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Reviews
Nobi (1959)
Question or comment?
One person wrote: "To me it raises a question most Americans would rather avoid: If the Japanese military was so beaten down at this point in the war, why was it necessary to nuke Hiroshima?" This question is really a comment which reflects a certain pre-disposition. One answer is: because Japan had not yet surrendered and stopped fighting.
However, if the Japanese military was so beaten down at this point in the war why didn't the Japanese leaders stop the fighting and stop the suffering by stopping the war?
This criticism of the atomic bomb fails to recognize that no one knew in August 1945 when Japan would stop fighting. Also this approach seems not to recognize that even without an atomic bomb the fighting and dying would continue as long as the war continued, not only in Japan but in China and elsewhere. Even another two months of war (and conventional bombing and blockade) would have killed more people than died at Hiroshima AND Nagasaki combined.
a friend of DF NY
Kyûtî Hanî (2004)
Lighthearted Fun with Clunky Ending
Cutey Honey is a fun adaptation of the animated series into a live-action feature. There's not much depth here; characters are pretty simple and the acting is nothing special. Eriko Sato's main job is to look great, and she does. I'm not complaining here, I'm just forewarning any viewers who might be looking for something that takes itself seriously. Cutey Honey does not.
Well, it doesn't take itself seriously until the ending. The final showdown between the creepy Sister Jill and Honey features a awkwardly-toned message about love. It's a fine message but compared to free-wheeling silliness of the rest of the film, it feels very slow and uncomfortable. After all, this is a few minutes after a villain sings to Cutey Honey before a battle.
Despite the "downer" ending, I still had a lot of fun watching Cutey Honey, and I would recommend it to others who are willing to relax and enjoy it as well.
Oruchuban Ebichu (1999)
Funniest animation since Excel Saga
Oruchuban Ebichu is one of the funniest anime I've ever seen, certainly the funniest since "Excel Saga." What makes Ebichu even more appealing is the adult nature of the humor, coupled with the outrageous "cutesyness" of a talking hamster. I would also compare it to "Azumanga Daioh" in that the stories are very short, and there seems to be no sense of continuity, so one could watch the episodes in any order and not be confused.
It contains a lot of sexuality and sexual references but it's not pornography. It's far too silly and the art is much to "simple" to be erotic. Still, it's definitely not for children or anyone who can't handle puns involving genitalia. Highly recommended, although given the sexual content I doubt this will ever be imported to the United States.
Freddy Got Fingered (2001)
Gets Funnier Every Time I See It
A lot of people hate this movie and I can understand that. When I first saw it in theaters I didn't really get into it. I loved Tom Green's TV show but the film seemed too weird to enjoy. But that was then. Subsequent viewings have increased my respect for the movie immensely. One thing that I've noticed more is the great supporting cast. Tom is Tom; you either like him or you don't. But Rip Torn, Anthony Michael Hall, and Marisa Coughlin all perform very well. Harland Williams is always funny, although his role here is small.
Obviously this movie is for fans of Tom Green only. Some people are going to repulsed by animal ejaculate and gratuitous violence on a small boy. If you hate it, no big deal. But at this point, I love it.
Double Team (1997)
Absurd Yet Endearing
I've seen this film a number of times over the years. Call me mad, but it has a special place in my heart. Admittedly, the acting is awful, and I'm not just talking about Dennis Rodman. The script is ridiculous, full of clichéd references to "the game." And the fight sequences, arguably the only reason to watch the movie, are so dominated by stunt-doubles I wonder if Van Damme and Mickey Rourke ever met during filming.
Still, I love it. Maybe it's a case of "so bad it's good," maybe I'm just partial to Van Damme, or maybe it's because I still have that promotional "Double Team" baseball cap from working in a theater. But whenever this movie comes on cable I am compelled to watch.
For some reason, I'm compelled to drink Coke afterwards....?
Tôkyô goddofâzâzu (2003)
Unconventional Fun
I was able to see "Tôkyô Godfathers" at its premiere in New York. Sadly, the film was not added to the IMDb until months later, so I've had to sit on my comments for some time.
I'm a big fan of director Satoshi Kon. Both of his previous films feature stories and issues not normally seen in animated films. "Godfathers" continues this happy trend and goes even further by covering subjects not normally associated with Japan, period. Homelessness, immigrants, and homosexuality all play key elements in this tale.
Perhaps the biggest difference here is the comedy, something Kon's previous films did not approach. "Perfect Blue" was a dark thriller and "Sennen Joyû" was more of a tearjerker. "Godfathers" is played for laughs, which for me weakened the movie a little bit. Some of the more outrageous moments made the other theatergoers crack up, but I felt it was a little too silly at times.
