Roseanne (TV Series)
Roseanne Gets the Chair (2018)
Roseanne Barr: Roseanne Conner
Photos
Quotes
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Roseanne Conner : It's 11 o' clock. We slept from Wheel to Kimmel.
Dan Conner : We missed all the black and Asian shows.
Roseanne Conner : They're... just like us. There, we're caught up.
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Roseanne Conner : Did she just call you 'Darlene'?
Darlene Conner : Yeah, so what? I don't have a problem with that.
Jackie Harris : It's very modern, Roseanne. It allows the parents and the kids to communicate as equals.
Harris Conner-Healy : See you, Jackie.
Harris Conner-Healy : Call me 'Aunt Jackie', it's the only title I have.
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Dan Conner : There's no book on how to raise kids.
Darlene Conner : Yes there is, and there are literally thousands of them.
Roseanne Conner : Well yeah but it's not like they're just laying around somewhere that you can read them all for free.
Darlene Conner : Yes it is, there's a library 2 blocks from this house.
Dan Conner : There's a li-bary?
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Roseanne Conner : [sitting with Darlene on her bed looking at Harris's online accounts] Alright, let's see what we're dealing with here.
Dan Conner : Roseanne, it's one thing for Darlene to check up on her kid, but other people doing it is just snooping.
[excited girly voice]
Dan Conner : Move over, girls!
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Darlene Conner : What is your problem? I'd think you'd be thrilled, you're grandparents now, you're *free*, now would be a great time for you to learn how to use your phones!
Roseanne Conner : [smiling] THAT'S the old Darlene shining through.
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Becky Conner-Healy : Wait, you're going to wait until she's out of the shower to yell at her? Mom used to yell at us IN the shower.
Darlene Conner : Yeah, you were like that movie 'Psycho'. "Take out the trash!"
[makes stabbing noise]
Darlene Conner : Ree-ree-ree!
Roseanne Conner : Well at least Norman Bates respected his mother. Ree!
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Roseanne Conner : [to Harris] You're smart for a kid but you're *stupid* as a person.
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Harris Conner-Healy : What is your problem?
Roseanne Conner : My problem is you're acting like you own this house, and *we* don't even own this house.
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Roseanne Conner : How can I go upstairs to get my ice pack without my ice pack?
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Roseanne Conner : You think you're better than everyone else in this whole town, don't you?
Harris Conner-Healy : Do you *really* want me to answer that?
Roseanne Conner : I'll do it for you, YOU'RE NOT! You're smart for a kid but you're stupid as a person.