Melm Reviews

Marcella: Episode #2.2 (2018) Season 2, Episode 2

Continuity error

[3/10 · 15 March 2018]

When Marcella and her family come in to her house they bring 5pizzas. When they leave no one appears to take the pizzas. When Marcella is on her own again, not only at the pizzas gone from the table, there is a lamp on the table where the pizzas used to be. I'm not sure if anyone else noticed

Cracker (2006 TV Movie)

Desperately Disappointing, Possible Spoiler

[5/10 · 14 January 2007]

I was so excited when I heard Fitz was coming back. But this story was dreadful, no suspense, very little analysis of Fitz and why oh why did it need to be shot in semi darkness the whole way through - like a cheap budget artsy flick? I couldn't be further than a Bush apologist - but the heavy handed anti-American rant was tedious. The beauty of the original Cracker was to juxtaposition Fitz's brilliant analysis of what was wrong with the perpetrator's life while being singularly unable to fix his own, his abuse of alcohol, his gambling addictions, are still here, but they are muted. I really can't believe I wasted 2 hours watching this disappointing drivel.

Having a Wild Weekend (1965)

Are we watching the same movie?

[2/10 · 24 March 2006]

Reading the other reviews is like a visit to Private Eye's Pseud's Corner. Come On. As someone who lived through 60s London I can't believe all the hype and drivel spoken about this poorly constructed movie. It's cheap and nasty. The sound is appalling, and yes, despite the other protestations to the contrary, it's merely a poor rip-off of Hard Days Night. It has no style, no panache and sweeping shots of London Traffic Signs is hardly art. Not even worth seeing it through. I thought "Mrs Brown YOu've Got a lovely Daughter" was dire. This is even worse. If it was supposed to be a witty look at the Swinging 60s then it failed miserably. If it was supposed to be avant garden, then who was the intended audience? I'm finding it hard to find anything more to share about this movie. I certainly wouldn't waste any money renting this piece of drivel. We caught it on TV and rather wished we'd not bothered. Save your time. Watch something else

A Child's Christmas in Wales (1987 TV Movie)

A reflection on times past, but a timeless message

[8/10 · 23 December 2004]

I haven't read other reviews on this, but can't understand the voting - most people have given it 10 - which I can understand, but then a group have given it 3 - how anyone can watch this evocative movie and give it 3 is beyond me. It is probably the only Christmas movie that I feel I must watch every time that it's on - it shows a simpler time, a raw view of Christmas through the eyes of a Welsh child. It's simple effective and a great antidote for the glitzy artificial 'made for TV' Christmas schmaltz so evident during this season. Well worth the time to watch. Denholm Elliot's voice over is melodious and you can almost feel the snow and the excitement of the young protagonist. 8/10

Me Without You (2001)

Rather dreary although competently acted

[5/10 · 16 December 2004]

I caught this on the movie channel last week and thought it would be a nice change. Although the music brought some nostalgic moments for me, especially the opening "Snowy White Horses", I found the story rather depressing. A lot was predictable and the destructive nature of Marina and the nasty way she thwarted Holly's potential relationship with Nat was hardly the actions of a best friend. THe acting was competent, but the story was substandard. WHile I understand the contrast drawn between the two families, I fail to understand why Holly's mother had to be portrayed as so pathetic - either she was a strong Jewish woman with no need to pander to modernity (her clothing was dreadful)and who valued ability over looks, or she was just inanely jealous of her more sparkling (but very nouveau riche) neighbours. Those houses were definitely 'des-res' in any decade. 5/10

Beyond Borders (2003)

Interesting Movie,but ended weakly

[6/10 · 14 November 2004]

I had no expectations for this movie, except that I quite like Clive Owen and I found the subject of the movie, the realities behind famine relief, quite illuminating. The movie had several flaws, as illustrated by other commentators, not least the last scenes when Jolie leaves her young children to enter dangerous territory to look for her lover. It took away from the rest of the movie. One really petty thing for me was the fact that all the scenes supposedly set in London were obviously not - I thought they were in Eastern US, but was not surprised at the end to find they were in Montreal. The houses were so not English it was sad - why spend all this money and then pretend to set the family home scenes in London and elsewhere in England when the houses were obviously North American Style.The acting was fine, it was the storyline that let it down. Still, if it makes one person more aware of the realities of the political aspects of world famine, then it will not have been a total waste.