While I would describe "Tôkyô Godfathers" as the weakest of Kon's three films to date, that's hardly a knock since his first two are among my favorites. "Godfathers" was just missing something, but I still openly recommend it to anyone, regardless of your disposition towards anime.
Pisutoru opera (2001)
Beautiful but Incomprehensible
I was eager to see "Pistol Opera" for a variety of reasons. I had recently seen "Branded to Kill" and the idea of a follow-up/sequel/remake by the same director intrigued me. Furthermore, I am a fan of the lead actress, Makiko Esumi, from her work on Japanese TV.
Sadly, this film goes nowhere...slowly. The plot seemed simple enough but within minutes I was lost. These "professional killers" spend nearly the entire film killing each other which begs the question who is employing these people and what purpose they serve. Lots of these scenes look wonderful and have some fun ideas, but nothing makes any sense. Characters deliver long, meandering soliloquies into the camera, flip-flopping from Japanese to English and back again. Neither language adds any clarity to the circumstances. The whole thing feels like some kind of experimental stage play, especially the final showdown where characters enter and exit bizarre scenery accompanied by strange, nearly naked dancers.
What the hell?
Kill Bill: Vol. 1 (2003)
Tremendous Experience, But Not For Everyone
"Kill Bill" is not going to entertain everybody. The movie is very violent, and that violence has graphic consequences. Horrible things happen to horrible people throughout. And much of the film refers to other movies, some of which you have seen but most of which you probably haven't. I saw several people leave the screening I attended, most of them early in the film before things got really "gross."
However, if movie violence doesn't overwhelm you, if you're not opposed to non-stop cinema references, and if you've ever fantasized about making a movie only you would fully "understand," then "Kill Bill" will thrill you. Nevermind the "half a movie" controversy, you'll get your money's worth from this "Volume 1 (of 2)."
Lost in Translation (2003)
Enjoyable but not Extraordinary
First off, I did enjoy Lost in Translation. All of the actors were great, especially Bill Murray (as usual) and Anna Faris. Bill is always funny, but it's great to see him not play Bill Murray for a change. And Anna is terrific as the vapid American actress. Some say she's playing Cameron Diaz, my mother thought of Kirsten Dunst, but her performance is so apropos she could be anyone. When is she going to get some recognition?
Having said that, I was disappointed by one running theme of the film. Here are two people in a foreign country, presumably for the first time, and they spend a great deal of time sitting in a hotel, bored to tears. Why? Why are they so morbidly bored by this fascinating, new environment? I know I'm a little biased because I've been to Japan and I loved it, but I can't imagine any (safe) place on Earth where I wouldn't want to spend all day seeing new things. Language barrier or not, there's a hell of a lot to see in Japan. Similarly, Japanese people are not portrayed very well in the film. There's a lot of stereotyping here, and while stereotypes are all grounded in reality, I would have liked to see something, someone, or anything, shown in a positive light.
But I can't deny the quality of the movie. When it goes for a laugh, it works. When they're just talking, the conversation is interesting. So while I don't see this movie as "great," I do recommend it.
Basic (2003)
Runaway Third Act
Despite all the horrible reviews written of "Basic," I decided to give it a chance as a rental because director John McTiernan has made several of my favorite movies. Admittedly, I haven't seen a good one of his since "Thomas Crown Affair" (a remake), but I hoped "Basic" would work on some enjoyable level.
It starts off quite well. John Travolta and Connie Nielsen are investigating a murderous incident at an Army base, and both of their witnesses are untrustworthy. Their stories go back and forth, eventually painting a picture of what "really" happened. It's all been done before, I suppose, but it's fun to watch.
Unfortunately, the movie derails late in the picture. After what seems like a perfectly good ending (I won't elaborate, but you'll see), the movie just keeps going. All of a sudden what "really" happened was fake, here's what "really" happened, or did it? The conclusion of the film is an absurd reversal of (nearly) every premise of the film. I half expected one of the characters to reveal themselves to be an alien or a vampire or some other Tales From the Crypt/Twilight Zone nonsense ending.
Much like "The Recruit," the script doesn't know when to quit with all the reversing. Thanks to the masterpiece film, "The Usual Suspects," now every dopey mystery has to have "the big surprise." And you can do that once, maybe twice in a story. But you can't press that "reset button" five or six times! If I spend 90 minutes watching a film, I've got to know that at least part of that story "really happened." You can't wash it all away with "that guy was lying." No wonder Entertainment Weekly titled their review "Trashomon."
