- Kelley Winters: Can you not call him Dad? Just because you're young enough to be his daughter, doesn't mean you have to act like it.
- Samantha: Well... This is gonna be a fun ride.
- [Kelley, Allison, and Larry are playing "Screw, Marry, Kill"]
- Kelley Winters: Eddie Redmayne, Alex Pettyfer, Miles Teller.
- Allison: Who's Eddie Redmayne?
- Larry: Are you serious? The guy who played Stephen Hawking.
- Allison: Okay, well, I can't *screw* him.
- [Kelley and Larry look at her in confusion]
- Allison: He's in a wheelchair!
- Kelley Winters: [on the phone to Allison while trying on clothes] Nothing's tight enough; I look like an elementary school teacher.
- Christian Booth: I'm Christian.
- Kelley Winters: I know.
- Christian Booth: Is that your name? "I Know"?
- Kelley Winters: No! I mean, I know...
- Allison: Her name is Kelley. And I'm Allison, and this is Larry.
- Larry: S'up, man.
- Kelley Winters: It's gonna say on my headstone, "Loved Christian Booth."
- Allison: That's what I want on mine.
- Kelley Winters: Get away from me!
- Christian Booth: I can't live without you!
- Kelley Winters: You need to leave.