Roseanne (TV Series)

Dress to Impress (2018)

Roseanne Barr: Roseanne Conner

Photos 

Quotes 

• Andrea : I just have a few questions about your family's medical history. Mrs. Conner, did all of your children's deliveries go according to your birth plan?

  Roseanne Conner : Ummm, they found their way out, if that's what you mean.

• Roseanne Conner : [addressing Mark's class]  Hi, everybody. Eyes up here! Um, I'm Mrs. Conner, and, uh, this is my grandson, Mark. He's just starting school here today, which is very cool 'cause all my other kids went here and they continue to lead crime-free lives. I think you guys are really gonna like Mark 'cause he is a lot of fun, and he's very fashionable. Sometimes he wants to wear a dress or a real fancy top. I think he's gonna grow up and be a fashion designer, a really famous one like, uh, T. J. Maxx or... or that Ross guy. So I'm counting on you guys to make the new kid feel welcome. And if you don't, I have ways of finding out about it. I'm a white witch.

• Becky Conner-Healy : She wants to meet you guys. She has questions about our family history.

  Darlene Conner : Oh? We have a family history? Mother, have you been keeping our glorious heritage from us?

  Roseanne Conner : Yep. All of our relatives died from alcoholism. The ones that didn't drink were killed by the ones who did.

• Becky Conner-Healy : I don't want Andrea to think that obesity runs in the family, so I'm getting rid of all the pictures where you guys were fat.

  Roseanne Conner : You can't do that, those are the only ones we look happy in.