Carrot-4 Reviews

The Descent (2005)

And the acting saves the day!

[6/10 · 21 June 2006]

Like I do all the time when I hear about a new independent horror film that has critics and festival-goers amazed, I got my hopes up.

In this one, a group of British girls looking for kicks go caving in new-england and they have a great time until they start being hunted by cave-monsters. As you can see, the premise isn't too original but, hey, we're talking horror film here. The problem here isn't the premise, it's pretty much everything else; first, the movie takes it's time to start, now, usually that doesn't bother me, actually i like it when you get to know and like the characters before they get ripped apart, but they only really develop 2 of the characters so, when people start dying, it's like free gory deaths but you don't actually feel for the characters. Also, the fact that the movie is set in a pitch black environment could have been a real plus but after you see the first 3 or 4 monsters, you start seeing them all the time and really take a good look at them so, after a while they're not really scary anymore not even creepy, just gross. The only moments you're not sure of what you're seeing is during action/fight scenes, which is quite annoying. The techniques used to scare you are pretty lame too, like the "I'll make you jump so many times you'll have to be scared" and the "pan to the left, then pan to the right, then to the left, then to the right, then to the left and BOOM! Big Scary Monster!" and so on. The last 15 minutes didn't make much sense to me either it just seemed like "Rambo vs. the Cave-Monsters: The All Girl Version" with a twist ending that wasn't necessary at all.

So, what did I like? Well, apart from the acting, not much, but the acting was definitely great, kudos to all the girls for pulling this one off because they really save the film. Really, I must say, the mood wasn't very good, the action either, but the acting WOW! Subtle, always on the mark, no useless girly screaming, no overacting, great panicking... Seriously, I hope you girls read this comment to make yourselves feel better because I AM AMAZED!

So, in 25 words or less: like Aliens underground with an all girl cast without guns with less budget and not as good... so, not really like Aliens after all...

Lie with Me (2005)

Running on empty

[2/10 · 28 September 2005]

Lie with me is the story of a girl who likes sex, and a guy who also likes sex and all the empty emotions that flow around them... that's pretty much it.

I couldn't even say that the plot goes downwards since it doesn't go anywhere at all. There is about one thing happening in this film and it's sex; there is no intrigue, or none that's worth being intrigued by anyway, except for "will this ever end!".Very long moments could have been cut off the movie and, in the same way, some moments could have benefited from being longer. The main characters are empty, underdeveloped and we can't feel anything for them because they're too busy having sex and that, to me, is just not interesting. As for the secondary characters, they're not even developed at all, there are many of them and they could just as well have not been there; again, not enough of the good or interesting stuff and too much of the boring empty stuff.

Another problem this movie has is it's half-ass poetic narration, it feels as tough the girl tries to say something of importance but you soon realize that she's always saying the same thing, questioning herself about life, love... and she isn't that good an actress, she looked to me like a model turned actress more than an actress, like in a bad Antonioni film, actually this would pretty much resume what I think of this movie: a lousy Antonioni film with nothing but sex and bad actresses.

From what I've heard, it's been selected in many film festivals and I don't understand why. See it, write what you think because, well, I'm kinda lost...

The Patriot (2000)

Watch out Jim Carrey, this is the comedy of the summer !!!

[4/10 · 29 June 2000]

Very funny movie. I thought the idea of a man who has done some bad things in the past even though he is good was brilliant. Gibson gives a dark yet sarcastic look at that character which gives the movie a weird comic twist. Jason Isaacs is great in the role of the bad guy, he is so Machiavellian he made me think of Dr. Evil. And let us not forget Heath Ledger who brings us back to back laughs with his sweet performance.

But perhaps the funniest moment of the film belongs to Lisa Brenner when she tells people to join the army, I was laughing my guts out in the theater.

Overall very humorous film but maybe a little too long... what's that you say... a drama... get outta here...!

Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace (1999)

Good, because it's Star Wars...

[4/10 · 23 April 2000]

I can't say that I didn't enjoy it but a lot of things could have been changed. First, Jake Lloyd, bad choice, he was just bad, he was annoying and not even cute. Next, okay, I know, it is all computer made, who cares, we don't need an endless pod racing scene or useless computer animated characters to prove it and Jar Jar, shut the fudge up. Finally, I think it was a little too made-for-kids.

Okay, that's enough bitching. Now for the good parts. I liked the movie because of what Star Wars is. To me, Star Wars is light sabers fights and intense moments between good and evil, that is the memory I keep from when I was watching Star Wars the first time when I was about eight. For these reasons, I liked the movie and I think that as a part of a trilogy it is going to be good.

