- Superman: This is mostly a ride along, Stargirl, to see how a couple of vets handle a routine situation.
- [Grodd clobbers Superman with a flagpole]
- Gorilla Grodd: Routine? The end of human domination on Earth - you call that routine?
- Batman: I call it a light morning workout...
- [Batman pommels a handful of gorillas]
- Batman: With no cardio.
- [Mr. Mxyzptlk has caused Stargirl to enter Superman's body, Superman to occupy Batman's and Batman is in Stargirl's]
- Superman: This body switch doesn't seem to have diminished your effectiveness.
- Batman: I know. Isn't that great? I'm so excited about it.
- Stargirl: Are you, like, okay, Batman?
- Superman: Batman is used to fighting multiple foes, but not with the volatile emotions of a teenage girl.
- Batman: What's that supposed to mean? Why is everybody staring at me?
- [last lines]
- Batman: Stargirl, I just wanted to commend you on your quick thinking. Knowing that Firestorm was a dual personality, you surmised that the additional consciousness would make it's way into Mxyzptlk's head.
- [Batman abruptly leaves the scene]
- Superman: That wasn't actually your plan, was it?
- Stargirl: Frankly, I kinda wanted to meet him.
- Superman: [chuckling] It'll be our secret.
- Superman: Relax, Stargirl. You're doing great. Remember, every Leaguer had a first day. Everything will be just great.
- Batman: Tell that to the UN delegates about to be abducted by a super-intelligent megalomanical gorilla. Remember your training. Be efficent, ruthless. Neutralize your foe.
- Superman: And have fun. It's important to enjoy your work.
- [Mr. Mxyzptlk has caused Stargirl to enter Superman's body and Superman to occupy Batman's]
- Superman: My heat vision - shut it off!
- Stargirl: I don't know how!
- Superman: Think cold thoughts!
- Stargirl: Ah, icicles, Minnesota, Batman's disapproving stare...
- [Superman/Stargirl's heat vision instantly shuts off]
- Superman: This isn't working. We've got to deal with Mxyzptlk before we deal with Grodd's army.
- Stargirl: I think we should call in the cavalry. We need backup. Firestorm, especially.
- Superman: But won't Mxyzptlk just...
- Batman: Excellent, Stargirl. Batman to Justice League. Send Bravo Squad to my location. Bring Firestorm. Repeat, bring Fire...
- Gorilla Grodd: You have lost! The world is ours. Ready. Aim...
- Firestorm: [sudenly apprearing on the scene] Hey, Grodd! Where does an 800-pound Gorilla sit? Anywhere the Justice Leagues tells him to!
- Firestorm: I don't mean to toot my own horn, but I'm going to toot it. That was a pretty gangsta hero arrival line, huh, Dr. Stein?
- Professor Martin Stein: Ronald, I believe we've discussed how your grandstanding exacerbates your acute narcissism.
- Superman: Mr. Mxyzptlk!
- Stargirl: He's so cute! Whats a mixel...?
- Mr. Mxyzptlk: How could you not know me? You're breaking my heart.
- Batman: I thought you memorized all the Justice League dossiers I gave you.
- Stargirl: I've been cramming like crazy! I learned all about the atomic guy with the two personalities and backward talking lady magician, but when I read this guy's name on the file, I thought it was just a typo.
- Mr. Mxyzptlk: Hey, watch it, girlie. I'm the funny one here!
- Batman: Don't underestimate him. Mxyzptilk is an alien imp from the fifth dimension with powers beyond our understanding.and a pathological desire to create chaos.
- Mr. Mxyzptlk: That's mischief, Mr. Bats-in-the-Belfry!
- Gorilla Grodd: It appears the Justice League is having an identity crisis. We'll never have a better opportunity to crush them!
- Stargirl: That's a lot of gorillas.
- Batman: Specifics, Stargirl. You're evaluating an active threat to the U.N.
- Batman: Oh, right. Okay, there are like 30 to 40 gorillas attacking the United Nations building with ray guns. Probably minions of that bad gorilla in the JL Files I had to read. Gorilla Gropp or something.
- Batman: Grodd.
- Stargirl: [to Gorilla Grodd] That was more fun than a barrel of monkeys, Grodd, but now you're done!
- Mr. Mxyzptlk: [suddenly appearing from the fifth dimension] Done? Are you kidding me?
- Gorilla Grodd: We will crush you beneath our feet!
- Superman: Hands. Crush beneath your hands. Because you have hands on your feet.
- [first lines]
- Gorilla Grodd: No mercy for the human slime, my simian warriors! We take this world today. Fight! Fight for Gorilla City and simian kind everywhere!
- [Mr. Mxyzptlk has just switched around the identities of the remaining Justice Leaguers]
- Mr. Mxyzptlk: [laughing uproariously] Oh, this is rich! I could play this game for millenia, if my tuckus didn't get tired.
- Professor Martin Stein: Interesting. Inappropriate laughter can be a symptom of hypomania.
- Mr. Mxyzptlk: What? Who said that?
- Professor Martin Stein: I did - Dr. Martin Stein... one half of the hero Firestorm.
- Mr. Mxyzptlk: How did you get in my head? Get out of here!
- Professor Martin Stein: Ohh. You're an anthropophamaniac. That's fear of other people. I begin to understand you.
- Mr. Mxyzptlk: What are you? A ghost of my shrink? Stop psychoanalyzing me!
- Professor Martin Stein: You sound like a hellenologophobamaniac. That's one who fears complex scientific terminology.
- Mr. Mxyzptlk: Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!
- Professor Martin Stein: Or perhaps you're a kltpzyxm!
- Mr. Mxyzptlk: Get this through your head! I'm not a hypomaniac, an anthropophamaniac, or an kltpzyxm. Oh, snap. I said it, didn't I.
- [by saying his name backwards, Mr. Mxyzptlk is instantly drawn back to the fifth dimension]