- Happy: Stupid, stupid, stupid. I knew she didn't play with toys anymore. How could I be such a dummy? I got to regroup, get my head in the game. God knows the Harlem Globetrotters did not become the best baseball team in the world by dwelling on every single...
- [sucked out by the wind as Nick opens the car window]
- Happy: ...loss!
- Amanda Hansen: I was running late. Didn't have time for breakfast.
- Nick Sax: Huh?
- Amanda Hansen: You're taking her today, remember?
- Nick Sax: Like it was yesterday.
- Happy: It *was* yesterday.
- Amanda Hansen: It was yesterday.
- Happy: [rapping] I'm M.C. Happy, and I'm here to say/Hey, hey, we got Hailey all day.
- [as he imitates a record scratching, Nick swats him away]
- Hailey Hansen: Did you like being a cop?
- Happy: [Nick flashes back to beating on a suspect] Nick!
- Nick Sax: Too much paperwork.
- Happy: You promised, no gambling. You already broke one promise, Nick. Well... well, several, actually. Pretty much all of them.
- Hailey Hansen: I want to go in.
- Nick Sax: Nah, it'll just take me a minute. Don't move.
- Happy: You can't leave her in the car.
- Nick Sax: You're thinking of dogs in a heat wave. She'll be fine. You just make sure she stays put.
- Happy: So you're leaving both of us. I don't know what sucks eggs more, your dad game or your partner game.
- Scoot: [groaning his "safe word" in the background] Tallahassee.
- Smoothie: Pray tell?
- Scoot: [Smoothie presses a button, activating a machine that carries over Scoot, who is bound by his wrists and ankles to a hook and has been completely flayed alive, groaning] Kill me.
- Smoothie: [makes a face] The breath. Only a true friend would tell you.
- [Smoothie takes a mint and puts it in his mouth]
- Smoothie: There we go. Now, you listen to me. I have removed all the skin from your body. It is not a survivable condition. Fatal infection is inevitable if your heart doesn't shut down first. So, you see, I already have killed you.
- Scoot: Oh. Well, okay, then.
- Smoothie: The question is... how long? The answer is... precisely as long as I require. You see, I am not some grinning idiot clown, who's putting on a show for the YouTube crowd. I am a master craftsman.
- [goes to apply some antiseptic gel on him]
- Smoothie: I will determine your time of death down to the hour. The minute. The second. So, until then, and until precisely then...
- [smacks his skinned buttocks]
- Smoothie: ... hang in there, baby!