AlabamaWorley1971 Reviews

The Final Girls (2015)

Funny and poignant love letter to 80s slashers

[7/10 · 26 September 2023]

Very funny love letter to 80s teen slasher flicks, and still amazingly poignant. Joshua John Miller - son of actor and playwright Jason Miller, best known for The Exorcist - wrote this to deal with his feelings after his father's fatal heart attack.

Young Max (Taissa Farmiga) has been in a daze ever since her beloved mother, former scream queen Amanda, was killed in a car accident. Her friend's geeky stepbrother talks her into making an appearance at an anniversary screening of her mom's one big film. Suddenly Max and her friends are catapulted into the film. While everyone tries to escape the masked killer stalking the woods, Max is connecting with "her mom" in a way she never could before. Can Max save her this time? A real unexpected pleasure.

The Funhouse Massacre (2015)

Disgusting dumb fun

[6/10 · 15 May 2023]

Everyone in this film totally understands the assignment and is having a good time. The special effects are suitably disgusting. I wish Candice de Visser had been given more to do than just be B-movie Harley Quinn on crack, but she does fine. Has quite a few cute boys especially Matt Angel and Ben Begley. Jere Burns is looking great and being excellent as "Jesus Manson." Definitely written by horror fans with a love and sense of humor about their genre. The dialogue sometimes goes a bit far to get the joke, but overall it's good dumb bloody fun. I liked this more than I thought I would. Happy Halloween!

Silent Witness: Hope: Part 2 (2020) Season 23, Episode 8

I wish Liz Carr had gotten a less silly story around her amazing performance

[8/10 · 4 April 2023]

Clarissa (Liz Carr) can't decide what to do about her mother who's been living with Alzheimer's and now is suffering with aggressive pancreatic cancer. The treatment is making her mum very ill and unhappy, and Clarissa wonders about her quality of life. It's a serious issue many of us may need to cope with, and Liz Carr handles the emotional depths with great aplomb. It's a shame her tour de force performance is wrapped around this bizarre story of baby-stealing, cryogenics, and skeletons walled up in carparks. So sorry, Liz, you deserved a better more serious story to pair with your powerful delivery.

Murder in Suburbia (2004–2005)

Very bingeable, great chemistry between Catz and Faulkner

[7/10 · 10 January 2023]

DI Ashurst and DS Scribbins, a.k.a. Ash and Scribbs, are pals and detectives in the northern community of Middleford. Each episode is about 50 mins long, and it's totally bingeable. The women have terrific chemistry and are very funny. They're also both very single, and a LOT of time is spent talking about men, dating, ragging on the guys they're dating, wondering why they can't find anyone to date. To complicate matters, they both have huge crushes on their boss, the admittedly dishy DCI Sullivan, but are smart enough to not risk THAT HR complication. I slightly preferred more episodes in S2 than S1, but it's a decently amusing watch if you don't get tired out by all the single ladies talk.

Nutcracker Massacre (2022)

Ho ho no

[4/10 · 26 November 2022]

Really wanted to like this one, as I love both the Nutcracker and hilarious horror comedies. But sadly this is not hilarious. Barely managed a smirk. I did like that the protagonist is named Clara, and her aunt is named Marie (the two versions of the lead character in the ballet, depending on whether you're watching the original or the French production). In between kills - there's one good one where an unfortunate young man finds out who really put the cracking in a nutcracker - the story is very dull, and the pacing is terrible. Not even worth putting on in the background while you deck the halls. It's lovely to see Patrick Bergin again, and he's aging nicely, but his character is relegated to just being the mysterious toymaker who drops exposition.

Murder, She Wrote: Benedict Arnold Slipped Here (1988) Season 4, Episode 18

A particularly fun Cabot Cove episode

[8/10 · 1 April 2022]

A resident of Cabot Cove and owner of an allegedly Revolutionary-era home dies in her sleep. Jessica is appointed executor and has to contend with crooked antiques dealers, a light-fingered cleaning lady, and a British Benedict Arnold devotee. Jessica proves once again that she's one of the least dotty denizens of her small town.