P.S. If you watch the film on DVD, there is a really funny extra segment with the screenwriter. Besides reading his own writing on camera, he explains with incredible arrogance how original his story and characters were. So pompous it's hilarious!
Gin gwai (2002)
As Frightening as Advertised
"The Eye" is a good horror movie. It's good because it will scare you just as horror movies should. It is not overtly gory nor does it contain anyone hurting anyone else. It's just a simple story with lots of frightening scenes lurking around the corner. You'll probably be reminded of "The Sixth Sense," but don't dismiss this as an Asian carbon copy of that film. The two film's may have a similar premise but they are quite different in story and feel.
I feel compelled to mention the Japanese movie "Ring" even though there is nothing to link the two films other than the Asian/Horror connection. Hopefully you are a moviegoer who is not a stranger to subtitles. So if you liked "Ring" and you made the effort to import the film, grab "The Eye." It works.
Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines (2003)
Pleasant Sequel, Nothing More
T3 could not expect to live up to its predecessors, so it doesn't bother trying. Instead, it pushes the action over the top (sometimes WAY over) and adds a welcome feeling of levity to much of the picture. This creates a sort of "cartoon" feeling to the movie, and depending on your tastes that is a good thing or a bad thing.
Personally, I had a great time and I would recommend the film. But no, it's not as good as the first two Terminator movies.
Equilibrium (2002)
A "Plan 9" amalgam of familiar Sci-fi
As "Equilibrium" drew to a close, I realized I was all wrong about the film. I had thought it was an illogical sci-fi mess with all the major story elements borrowed (some might say stolen) from very well known movies/stories/books. The list of works from which "Equilibrium" has borrowed is gigantic; I'll only mention "Harrison Bergeron" because I didn't see anyone write that yet.
Of course, "borrowing" ideas is not unusual in film at all. "The Matrix," a movie I (and many, many other people) love, compiled different pieces from countless stories/films/myths around the world. The difference between "Equilibrium" and "Matrix" is variety. "Matrix" featured concepts from different movies in different genres, most of which were unknown to mainstream audiences. The result was an original creation. "Equilibrium," on the other hand, only regurgitates familiar science-fiction ideas, including "Matrix." The result feels like a copy of a copy of a copy: dull and painfully predictable.
But I digress, I realized late in the picture I had it all wrong. This is not a serious movie! The premise is ridiculous, the action is way over the top, and the script is full of absurd buzz words like "Grammaton" and "Gunkata." After borrowing themes from so many other pictures, "Equilibrium" is best enjoyed as a big budget "Plan 9 from Outer Space," as the finished product is so terrible it is actually hilarious.
The Animatrix (2003)
Superior to "Reloaded"
After loving the original "Matrix" film and hating the recent "Reloaded," my enthusiasm for "Animatrix" was somewhere between curiosity and contempt. "Reloaded" was so slow and empty I hesitated to explore the "Matrix" concept any further as a possible waste of time. Well, the good news is that "Animatrix," while far from perfect, is much more interesting than "Reloaded" as it explores the original concept rather than try to act as a sequel.
"The Animatrix" is a collection of animated short stories, each one independent of the others. Each tale has its own interesting twist and can be enjoyed in any order (except for the two-part episode, obviously). The stories are based on the original "Matrix" film so if you haven't seen the sequel(s), don't worry. The segments are (in no particular order):
"Final Flight of the Osiris" This is a CGI animated story that is a prelude to the story of "Reloaded." While I'm not a big fan of 3D computer animation, it was actually quite good and I think it should have been filmed and included in "Reloaded." It would have made a much more exciting introduction.
"Program" This was a very brief but an exciting battle between two humans in the Matrix. As they fight they argue over the merits of the fight against the Machines. The ending is a bit of a cop-out but the story is still cool.
"The Second Renaissance" This is a two-part story that explains the war between Man and the Machines. Morpheus gives a brief overview of this story in the original "Matrix" film but "Renaissance" actually details why the war began. This was my favorite part of the "Animatrix," although its armageddon-like tale is a little depressing. It also features GRAPHIC VIOLENCE which will shock most viewers, so be prepared. Still, it is a fascinating explanation.
"World Record" This was a fun idea but artistically I was unimpressed. The characters' features and motions were so wildly exaggerated that it feels ridiculous. Could have been better.
"Kid's Story" This is another story which sets up an element of "Reloaded." It is brief and fun to watch, but not much goes on here.
"Detective Story" I would have enjoyed this piece a lot more if it hadn't been so rushed. The story is interesting but it begins and ends so quickly it's actually not that good. A shame.