Saving Private Ryan (1998)

WAR

[9/10 · 21 December 1999]

This movie is a masterpiece of direction, the landing scene is one of the best scenes in the history of movie making. But, let's not get carried away. Now, let me tell you what this movie is all about.

The whole thing about saving a private whose brothers have all been killed isn't at the root of this story, it is just a pretext to put some men in life or death situations and see how they react. The whole movie is a metaphor of WAR, all wars. Wars are used to have more lands, more power. Thousands, millions of men die in a war to please these people who want these lands or this power.

In the movie, men fight and die for something that seems so insignificant: the life of one man. All these men get slaughtered for that ONE thing that is so important for some but seems so stupid to us. So, The movie is in fact a transposition of war in a context where we know all of the characters so that we don't see a man who dies just as a simple private but as a human being. I think that was the only way to show us all the horror of WAR itself, and I think Spielberg knew that.

Titanic (1997)

Overestimated, then underestimated...

[7/10 · 21 December 1999]

Titanic is a very good movie and a wonderful love story but, along the way, something happened, people got all carried away and started saying it was the best movie of all times. Then the publicity started to become more and more present and then the Oscars (11 for those who might not already know), more publicity and it kept on going. People got tired to hear about it and started saying it wasn't that good and even that it was bad (I even said it, I'm not proud). Now, this movie isn't the best movie ever but you can't deny the fact that it is well directed, well written, well played, not boring and thus, that it is a pretty good film.

Stigmata (1999)

Man, this was bad!!!

[16 September 1999]

Bad movie, very, very bad! I don't understand why some people liked this one. It is a bad copy of "The Exorcist", (which is one of my favorite movies) with techno-music.

It starts very slooowly, and when it finally does, it gets even more boring than it was in the beginning. I wasn't scared a bit and I was expecting at least some shivers.

Director Rupert Wainwright doesn't know how to make a movie, it seemed like I was watching "The X-Files" on T.V.

Gabriel Byrne doesn't save this movie and Patricia Arquette, well, I am starting to doubt that she has some talent somewhere (Except...well, you know...).

I am telling you, if the next "James Bond" doesn't make enough money, MGM is dead.

Entrapment (1999)

Please, stop doing that!!!

[16 August 1999]

Stoo-pid this movie is. The plot is great, let me tell you what you need to be a thief: nobody can see you... Woah! who would have thought of that, this is brilliant!

Maybe it is me but, I don't think a metal cable of one inch diameter would break under 150 pounds Sean Connery and 105 zeta-Jones. And what would Catherine do with that old, rotting guy (no offense Sean). Who do you think we are, trash-cans to take all this garbage. Fortunately I had a free plane ticket when I paid for this movie... or was it the opposite?

Eyes Wide Shut (1999)

One of the 10 best movies of the decade.

[10/10 · 18 July 1999]

Being a huge fan of Kubrick, I was expecting this movie to be a great one and, I really wasn't disappointed at all. This movie is a very complicated and weird one with strange twists and a great psychological evolution for each one of the two main characters. Tom Cruise is pretty good and Nicole Kidman is great in her role but, what is important to remember is that, this movie is a Stanley Kubrick movie and therefore, is not accessible for everyone. If you are expecting your average movie where all the answers are given or if you don't want to think about what is going on, don't see this movie. But, if you're in the market for an interesting psychological drama with great cinematography and a good script, then, see this movie. That is all I've got to say....

8MM (1999)

Could have been better

[5/10 · 28 February 1999]

The idea was very good, the script was not too bad but... It really could have been better. This movie is very dark and sordid but it doesn't catch you. You don't really have feelings for the characters and it becomes too unbelievable at a certain point.

It wasn't a bad movie but, you can't stop imagining what Oliver Stone or Quentin Tarantino would have done with it.

Three Colors: White (1994)

Beautiful!

[9/10 · 24 December 1998]

Only a beautiful story about love, friendship and betrayal. Very well- directed, brilliant actors, moving story. And way better than "Titanic".

Sitcom (1998)

Incest, masochism and rats...

[7/10 · 23 December 1998]

This is the story of a normal little French family. One day, daddy comes back home with a rat. This rat will change the life of everyone in the family. Son will become gay, daughter will try to suicide and become a sadomasochism adept etc. This movie is really sick in a way but it is innovative and really funny. It is really tough to appreciate this kind of movie if you have only seen Hollywood films, but once you give it a try you discover a whole new kind of art. All I have to say is: Expend your mind dude!

