob Gronkowski : It's not a choice, Grover. Or rather, an obligation. You see, I'm been groomed for this my entire life. Scoring touchdowns, making people laugh, punishing my body... And in the name, all in the name of entertainment. Don't you understand? I'm a commodity. A product. A modern day gladiator. You ask about the why's and the therefore's behind the boorish fascade. The answer is simple: I play a jester because society deems it neccessary.

  [the guys stare at him in awe] 

  Rob Gronkowski : Also, I'm fucking insane! Eat a butt, fatty! Gronk ain't going nowhere!

• Rob Gronkowski : Hey, you guys seem great. You want to come in and eat pizza standing up?

  Peter Griffin : Uh, yeah.

  Rob Gronkowski : Cool. You mind if I call you all Grover? I don't like learning names.

  Peter Griffin : Yeah, sure, that'd be sweet.

  Rob Gronkowski : Well, come on in, Grover.

  Peter Griffin : [excited gasp]  He knows my name!

• Rob Gronkowski : Workout room, kegerator cellar, another workout room, and over here's a room that's just got a lit candle on a bale of hay.

  Peter Griffin : I-Is that just 'cause of the danger?

  Rob Gronkowski : That's exactly why.

  Peter Griffin : My dumb wife won't let me have a room like that. Do you have a wife?

  [Gronk laughs, and he joins in nervously] 

  Peter Griffin : What's going on?

  Rob Gronkowski : Let's go check out the hot tub.

  [riding down a zip line out the window] 

  Rob Gronkowski : Check it out, my hot tub is filled with coffee. Grab a donut, go to town! Sponsored by Dunkin' Donuts. And the pool is filled with my favorite food: soup with little shapes in it. Sponsored by Campbell's Soup.

  Joe Swanson : Oh, alphabet soup is my favorite, too.

  Rob Gronkowski : What's a albaphet?

  Joe Swanson : Nothing. What you said is not anything.

  Rob Gronkowski : And check out the shower! Ultra Sunrise Monster Energy Drink. Sponsored by Monster Energy Drink.

  Cleveland Brown : Why do you keep saying what things are sponsored by?

  Rob Gronkowski : My manager said if I don't, I won't go to heaven. Sponsored by SMS Audio Sweatproof Sport Headphones.

• Peter Griffin : [bringing housewarming gifts for Gronk]  So, what'd you get him, Cleveland?

  Cleveland Brown : Oreo middles.

  Rob Gronkowski : [answering the door]  Whoa, four standing dogs?

  Glenn Quagmire : No, we're people, sir.

  Peter Griffin : Um, Mr. Gronk? I'm Peter Griffin. I live in the house behind yours. We wanted to welcome you to the neighborhood.

  Rob Gronkowski : Awesome!

  [taking Peter's gift of scraped-off Dorito powder, he throws it on the ground] 

  Glenn Quagmire : Ha-ha, he spiked it!

  Peter Griffin : I was hoping he would do that.

  Cleveland Brown : My eyes!

• Rob Gronkowski : Grovers, you made it! Here, have a beer.

  Peter Griffin : Thanks. Hey, Gronk, you know, there's something I always wanted to ask you. When you know you have single coverage, do you give a hand signal to Brady or is it just eye contact?

  Rob Gronkowski : I don't know. Wanna see me dance?

  Peter Griffin : [Gronk starts dancing]  Well, no, I ask because sometimes you're being covered by a little guy, and then you and Brady'll look at each other and... a-am... am I supposed to touch you? What-what am I... what am I doing here?

  Rob Gronkowski : Oh, I'm sorry, bro. What was the question?

  Peter Griffin : I-I just wanna know if you and Brady have, like, a... like, a secret hand signal or something.

  Rob Gronkowski : Whoa, that is top secret, but lean in and I'll tell you.

  Peter Griffin : [a la Jar Jar Binks, as Gronk belches in his face]  How rude.

• Rob Gronkowski : What's up, butt munchers?

  Peter Griffin : That's us! He called us butt munchers! We're butt munchers!

