Lucifer (TV Series)

What Would Lucifer Do? (2017)

Tom Ellis: Lucifer Morningstar

Photos 

Quotes 

• Chloe Decker : What is going on here? And how did you get that horse?

  Lucifer Morningstar : [from atop a horse]  What horse?

• Amenadiel : You see, Father wants me to just... To just be there for you. To have your back. Now that you're evolving.

  Lucifer Morningstar : There was this, ah, soul that I used to torture back in Hell. And like a good masochist, he'd call the shots. "Burn me. Freeze me. Hurt me." So, I did. And this went on for centuries. Until, one day, for some reason, he missed his daily punishment. And when I returned, he was crying. "Please, my king," he said, "Don't ever forget me again. I promise I'll be good." It was then that I realized he was so full of self-loathing, void of any self-respect, that no matter the depth of my cruelty, whatever minuscule attention I paid, gave meaning to his... pointless existence.

  Amenadiel : Why are you telling me this?

  Lucifer Morningstar : Because he reminds me of you. And you think I've changed? You, the former angel, powerless and pathetic, a disgraced failure with no better way to spend your days than yipping at my heels for scraps to remind you of a time of when you once mattered?

  Amenadiel : Hm. I know what you're doing. And you can kill the messenger if you must. But just know that I am here for you.

• Lucifer Morningstar : What is it you all desire?

  Carly Glantz : Get rich.

  Firehawk Girl #1 : Instagram model.

  Bonehead Bobby : Be my own boss.

  Firehawk Kid : Play video games!

  Colin : My father's love.

  Lucifer Morningstar : Urgh.

• Lucifer Morningstar : What are you so upset about? I mean, it was a valuable teaching moment for the children. They are our future, after all.

  Chloe Decker : You're teaching them to grow drugs!

  Lucifer Morningstar : No, no, no, I'm teaching them to *sell* drugs.

• Lucifer Morningstar : Reach for the unexpected, and allow yourself to be surprised.

• Lucifer Morningstar : All right, first off, a... a makeover. Clothes. Shoes. Here's an idea, try smiling.

  [Amenadiel pulls an awkward grin] 

  Lucifer Morningstar : Right. We can work on that.

• Judge : Who the hell do you think you are?

  Lucifer Morningstar : Lucifer Morningstar, Your Honor. My apologies. I had no idea I was dealing with a man of such stature. In my defense, when we came in last night, I was blindfolded by your wife's underwear.

• Lucifer Morningstar : We're surrounded by ne'er-do-wells, and he thinks the culprit came from the outside. Delusional.

  [Looks at group of teens] 

  Lucifer Morningstar : Killer's obviously here.

  [Points] 

  Lucifer Morningstar : Probably him. Shifty eyes.

  [Spots red-head] 

  Lucifer Morningstar : Or... no, sorry... her. The ginger... She's got that "I like to watch the life drain out of people" look.

• Marcus Pierce : Well done, Lucifer. Way to be a good influence.

  Lucifer Morningstar : How dare you say that!

• Lucifer Morningstar : Go. Release your inner Devil.

  Amenadiel : But what should I do first?

  Lucifer Morningstar : Oh, I don't know. Get laid.

• Lucifer Morningstar : Rest easy. I'm not a thief. Your valuables are untouched. Unless, of course, you consider your wife a "valuable". In that case, I've touched her several times. Twice this morning.

• Lucifer Morningstar : You curtail the free will of these rebellious souls by making them follow your rules, and then you trick them into thinking they've changed by giving them wings? A most vile manipulation. And completely unoriginal, I might add.

• Carly Glantz : Not saying a word without my lawyer.

  Lucifer Morningstar : Sorry, I taught her that.

• Lucifer Morningstar : What's your deepest, darkest fantasy?

  Lexy : To have sex in the ball pit at a Chuck E. Cheese.

  Lucifer Morningstar : Not what I was expecting.

• Tyson Chase : [after Lucifer speeds them to the edge of a cliff]  I don't want to die! I'll come with you, tell you anything!

  Lucifer Morningstar : Smells like you might need a change of underpants first, Tyson.

• Carly Glantz : It was dark, and I was looking through a window. Geez, do I have to do all your work for you?

  Mr. Glantz : Carly, tone.

  Carly Glantz : Should I roll over and fetch, too, Dad?

  Lucifer Morningstar : Parents. Am I right?

• Jerry Blackcrow : Taking care of your gear is the sixth stepping stone on the Firehawk Path to healing.

  Lucifer Morningstar : Ah, is stepping stone seven, "Use said gear to kill someone you hate"?

• Lucifer Morningstar : The Devil's back.

• Lucifer Morningstar : The way to hell really is paved with bad acne-prone intentions.

• Lucifer Morningstar : I grant you... entrée to all things me. And give me your phone.

  Amenadiel : Okay.

  Lucifer Morningstar : Right. Now you have access to all my social media accounts: Instagram, Snapchat, Grindr...