- Donnie: I gotta admit I didn't see this one coming.
- Nick Torres: Well, that makes two of us.
- Donnie: Though, in hindsight, it kind of makes sense. Your girlfriend was way out of your league. She's like a hard 10. You're like a soft 7.
- Nick Torres: Oh, she'll love to hear that.
- Nick Torres: I don't get made, Director. With all due respect.
- Leon Vance: And Gibbs just told you to report to the hospital.
- Ellie Bishop: Yeah but...
- Leon Vance: All due respect.
- Ellie Bishop: All right. Let's go, Muhammad.
- [Ellie and Nick leave the table]
- Leon Vance: [pause] Wait a minute, I'm Muhammad, right?
- [after posing as a call girl and her jealous ex-boyfriend]
- Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Any problems?
- Nick Torres: Well, aside from Bishop almost blowing up our cover, no, we're pretty good.
- Ellie Bishop: Excuse me?
- Nick Torres: You shouldn't have slapped his hand away.
- Ellie Bishop: I don't give out free samples! I got three kids to feed, and a sick Nana in Boca.
- [off Nick's look]
- Ellie Bishop: What? You told me to have a backstory, that's my backstory.
- Nick Torres: No, that's actually... that's actually pretty good.
- Ellie Bishop: Thank you.
- Timothy McGee: What's wrong with Nana?
- Ellie Bishop: Shingles.
- Leroy Jethro Gibbs: [deadpan] Condolences.