  Rob Gronkowski : All right, time to Gronk a dump in my new house.

  Peter Griffin : Oh. My. God! Our new neighbor is Gronk.

  Lou Ferrigno : Hey, I'm your new mailman. Former star of "The Incredible Hulk," Lou Ferrigno.

  Peter Griffin : On any other day, that would be so exciting. Please give me my mail and go.

• Peter Griffin : Uh, listen, Gronk, um, it's getting kind of late. Don't you think maybe it's time to call it a night?

  Rob Gronkowski : Yeah, sure. Hey, you ever seen a nard explode?

  Peter Griffin : A-A what? A wha... a nard? I don't... i-is that something on the Internet? Uh, 'cause I...

  [Gronk takes the towel off his shoulder, twirls it into a rope, and snaps Peter in the groin with it] 

  Peter Griffin : AHH! Damn it, what the hell?

  Rob Gronkowski : [he and his guests laugh]  Come on, don't get mad, bro. I was just kidding.

  Peter Griffin : You were kidding? What was the joke?

  Rob Gronkowski : This was!

  Peter Griffin : [he does it again]  Oh, damn it, you hit the seam!

  [Gronk and his friends laugh again] 

  Peter Griffin : You know what? You're a jerk, Gronk! That's it, I'm getting rid of that bastard. Just like I helped kick the British out of America.

  [cut to colonial America] 

  Peter Griffin : This tyranny shall not stand! For without liberty...

  [Gronk runs in and snaps his groin with a towel] 

  Peter Griffin : Ah, crap, he's even in the cutaways!

  [groaning in pain] 

  Peter Griffin : Just... just go to commercial. I'm gonna squat here and hold onto this bench.

• Rob Gronkowski : Oh, cool, we're fighting? You guys mind if I eat while I beat you up?

• Rob Gronkowski : You guys are bad fighters.

  Joe Swanson : That's his third sub.

  Rob Gronkowski : [Stewie's beehive lands on him]  Oh, cool! Honey rain!

  [a bee flies by] 

  Rob Gronkowski : Ahh, oh, my God, is that a bee? You have bees here?

  Peter Griffin : Uh, yeah, it's the world.

  Rob Gronkowski : [Stewie's bees swarm at him]  Holy crap! There's a ton of them! Dad, start up the party bus! We're moving!

  Gordon Gronkowski : Bees?

  Rob Gronkowski : Yeah, bees! And they're showing blitz! We gotta leave on two!

  [he, his brothers, and their dad load onto their bus and leave, the swarm of bees following them] 

  Joe Swanson : You think their Wi-Fi is "Vag-Town"? Yeah, that's probably them. Look at that, no password.

• Peter Griffin : [woken by one of Gronk's parties]  God, they're still going?

  Lois Griffin : Peter, this is exactly what I told you would happen! Not so much fun anymore, is it?

  Peter Griffin : [the loud music stops]  Oh, thank God, maybe they're wrapping it up.

  [another song starts, followed by a cannon firing] 

  Peter Griffin : Damn it, I can't take anymore! He is the worst neighbor ever. You won't believe what he did yesterday.

  [cut to Peter watering his front lawn] 

  Rob Gronkowski : [down the street]  Hey, Grover, catch!

  [he throws what looks to be a football, but then his party bus lands on Peter] 

• Glenn Quagmire : You sure this is gonna work, Peter?

  Peter Griffin : Absolutely. Gronk went to the University of Arizona, and everyone who went to the University of Arizona believes leprechauns are real. And since Cleveland already owns a green suit and a top hat...

  Cleveland Brown : This is my Easter clothes.

  [he rings the doorbell] 

  Rob Gronkowski : [answering the door]  Whoa, a leprechaun!

  Peter Griffin : Say the thing.

  Cleveland Brown : [with an Irish brogue]  Top o' the morning to you, Mr. Gronkowski. Have you any interest in a pot of gold? All you have to do is move to Tallahassee!

  Rob Gronkowski : Wait a minute, this is just a disguise!

  Cleveland Brown : [getting his mustache pulled off]  Ahh, son of a bitch!