Lucifer (TV Series)

Anything Pierce Can Do I Can Do Better (2018)

Tom Ellis: Lucifer Morningstar

Quotes 

• Chloe Decker : Why do you care who I'm with?

  Lucifer Morningstar : Because he doesn't... He doesn't deserve you.

  Chloe Decker : Then who does deserve me?

  Lucifer Morningstar : Someone. Someone better?

• Lucifer Morningstar : [Discovering Pierce is still alive]  Shouldn't you be, I don't know, having tea with Hitler by now?

• Chloe Decker : If she didn't blackmail you, then who did?

  Myles Drucker : Beats me.

  Lucifer Morningstar : Right. Well, you better not be pulling our legs.

  [laughs] 

• Ella Lopez : The ballet shoe had traces of olive oil, Evian and beeswax.

  Lucifer Morningstar : So our killer's a bumblebee with expensive taste?

• Dan Espinoza : Why leave the murder weapon behind?

  Chloe Decker : Maybe whoever did this freaked out and ran? We've seen it before.

  Lucifer Morningstar : Yes, we have, from the lowest form of scum on earth... like Pierce.

• Lucifer Morningstar : Here's something I can do that other people, rhymes with Shmierce, cannot.

• Lucifer Morningstar : I guess this is good-bye.

  Marcus Pierce : Yeah.

  Lucifer Morningstar : But, on the bright side, see you never.

• Chloe Decker : [about the one-legged choreographer]  He's also the creator of America's Next Prima Ballerina, the show that Reina was gonna host, until she reneged on her deal and it cost him a fortune.

  Lucifer Morningstar : Right. Well, I don't see why he wouldn't take such a loss in stride.

  [laughs] 

  Lucifer Morningstar : You see what I did there? "In stride"?

• Lucifer Morningstar : I decided to get a jump on the case and take a few things off your plate. Which, I might add, is the opposite of Pierce, whose job it is to put things *on* your plate.

• Lucifer Morningstar : Choreographer with a bum leg? Is this one of those, "those who can't, teach" scenarios?

• Chloe Decker : You must be aware that Reina Markova was killed last night.

  Myles Drucker : Yeah, I heard. Big whoop.

  Lucifer Morningstar : Well, for a potential cold-blooded killer, you're being quite... obvious.

• Lucifer Morningstar : The moment you chose to pull the ripcord on your dubious plan, Dad chose to screw with you. By giving you exactly what you wanted. I mean, come on, really. It's God 101, isn't it?