Waking the Dead: Undertow: Part 2 (2005) Season 5, Episode 10

Boyd really goes off the deep end

[6/10 · 8 February 2022]

Boyd really goes nuts here and almost drowns a suspect in a bathroom. No matter how much vengeance might be satisfying, YOU CAN'T DO THAT IN REAL LIFE. Shouting at victims and wives of suspects is one (terrible and ridiculous) thing, but this is a new low.

12 Hour Shift (2020)

Dark bloody fun

[7/10 · 8 March 2021]

Who knew that going into business with your idiot cousin (by marriage) selling organs you've harvested from dead hospital patients could go SO wrong? The great Angela Bettis goes through the weirdest bloodiest nurse's shift ever, complete with Y2K prep, an escaped convict, and a gangster (in a straight turn by wrestler Mick Foley) who wants the damn kidney he paid for and he don't much care who it comes from. This pitch black comedy thriller never takes its foot off the gas. Standout performances throughout, especially Ms. Bettis, as always, and British Chloe Farnworth doing a pretty great Southern fried moron as Regina. Saw it on Hulu in the U.S.

Relic (2020)

Slow burn realistic family drama that roils into breathtaking ending

[8/10 · 15 November 2020]

The movie starts with a realistic and all too familiar premise: Kay (Emily Mortimer)'s elderly mother Edna (Robyn Nevins) hasn't been seen in a few days, so Kay and her own daughter Sam (Bella Heathcote) go home to look for her. There's signs that Edna might be getting worse than just "getting a little forgetful." There's rotten fruit in a bowl on a table, and little notes all over the house as reminders to do basic tasks. When Edna reappears, Kay begins to not be able to tell if she's slipping into dementia or something more sinister.

The last 20 minutes had me absolutely riveted and holding my breath from the tension. The movie is carried ably mostly by these three actresses, who take a common family drama element and add much more. If you liked the found footage film THE TAKING OF DEBORAH LOGAN, this is a much more stylish and brooding version of a similar idea.

The Sacrament (2013)

Upsetting

[7/10 · 19 October 2020]

I'm not sure how reviewers dismissing this as overly conventional could not have been affected on some level by this film.

What must have being at Jonestown been like? Mothers watching their own children choking. The dawning realization that they may have made a bad choice. The will of a narcissistic personality like The Father to compel people to do such a thing. This film makes it real.

They're Watching (2016)

The dark side of HGTV

[7/10 · 22 August 2020]

I've long thought that the cable home renovation shows would make for great found footage horror/satire. And here's one that does it right! Likable group of crew members accompany horrible host to Moldova, to film the renovation of an old farmhouse out in the middle of nowhere. You'll just love what she's done to the place...especially the basement! Great good fun.

Law & Order: Missing (2002) Season 12, Episode 14

My response to earlier review -- CONTAINS SPOILERS

[8/10 · 28 May 2013]

I just watched this episode yesterday, and here's what I think: I think the defendant did say "take care of it" to his buddy Mickey Bastone. I think Mickey took it upon himself to kill the poor girl. Maybe the defendant meant him to, maybe he didn't. What the wife did TIPPED THE BALANCE towards making him look complicit in soliciting the murder. There was no hard evidence until the wife produced the bank withdrawal slip.

This episode is inspired by the real-life disappearance and murder of Chandra Levy, an intern who was having an affair with a congressman back in the '90s. The congressman was NEVER implicated in Ms. Levy's death.

Séance (2006)

Well, I liked it!

[7/10 · 11 February 2011]

Found this on FearNet and decided to take a chance. I was pleasantly surprised by a cast who I kinda liked and thought were cute, some genuinely creepy atmosphere, actual suspense, and some real chills. Maybe you have to have the right mood & setting for this movie to work: late at night, home alone, seems to really help! It's not a hugely original movie, but what it does it does well. (Jesus, I really need a minimum of 10 lines? What a pain in the ass. Okay...) AJ Lamas is very cute and has a lot of personality. I liked our heroine Lauren and her friend Malina; Alison didn't really get a whole lot to do. I always wondered what happened to Adrian Paul. He seems to be aging nicely, and shows real menace as Spence. The little girl tries hard to be spooky without directly copying from THE RING, and she mostly succeeds. I love when she brings back the Ouija board planchette. All in all, a cheaply made movie that doesn't break new ground story-wise, but delivers a few chills satisfyingly.