Psycho (1998)

Gus Van Sant REMADE it

[6/10 · 23 December 1998]

I couldn't say it was bad, I should even say it was great, I loved the original, it is one of my favorite movies. But, Gus Van Sant didn't direct this movie, Hitchcock did. Van Sant directed it just like Hitchcock did: same shots of view, same dialogs, same everything. The actors were not bad, but I missed Anthony Perkins. So why didn't they just digitally remaster it like "Star Wars" or "The Wizard Of Oz"? Why? Probably for the money...

The Siege (1998)

Very funny comedy

[3/10 · 23 December 1998]

I had a good time laughing at all the clichés in this movie. This movie is stupid, the actors are bad (especially Bruce Willis) , the characters are dumb (man, Annette Bening sleeps with a suspected terrorist and Denzel still trusts her), the dialogs are stupid and pointless, to think there was actually a pro-American speech by Denzel. I was just thinking it was as bad as Judge Dreed when Bruce Willis said: "I am the law". Very funny, if it is supposed to be a comedy but, pretty stupid if it is a thriller.

McHale's Navy (1997)

It sucked, it sucks, it'll suck...

[2/10 · 23 December 1998]

How could they remake one of the worst movies of the history. It's bad, completely, absolutely, incontestably bad. I saw it at a friend's house and after 30 minutes we were asking ourselves why nobody laughed yet. This movie is full of stupid unfunny jokes, the actors are bad and their ham acting doesn't make anyone laugh. If I had directed this movie, my name wouldn't be in the credits anymore and I would have hid it in my closet.

Assassin(s) (1997)

Good, but it's not "La Haine"

[7/10 · 23 December 1998]

Mathieu Kassovitz has directed one of the best movies ever (La Haine) ; a movie about gangs. This time, he comes back with a film about contract killers: Assassin(s). Kassovitz has done a very good directing job, and he is a very good actor too, but the violence is so intense in this film that it becomes unendurable to watch it.

The film is about an old contract killer who teaches his job to a young boy and who wants him, eventually, to take over the business. This isn't a very entertaining movie, it‘s pretty hard to watch, it's violent, horrifying and it has a total lack of humor. It is inspired a lot by : "C'est arrivé près de chez vous " (Man Bites Dog), which was a much better film with a lot more humor. The movie wasn't bad, but it wasn't great either...let's just say it was good.

La haine (1995)

GREAT!

[10/10 · 23 December 1998]

One of the best movies I have ever seen. It's powerful, funny at times and very well directed by Mathieu Kassovitz. The using of Black & White gives a more dramatic and realistic content to the movie. The performances are great; I don't think I have ever seen such a good performance by Vincent Cassel. Not very violent physically, but psychologically it is one of the most violent movies ever, after Once Were Warriors.

Love and a .45 (1994)

Very good copy of Tarantino and Stone

[6/10 · 23 December 1998]

This is a very entertaining movie, but it copies the style of Quentin Tarantino when you look at the dialogs, the kind of story (a lot like True Romance and Natural Born Killers) and the use of surf music. The direction looks a lot like Oliver Stone's in Natural Born Killers (shots of view, amateur-style image). Still, it was funny, it was entertaining but it wasn't innovative.

Elvis Gratton: Le king des kings (1985)

Cult movie

[7/10 · 23 December 1998]

First, Elvis Gratton is a comedy, which means you should not to take it seriously. This is the story of a man who's idol is Elvis (baby!) and who enters a contest of Elvis imitations. He wins and the price is a trip to Santa-Banana, a tropical island. The fun thing about this film is that, through funny jokes, we follow the life of a stupid, racist and sexist individual who is happy that Quebec didn't separate from Canada in 1980. This has became a cult movie exactly because Quebec didn't separate. I guess you've got to have some French Canadian roots to understand this movie.

But for these French Canadians who are offended by this movie, who say strangers will think that we are all like that, let me tell you something. It's just like thinking that all Americans are like Jim Carrey in Dumb and Dumber.

Dog Day Afternoon (1975)

Superb!

[10/10 · 23 December 1998]

Definitely the best movie about bank robberies. This movie is very complex and deals not only with the issue of robbing banks but with the prejudices that people carry. The direction of the movie is based on a tense atmosphere that never stops till the ending credits. This is Sidney Lumet's masterpiece, he came close to it with "Serpico" but it wasn't as good as this one.