Ghost Cat (2004 TV Movie)

Simple combo, bereaved children, lots of animals, love interest

[5/10 · 21 October 2003]

This is a simple children's movie with all the classic Disneyesque components, evil nephew trying to get his hands on his late aunts estate, kind hearted woman trying to save all the animals and implants from the big city relocating to "start over". It's not that great - I only watched it because of the cat - the acting was rather wooden and although i was fooled by the New York licence plates, my instincts were still good - it was Canadian, wooden - why is it that we Canucks can do brutal stuff well like 'life after billy' and the story of the Christian Brothers abuse, but we do general stuff so badly - I'm not sure if it's just poor directing (after all we have great canadian actors who go on to make in in other milieus) Anyway, simple stuff for kids, no one ends up dead (except the ghosts of course!)

When I Was 12 (2001 TV Movie)

Sad story, well portrayed

[7/10 · 17 November 2002]

Chloe, 12 years old and recently moved to yet another drossy council house, with an alcoholic mother, bullying brother and the latest in a long line of mother's boyfriends.

She is very friendly with Kelly the girl next door, and strikes up a friendship with Lee, a boy from a similar background as hers who is desperate to leave Burnley and go to Hastings to try and find his mother. Chloe and Lee steal a car and go to Hastings, but it's not all sand and candy floss. Quite depressing, but a good performance from all of the major players.

Having It Off (2002– )

FOr heaven's sake turn it off

[20 October 2002]

This sit com must rank as one of the worst I've ever seen. While I'm not a prude - and enjoy adult humour as much as the next person - this is smutty, cheap and so stereotypical as to be insulting. I would have thought Frances Barber would have had more class than to lend her name to this abomination. If you want good comedy centred around adult relationships - watch Coupling to see how it's done perfectly, funny, witty, down to earth. This sordid little show should have died at the pilot stage.

Mr. Rice's Secret (1999)

This could have been an excellent film

[7/10 · 14 March 2002]

But it wasn't. As an ex brit Canadian, I am continually appalled by the standard of Canadian films. There is just something sooo distinctive about them - you can spot them a mile off - haven't quite figured out what it is - certainly the filming and direction is part of it. David Bowie was great in his too limited role - could have done with more of him and less of the kid's parents - as the parent of 2 canadian teenagers myself I could see no resemblance to real teenagers. The language was stilted, the scene was sort of leave it to beaver with attitude - as if the movie was set 20 years ago. Still, it made me cry - which isn't hard to do and I have seen worse, thus a 6 out of 10

Eye of the Beholder (1999)

Not as bad as the reviews here would suggest

[4/10 · 28 December 2001]

This is a strange movie, but not as dire I have seen. Ashley Judd was okay, Ewan was very good as over the edge secret service agent, surprisingly for me was the excellent cameo of k.d. Lang - not one of my favourites, but played the phone operator connector for Ewan McGregor very well.

It was surreal, and the ending disappoints, the imagery of the lost daughter was irritating and I for one was glad when she went away!

Otherwise, I've seen worse movies - that may sound damning with faint praise but I wanted to balance the extremely negative reviews here - we nearly didn't watch it at all, and I'm glad we ignored the bulk of the reviews

The Fisher King (1991)

Don't pay money for this one

[3/10 · 2 October 2000]

I'm so disappointed in this movie. I love Robin Williams and Jeff Bridges is an excellent actor, but this movie was bitterly disappointing. The story just didn't cut it for me, it took too long to bring Robin Williams in, it was bitty and patchy and the vital spark of empathy was missing - I just didn't care what happened to them. I gave it 45 minutes and then went to unpack some moving boxes - an indication of how dreary it was.

The Last of the Blonde Bombshells (2000 TV Movie)

Still Crazy meets The Andrews Sisters

[8/10 · 29 August 2000]

This is a quirky movie that the Brits do so well. Low budget, cameo type roles, well executed. The story is a little weak, a recently widowed Judi Dench decides to round up the "blonde bombshells' a all (well almost all) girl band who performed during the war in London. The obligatory son/daughter who thinks she's gone potty. I did like the way the movie lets young people see that they don't have a monopoly on feelings, love and even lust! That the "old wrinklies" can have a good laugh too. Judi Dench was superb as always, a pity we didn't get to see more of the other "blonde bombeshells, the end was a little rushed I thought. I kept thinking as I watched that David Jason would have made an even better Patrick than Ian Holm, although he was quite adequate as the "transvestite" drummer. All in all a cheery movie well worth a night in with the girls :)

Nil by Mouth (1997)

technically excellent - but is it entertainment?