Criminal Minds: Tabula Rasa (2008) Season 3, Episode 19

A most interesting idea

[8/10 · 9 January 2010]

If a killer wakes from a coma with no memory of his crimes, is he still guilty? That's the intriguing premise at the heart of this episode. Hotch, Reid and Morgan come back to a case they had pursued 4 years before. The suspect fell off a building and was in a coma. (The suspect is played by the same actor who plays Radzinsky in LOST!) Now he's woken up, and the DA is ready to prosecute. EXCEPT the suspect has no memories at all, especially of the murders he committed. The case has to go forward, with key witnesses dead or moved away, and very little evidence.

One of the victim's fathers (whom I will always remember as Brenda and Brandon's dad on 90210) is desperately seeking justice for his daughter. He and Reid bonded 4 years before. Reid worries that the father is becoming unhinged. Their scenes together are wonderful, and shows how empathetic Reid has become as he's matured.

The highlight for me is Hotch testifying about the science of behavioral profiling, which the defense lawyer is trying to paint as pseudo-science. Hotch brutally tears away the lawyer's image. A buzzing Blackberry has never seemed so funny before.

The actor playing the killer is terrific as well. He forms a relationship with one of the guards after he wakes. Could he have done this before? Is he really a different man than the one who murdered those girls? And if so, should he be punished? All very thoughtful and interesting stuff.

Law & Order: Great Satan (2009) Season 20, Episode 3

"You were supposed to be on top of this!" Um, nooooo...

[8/10 · 18 October 2009]

A great episode with lots of twists and turns. Actor Ben Youcef as Sameer is excellent. But when their case goes pear-shaped after a revelation in court, the cops jump on informant Sameer and tell him, "You were supposed to be on top of this!" Um, NO, guys. Sameer is a 23-year-old kid, and YOU are the cops. And Lupo's supposed to have all this experience from 4 years overseas. Why weren't YOU guys watching the suspect in question more closely? I'm kind of enjoying season 20 so far, but everybody's brains seem to have checked out. Lupo is making REALLY UNSMART decisions, between last week's getting involved with a witness and this week's operation getting away from him. Come on, guys, you're generally smarter than this.

Best line: when the FBI agent is told about Lupo's service overseas, he asks, "What were you doing?" Lupo smiles. "You don't have clearance." (Bernard, Connie, and Cutter grin.)

Law & Order: Matrimony (1997) Season 7, Episode 13

Ms. Bareikis is terrific

[8/10 · 5 May 2009]

This episode was my first introduction to the exotically-named yet All-American-looking Arija Bareikis. She plays Kim Triandos, the drastically younger wife of a Manhattan philanthropist. Turns out she had conspired with Triandos' financial adviser to meet and marry him, and get his will changed in her favor. But did she murder her husband and hasten getting her hands on her inheritance? This is a terrific episode of the classic series, with an interesting story, a good red herring lead, and featured performances by Broadway stalwart Boyd Gaines and Anna Holbrook, a frequent guest star. She's fantastic as Kim's mom who came to help her "get settled after her marriage" and stayed on for over a year. She has the best line towards the end of the episode; I won't give it away here and spoil it for you. But Ms. Bareikis is charming and even a little flirty with Ray. She genuinely seems to have liked her poor old husband too, which adds a nice level of complexity to her character.

Paranoia (1997)

Last 10 minutes of film almost redeem the first 80

[5/10 · 15 November 2006]

To be honest, I mostly rented this to get a glimpse of one of my favorite almost-completely-unknown actors, Stephen Gevedon. After the first few minutes of truly horrendous dialog, I watched it on fast-forward until Stephen appeared! But one thing I will give this movie: it has a twist ending that's actually GOOD, makes sense, and works well. Ms. Bako is very beautiful and does her best with the aforementioned bad dialog. Sally Kirkland tries her best, but does not succeed very well. Larry Drake does his "I'm not Benny from L.A. LAW" serial killer thing. (This is not a spoiler; he is on the poster brandishing a big ol' knife.) I wish I could give this 2 1/2 stars on Netflix, but your choices are only 2 or 3, so I gave it 2.

Bruce Almighty (2003)

Sweet!