"Beyond" This was a cool idea and I enjoyed it. It didn't have much to say but as a short film it was good.
"Matriculation" This is probably the weakest segment as it serves up mostly eye candy and little content. There is an interesting concept behind the action but most of the time you're just staring at wild colors and patterns.
While inconsistent I enjoyed "The Animatrix" and I recommend it. I would have liked to see "The Second Renaissance" and "Detective Story" expanded into feature length films (or at least hour-long OVAs).
The Matrix Reloaded (2003)
Disappointing at Best
Let me begin by saying the first Matrix movie is one of my favorites. I wasn't looking for anything shockingly new, but I had high hopes for Reloaded. And the movie never comes through.
First off, the first half of the film takes place in Zion. Does that sound interesting? Well, it's not. Endless stretches of awkward conversations and exposition, all of it moving at a snail's pace. Remember how the first movie, even though it had a lot to explain, made it seem exciting none the less? Well this story isn't interesting. And they spend 10-15 minutes in some kind of massive dance. Ugh.
The good news is Reloaded picks up and starts to remind you of why you paid $10 to see this picture. Once Neo meets Smith in their well-publicized clash, the movie becomes very energetic and well-paced. That sequence, along with the freeway stuff, pays off as expected. But does half of a really cool movie make up for the awful half? I say no.
One of the most disappointing sequels I've seen. The parallels to Phantom Menace and Back to the Future II are remarkable.
Adorenarin doraibu (1999)
Just A Bit Too Far Fetched
I have to give "Adrenaline Drive" a lot of credit. There were a lot of amusing moments and the numerous shifts in alliances was unexpected. But the central characters of the movie, a young couple, didn't work for me at all. First of all, neither character was very bright. Why would you steal a load of money and then "hide" in a glamorous hotel, making phone calls and telling people where you are? Furthermore, the young man was a walking doormat. It's very irritating to watch a movie centered around a guy who is a pushover. Most of the film he is being pushed around by everyone he comes in contact with, including the young nurse who is the one person you'd think he'd manage to stand up to. Speaking of the nurse, she naturally goes through one of those magical "makeovers" where a pretty girl wearing glasses transforms into a beautiful one with contact lenses.
And I had a lot of trouble accepting how much these people accomplished while seriously injured. The guy nearly breaks his leg in the early accident yet is able to outrun a pack of Yakuza thugs? The gangster manages to survive THREE major, life-threatening events and within a week or two he's merely on crutches, fighting with people. By the end of the film I was just waiting for the end. I won't say I hated it but I can't recommend it either.
Yume (1990)
Kurosawa's Best? Probably.
The more I think about Dreams the less I know how to review it. Simply put, I was glued to this film, unable to turn away for a second and reluctant to speak else I obscure some quiet sound effect. The separate stories range from beautiful to horrible, as some dreams are nightmares.
Out of print on video for years, the film just came out on DVD. So rent it now. Do it. Better yet, buy it. I'm still in awe of this film 24 hours later. Blown away, I guess.
Big Trouble (2002)
Big Pile of Crap
An all-star cast of reasonably talented actors have nothing to work with in this dreadfully unfunny cliche of a film. Every single character is a stupid person, and the two stupidest of the bunch spend most of the film holding the rest of the cast hostage. Endless one-liners drove me to boredom, including the oldest line about "is that a gun in your pocket?" Ugh.
On the bright side, the actress playing the daughter in the film is quite a looker. But this movie is not worth a rental. I wouldn't recommend watching it on cable either. Skip it.
Star Trek: Nemesis (2002)
Stick a Fork in Star Trek
Let me state, for the record, that I have loved Star Trek for most of my life. "The Next Generation" is still one of my favorite TV shows, thanks to enduring cable exposure. Traditionally, the ST films alternate good/bad. Star Trek II, IV, VI, and First Contact were very good, but parts I, III, V, Generations and Insurrection were not that good, with part V being the outright worst outing ever. Logically, this meant Nemesis should have been an upswing. Sadly, it is mediocre at best, which in my opinion sounds the death knell for Star Trek.
The largest problem here is, like Insurrection, the antagonist simply isn't intimidating in the slightest. Besides being skinny and bald, he spends a majority of the film sitting down or doubled over in pain (why I won't say, for "spoilers" sake). His alien subordinates look more intimidating, but don't really DO anything scary. One of them seems kind of psychic, but that is never really explained for any reason.