[6/10 · 18 April 2000]

I have to concur with some of the other commentators - Nil by Mouth is a strange movie. It's depiction of S London council slums is very gritty, the acting is very credible. It's the story or lack of one that I find hard to get my head around. It doesn't go anywhere - the ending is extremely weak, leaving more loose ends than ever. I was under the misapprehension that a "serious calamity" was going to befall one of them which was supposed to be pivotal, but without giving the storyline away, the pivotal part of the movie was knocked off balance by the disappointing ending. I found this movie strangely compelling- I kept wondering to myself why I was bothering to perservere with the excessively foul language and the dark photography but it was gripping for some unexplicable reason. However the ending spoiled a lot for me and that's why despite the excellent acting I could only give this a 7 - at the end of the day I watch movies to be entertained and while that can be achieved by a variety of genres, not all light, not all funny, this movie fails to entertain

An Evil Streak (1999– )

The absolute worst Trevor Eve vehicle I've ever seen.

[2/10 · 27 March 2000]

While I don't think God himself could have breathed life into this dire tv special, I was still a bit disappointed that Trevor Eve agreed to do it. I didn't think there was something of his I wouldn't get to the end of, but it shows how wrong you can be. The writing was awful, the direction and editing confusing. The characters did not elicit any empathy at all, which I find crucial, even in a "baddy" has to have some spark of something to make you care what happens to them. After 45 minutes or so, we gave up and watched something else.

Screen Two: Black Easter (1995) Season 11, Episode 7

Strange slightly futuristic view of Germany's next racial crisis

[5/10 · 11 October 1999]

This was an interesting, if not slightly confusing drama in which Trevor Eve plays a detective in the slightly futuristic Germany. There is a huge Muslim refugee "camp" on the "outside" and Trevor Eve gets drawn into finding out what secrets are being kept. Could have been better, Trevor Eve was very good, Amanda Oom less so.

This story had promise, but was mediocre

The Secret Rapture (1993)

Intense, multidimensional I really enjoyed it

[4/10 · 6 September 1999]

I finally rented this video after searching for it for many months. Initially I only wanted to see it because I'm an out and out Neil Pearson fan (Patrick, boyfriend of Isobel, the lead). However, the movie stands up very well without Neil (although he handles himself very well in this movie, he is overshadowed by the three main female characters). It's an eerie, intense movie, the sort the Brits do so well - definitely a "chick flick" the house and it's isolated setting giving the movie an almost "Wuthering Heights" aura. The movie is full of tension and the ending, shocking, yet somehow inevitable. I'm glad I watched it, it was worth the wait

Mrs. Brown, You've Got a Lovely Daughter (1968)

Dreadful attempt to cash in on a hit song

[2/10 · 16 August 1999]

Much as I love Herman's Hermits' music, this has to be one of the worst movies I've ever seen. plot was so weak it should have been strangled at birth and despite an attempt by Lance Percival to play Peter Noone's father, it was all pretty dire. The script writing was extremely poor too and it's not hard to see why Peter Noone kept to music (though he did get an early start as Len Fairclough's son in the long running British Soap Coronation Street)

After the Promise (1987 TV Movie)

A very moving, sad story, well acted

[9/10 · 13 March 1999]

This portrayal of a depression era worker, left to bring up his children after his wife died is extremely moving. It is well acted, and you really feel for the extremely frustrating time the hero encounters while he tried to re-group his whole family who are unceremoniously removed "into care". The children endure horrific abuse, but, eventually Mark Harmon, whose acting is excellent in this movie, manages to bring all of his children home. UPDATE: September 2012 - for all those who want to acquire this movie - there are dvds available on ebay. Not sure why IMDb wants me to make this review longer - it was shorter before I added the update, and yet now apparently it isn't long enough. it's long enough to tell people how greatly moving this story is. One of my all time favourite movies

Between the Lines (1992–1994)

Why I think this is the best Brit Cop show ever

[10/10 · 10 February 1999]

I have watched every episode at least twice over the past 5 years (we got this series a little later than the UK of course). It's realistic cut throat, no holds barred depiction of UK police corruption was leading edge. Presented in the UK at a time when confidence in the UK police was at a record low, this show encapsulated the feelings of the day. It is very well acted, the principals gelling nicely right from the first episode. The third series is less tight and focussed, which explains why the main cast members refused to sign up for a 4th series. Neil Pearson (one of the sexiest men on the screen these days) is extremely convincing as Tony Clark. In fact, I can't think of any weak performances at all. great writing too. certainly a "10"