The Angry Video Game Nerd (TV Series)

Amiga CD32 (2018)

James Rolfe: The Angry Video Game Nerd, Self

Quotes 

• The Angry Video Game Nerd : If you're expecting me to make some kind of beaver joke, no, because this is high-class internet content. Now, enough of this poop-fuck-shit-diarrhea-cunt fuck!

• The Angry Video Game Nerd : After this, you gotta wash your hands because you could get Pinkeye from all this fecal matter.

• The Angry Video Game Nerd : I have to hold the thing down just to get the game to spin. What? Did I expect this thing to work? I don't even want to play this piece of shit... let alone one-handed!

• The Angry Video Game Nerd : There you go: The CD32 add-on: a paint can! What were they thinking? It's like the hillbilly cousin of the 32X.

• The Angry Video Game Nerd : Have they ever seen the fucking alphabet? Why not just call them A B C D? I'll just call them green, yellow, red and blue. So if you guessed the fire button is the red button, then you win a prize, and that prize is footage of the shittiest fighting game ever made!

• The Angry Video Game Nerd : Pliability? Oh you know, like health, energy, stamina... pliability.

• The Angry Video Game Nerd : Of all the games I've reviewed so far, there's only one game where up isn't the jump button, and it was a fighting game! The one game where jump should have been up!

• The Angry Video Game Nerd : In the first level, you just run to the other side of the room, and you're done. Yeah, imagine beating a level of Doom in ten seconds. But in the second level, you have to hit a switch before you can open the door. Ooh! Now, it's giving Doom a run for its money!

• The Angry Video Game Nerd : Gloom is a cheap knockoff that doesn't even succeed at being a knockoff.

• The Angry Video Game Nerd : It seems like every character was trying to be the CD32 mascot, but being the mascot of the CD32 is like being the mascot of a portapotty company. Actually, I take that back. It'd be better to be a portapotty mascot than to be a mascot of this piece of shit!

• The Angry Video Game Nerd : He's not quite Sonic, he's not quite Bubsy, he's just... Oscar.

• The Angry Video Game Nerd : Oh, and it's by Flair again. I guess they were the LJN of the CD32.

• The Angry Video Game Nerd : At the start of the game, you get the option of either music or sound effects. Uh... can't I have both?

• The Angry Video Game Nerd : If you were looking at shit, would you be talking about butterflies or something? No! We're looking at shit! We're talking shit!

• The Angry Video Game Nerd : This is historical. Never, not once, have I ever had a game where the instructions tell you, "By the way, this game is really fucked up! So you're gonna have to jump through all kinds of crazy hoops to get it to work!"

• The Angry Video Game Nerd : I thought I knew what bad games were! I thought I was prepared... but I was wrong!

• The Angry Video Game Nerd : The game character looks just as confused as I, and no matter what, I keep winning.

• The Angry Video Game Nerd : Here we go: Super Putty! Or... Look Out, It's Putty?

• The Angry Video Game Nerd : It looks like Doc Brown and Marty if they were cross-bred with the Minions.

• The Angry Video Game Nerd : Boy, is that jarring! It's like these games can't figure out if they want to be cartoony and cute or fucking horrifying.

• The Angry Video Game Nerd : Naughty Ones has scary ass music, but Gloom has happy ass music.

• The Angry Video Game Nerd : Take 69? Really? It's only the first level. They could have said Take 1, but no, they picked 69 on purpose.

• The Angry Video Game Nerd : Oh my God. Oh my God! It's actually good! Pretty good.