[8/10 · 14 February 2004]

A sweet fun movie, great date movie. It doesn't push any particular religious agenda, just a general "be nice to people, think about others" attitude. It's kind of too bad that it's got some language and sexual situations, because it would be good for kids and parents to talk about God stuff. Jim Carrey is really a fine comic actor, and I like Jennifer Aniston the more I see her (outside of FRIENDS). Rated 8 out of 10.

Juggernaut (1974)

Amazing cast!

[8/10 · 28 December 2003]

How about this cast, huh? Anthony Hopkins, Richard Harris, David Hemmings, Ian Holm, and Omar Sharif, all at the top of their game, in this thrilling adventure. It's a touch dated (I think the bomber only asks for a million pounds), but well-paced and well-made. Great stuff!

Mister Magoo's Christmas Carol (1962 TV Movie)

Grand adaptation of the Dickens classic

[8/10 · 13 December 2003]

The old (roasted) chestnut A CHRISTMAS CAROL gets a musical treatment. I'm not entirely sure why it's Magoo playing Scrooge, because he plays the character straight (none of the typical blind gags), but it works well! The music is excellent and such a welcome change from regular Christmas hits. I love it!

28 Days Later (2002)

Fan-farking-tastic

[8/10 · 17 July 2003]

One of the most unnerving and engaging movies of the year, not just the best wide-release horror flick of '03. It just bowled me over. I love the immediacy of how it's shot on video. It's terrifying and intelligent. It doesn't have any dramatic voiceovers to tell you what's going on. You have to figure out a lot of it on your own. It drags a *tiny* bit in the middle but then swings right back. It will remind horror fans of OMEGA MAN and NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD, but in many ways it's completely original. 8 out of 10.

44 Minutes: The North Hollywood Shoot-Out (2003 TV Movie)

Cliched dialogue cannot blunt the impact of the violence

[7/10 · 24 June 2003]

**Spoiler: Some small aspects of the plot may be revealed below**

I'm all in favor of films that applaud the dangerous life of cops, and so I thought I would like this. The dialogue is the worst collection of cliches ("This is the job, and when you gotta go, you gotta do it", etc.). Except for Mario Van Peebles' character, who has some heartfelt moments where you feel like you're watching a documentary with a real cop. Where the film excels though is making the violence seem realistic and devastating. I thought I was pretty desensitized to movie violence, but every shot from the automatic weapons resonates and is terrifying. Scenes where a dentist's office across the STREET is riddled with bullet holes really drives home the point. And it makes the cops seem even braver for facing two armed men with Kevlar and machine guns without automatic weapons of their own. Mute the dialogue, and you'll be OK.

Finding Nemo (2003)

Just about perfect!

[9/10 · 2 June 2003]

Where to begin? The beautiful ocean special effects? The fantastic vocal performances by Albert Brooks and Ellen Degeneres? The thrilling fast-paced story? The grand musical score? Little touches like a Buzz Lightyear doll on the floor of the dentist's office, or lobsters that talk with a Maine accent? Whew! It's amazing!

Wonder Boys (2000)

Nice!

[8/10 · 22 May 2003]

I enjoy action and horror movies as much as the next freak, but sometimes I enjoy a warm character-driven drama comedy. And I really enjoyed this. A distinctly unglamorous Michael Douglas is forced to face the threads of his unraveling life during a weekend complicated by a soon-to-be ex-wife, a pregnant mistress, an editor desperate for a new hit, a self-destructive genius student, and a blind dead dog. Best lines include Katie Holmes' generous assessment of Douglas' 2600+ page opus and practically everything Tobey Maguire says. What a nice movie. You may not want to show it to your mom, but it'd be perfect for sitting around with friends. (8/10)

Vampires: Los Muertos (2002)

Wow, didn't suck nearly as much as I thought it would!

[7/10 · 8 April 2003]

To a certain extent, I actually liked this film better than the original VAMPIRES. I found that movie to be quite misogynistic. As a woman and a horror fan, I'm used to the fact that women in peril are a staple of the genre. But they just slap Sheryl Lee around way too much. In this movie, Natasha Wagner is a more fully-realized character, and the main bad guy is a gal! Arly Jover (who played a sidekick vamp in BLADE) is very otherworldly and deadly. Jon Bon Jovi... okay, yeah, no great actor, but he does OK. At least he doesn't start to sing. Catch it on cable if you can. It's on Encore Action this month.