- Greg Proops: [in "Hollywood Director", after yelling cut] I'm reminded of Shakespeare: "Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? No, because a summer day is not made of CRAP!"
- Colin Mochrie: Wow, I miss our old director.
- Greg Proops: Yes, he's retired now because he was so old.
- [audience oohs]
- Greg Proops: Walk it off, biatches.
- Aisha Tyler: [in "Scenes from a Hat"] "Pick-up lines on the farm."
- Greg Proops: Well, you're the cutest thing I've ever seen with two legs.
- Wayne Brady: Hey girl, what's up? I was just over there by the silo... and I couldn't help but notice you grazin'.
- Greg Proops: Hey, are we related?
- Ryan Stiles: [with drawl] I think we should plant some seeds.
- Wayne Brady: Oh, that's okay, baby. I don't mind a cockatoo.
- Ryan Stiles: [off-stage] What farm is THAT? Is that a jungle farm?
- Wayne Brady: No, a cock- cock a roosters.
- Colin Mochrie: Ohh, I see.
- Ryan Stiles: Ohh.
- Aisha Tyler: Wow, you have a really big tractor. Would you plow my back forty?
- Greg Proops: Looks like it's milking time!