Speaking of "no explanation," I found the new android to be ludicrous. Without giving anything away, the "other Data" you see in the commercials is a walking plot hole whose every action is a forgone conclusion. When I saw Brent Spiner (the actor who plays Data) had a writing credit, I knew who was responsible too. Data does a lot of ridiculous things in the film, the least of which is sing Irving Berlin's "Blue Skys."
I'm not the die-hard Star Trek fan I once was, and movies like Nemesis show me why. It's just not very good, certainly not worth price of admission. If you want to enjoy a 40-year old franchise, go see James Bond in Die Another Day. Now that movie had a bald bad guy, and it worked! ^_^
Die Another Day (2002)
Ultimately Effective
Bond movies are, at their heart, all the same now after 40 years, so you know what to expect going in. The plot's not going to be surprising, and the dialogue can be a little cheesy at times. Accepting all these as "given," I really enjoyed Die Another Day. The North Korean setting is all the more chilling due to recent world events. The action scenes had some new innovations, including two energetic swordfights and a spy-car duel in Iceland. Halle Berry did a good job as Bond's American counterpart, so much so that it seems she's due for her own movies! And the other lady was really very appealing as well (forgot her name, the blonde). The biggest speed bump was Madonna's awkward cameo. You'd think after appearing in films for almost 20 years she'd have mastered simple line delivery.
Mulholland Dr. (2001)
Frustrated and Confused
Like most, I rented this after I heard the universal praise. And despite COUNTLESS bizarre, unexplainable moments along the way, I was very interested and entertained through 100 minutes of the film. Then the two women went to the "performance" late at night. The rest of movie (which is another 40 minutes by the way) is even WEIRDER than the first part AND completely contradict and dump on what I had already seen. Then the movie abruptly ends.
Baffled, I wandered over to my computer to see if I could buy a clue as to what just happened. Nothing made sense, and I'm a pretty clever guy. None of these other user comments made sense, even when they say "SPOILERS." I still have no idea what they're saying. Someone's dream? Not real? Then what's the point of a 2 hour 30 minute movie if it's "not real?" Or is it real? I'm forced to make a choice. Either:
[a] The movie is a work of genius on a MENSA level and I'm simply too stupid to understand it.
The movie is weird for weird's sake and just doesn't make sense. Everyone who loves it is trying to save face and pretend like they "get" it.
I choose . Screw you guys, I'm going home...
Vulgar (2000)
The Title Says It All
In hindsight, I don't know what I expected when I rented this, but I suppose I should have known better. The film is "vulgar," plain and simple, though you could also call it "disgusting," "disturbing," "stomach-churning," or even "unwatchable."
I guess I tried to watch it because I love "Clerks" (1994) and since the Askew-crew was involved I expected a certain level of quality. Well, the dialogue is Kevin Smith-esque but the events which occur in this film are horrible. It's a comedy for the first 10 minutes, then it seems more like a drama, and then it's "Deliverance" except there's no one to root for.
And let me take time to mention that this is BAD acting. When it feels like people are reading lines of a page, that's BAD. When the characters are as one-dimensional as the script they're printed on, that's BAD. When every single character in the film (right down to the waitress in the "posh" diner) is COMPLETELY unrealistic, that's BAD. Brian O'Halloran tries his hardest (A for effort, by the way) but this isn't gym class.
Please don't see this movie, not even as a rental. The only reason there aren't OVERWHEMINGLY negative reviews for this flick is because most people choose to ignore it. How I wish I done the same.
Death to Smoochy (2002)
Bah! Be More Funny!
There's "dark comedy" and then there's just "dark." If I'm not laughing, then there's no comedy. Danny DeVito is a good director but there are a lot of bad choices made in "Death To Smoochy." Robin Williams isn't funny anymore, indeed, some argue that he never was to begin with. His character comes across as a maniac BEFORE he falls from grace...how did acquire the delicate position of children's show host in the first place? Ed Norton does a great job but his character is so illogically one-dimension it's more pitiful than amusing. Why is he so shockingly naive? What does that have to do with being a children's entertainer? Or a health-food nut? A funny script would let me overlook stuff like this, but that's no where to be found.
Ringu (1998)
Overrated yet Effective
Public comments (as well as the DVD cover) will sell this film as the "scariest film since The Exorcist" or "makes The Blair Witch Project look timid" and so on. So I watched it at home, alone, with the lights out for the best possible horror film atmosphere. I'm sorry to say, but Ringu doesn't scare like that. Ringu is a solid, compelling, and creepy film that works, but I can't say I was ever frightened. Attentive? Fascinated? Sure, but not frightened. I do recommend the film if you can rent it (or buy it for less than $20) as the story is original and the last ten minutes are very cool.