- [Matt Damon has inserted himself into Mark Ruffalo's interview]
- Himself - Host: It's The Mighty Thor, not the mighty *bore*!
- [Matt Damon has inserted himself into Mark Ruffalo's interview repeatedly]
- Matt Damon: [referring to Mark Ruffalo] This is what a *real actor* looks like.
- [Ruffalo nods]
- Matt Damon: Someone who *didn't* ride on Adam Carolla's coat tails, but who did it on his own!
- Himself - Host: Okay. Enough of that!
- [Matt Damon has inserted himself onto the Back Screen of Jimmy Kimmel Live!]
- Himself - Host: How are you doing that?
- Matt Damon: I hacked into the system. I've been waiting on this show for DECADES! I learned a few things.
- Chris Hemsworth: It's The *Martian*!
- Himself - Host: Just go back to your room and eat the doody potatoes we made for you.
- [Matt tries to chomp on Jimmy's head]
- Himself - Host: Quick! Put up the Screen Saver. Put up the *Emergency Screen Saver*!
- [the Back Screen now has a still from "Behind the Candleabra"]
- [Matt Damon has inserted himself into Mark Ruffalo's interview repeatedly]
- Matt Damon: I'm on the show!
- Himself - Host: You're *not* on the show.
- Matt Damon: I'm on the show!
- Himself - Host: This doesn't count as being on the show.