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Reviews
Happiness (1998)
Shocking, disturbing, yet funny.
Todd Solondz's follow up to Welcome to the Dollhouse is similar with a bigger, more famous cast who play deeply disturbed and sexually frustrated people living in dysfunctional families and lives and taking their sexuality to the extreme. The humor is visible here, but people with below average IQs would probably not realize it if it had hit them in the head. There are some disturbing and shocking scenes because they're never shown on TV (except for There's Something About Mary), but it's real - everything you see here is real. Several flaws such as little contrived scenes and there are a number of plots and most which are never resolved leaving the viewers hanging. But Dylan Baker's character, which people complained never had anything bad happen to him at the end, can be figured out without the director telling us what happened. This is a clearly perfect, a great film - only for the art crowd and smart guys like Todd Solondz - it's something I can't bear to hate. Rarely does a film make me feel what Happiness made me feel. It's more feel-good than Stepmom was and the hysterical moments are caught here. Another thing, the title is just irony...nobody is happy here, or they think they are and just want to be.
Bug Buster (1998)
Silly, ridiculous, campy fun for a poorly made, clumsy comedy.
Since no one made a review for this movie, I decided to go ahead with it. It's this story about a pesticide that makes the fishes at the idyllic Mountview town's lake give birth to roaches. I know you're laughing by now. The director's wife is here as the town doctor who communicates with former Star Trek George Takei over the phone, he plays a bug scientist of some sort. Another Star Trek survivor is James Doohan as the town sheriff. Bride of Chucky's Heigl who is terrified of bugs moves to the town with dad Kopell of Love Boat and mom Lockhart of Battlestar Gallatica (and daughter of June!) who buy a hotel by the lake. She is wooed by orphan Lipper before they witnesses several people dying gruesome deaths as the roaches and larvae burrows themselves into the corpses and lay eggs or whatever. The whole story is a bit confusing as you try to put it together. I think the pesticide causes the bugs to mutate and so the roaches just kill and stuff while their "mother bug" somehow grows to ten feet high. The special effects are lousy, the acting are okay, the direction is poor and the editing is clumsy, there are some laughably bad scenes including the "mother bug" attacking James Doohan who fail to convince us that he's being attacked (the "mother bug" was computer generated). Well the whole film was clumsy anyway. Randy Quaid adds more comic bits to the laughter quotient of the film and manages to steal each scene he's in as a bug exterminator who's ready to kick some bug ass! - as he says in his cheap commercials. It's good, giddy, silly, and ridiculous campy fun especially if this horror/comedy's poorly made and clumsy. With the rating system still not past five votes, I give mine now...it's 4 out of 10.
Marie Baie des Anges (1997)
Gummo made more sense
This film was similar to Harmony Korine's Gummo which takes place in a small Ohioan town where the minors live the same incredibly screwy lives. But this French film was utterly boring, pointless, and just drags on and on and on and goes absolutely nowhere! Don't bother unless you're a foreign film freak (I am - but this was one of the worst foreign film to come into the USA!)
Meet Joe Black (1998)
Wouldn't want to meet Joe Black
Meet Joe Black was a big fat dumb bore that got more and more ridiculous especially with the idea that death comes to earth in the form of a man with plans to stand by some old rich guy and watch him work then fall in love with the old man's daughter (who if she found out will be found in the tabloids with the headings: I SLEPT WITH DEATH). As everyone knows this film is too LONG! Three hour of babbling is just pointless and could be condensed into a mere hour! The movie was a joke - a pointless waste of time.
Gummo (1997)
Horrible...but there's something good about it!
Yeah I know this movie was horrible, disgusting, trashy and all the other names you can think of, but it is a genuine view of redneck, white trash small-town life (but not in Xenia, Ohio - cuz it never filmed there or the movie is not what the town is like...it was actually filmed in Nashville, Tennessee...figures) Anyway...this film was so real and so ghastly I may have found it horrible and all because I was in shock. But it's a watchable and interesting although plotless look at the lives of minors in a town like this. Besides what does GUMMO mean?
Progeny (1998)
Woooo....scary....
The Progeny was a boring little horror movie about a couple who discover that during sex, there was a two-hour skip in the time and slowly realizes that the wife was abducted by little green men who impregnanted her with an alien baby that gives her stomach cramps until the so-so ending. Don't find this to be similar to It's Alive or other monster baby films, it's basically just babbling for a looonnnng time and very little is seen. Definitely not a metaphor for fatherhood because the dad just wants to kill the unborn little tyke. Nothing good ever comes out of Sterling Home Entertainment (at least not since Bram Stoker's Shadowbuilder).
Ringmaster (1998)
I would pay a buck to see Springer shot.
The things people would do just to get on America's biggest trash talk show - The Jerry Farrelly Show hosted by Jerry Farrelly (Springer of course). After poor white trash mother finds her daughter in bed with the girl's stepfather, the mom has sex with the daughter's fiance and both women becomes excited when they're appearing on Jerry. Along for the ride is a black woman having fun with her best friends who slept with her boyfriend that ended up tagging along to appear on the show. Jerry is given less screen time than the latter in this sometimes funny, utterly morbid, and an unusual statement is given on the things that people do to get on this show. But nevertheless, this film is crude, trashy and pointless. Close to the end where Springer lectures that people want to see real people and their dirty little lives then get beat up is very unconvincing - Jerry Springer Show is 100 percent SUCKSVILLE. But some people find this crap entertaining, then let them have their fun - even though there aren't many of them (proves the 9 million dollar gross this film made - what a big bomb). No this film is not graphic enough to be NC-17, then shut up ya cry-babies. I have a handgun ready in my hand so I can shoot myself when I hear any mention of a sequel.
Strangeland (1998)
The worst horror movie of the year
Next to Milo and The Killer Eye, Strangeland was the worst movie of the year. Dee Snider wrote the script to this boring, dull horror with bad acting and a slow pace. Nothing interesting happens here and the movie looks like it was actually TWO movies condensed together. The first half could've been shorter...waaaaay shorter. And the second half could have been more longer and stronger. This film is utterly obscure, limited, wandering and absolutely pointless. Whoever had to like it is probably a sadomasochistic person who has nothing better to do than watch this junk. It's even more insane when the filmmakers are actually planning a sequel...they are seriously.
Wishmaster 2: Evil Never Dies (1999)
But sometimes we wish it would just die.
Wishmaster 2: Evil Never Dies premiered on HBO and I finally got to catch it. You know there's a saying that the sequel is always worse? Well it applied to this one. What could possibly get any worse than the first Wishmaster? The sequel of course. The wishmaster is rarely seen here, only disguised as a human played by Andrew Divoff who needs 1,001 souls to take over the world. He manages to give wishes to all these people before some punkette (Holly Fields) gives a twisted wish at the end like the original. It's just the same thing all over again, except the wishmaster seem to look different than he did in the original...he looks like he lost a few pounds.
Night of the Demons III (1997)
It's time to abandon house.
You get a feeling that this film will turn out to be a big turkey once you take a look at its computer generated credit opening that looks like crap. Just like a previous review, it just gets on your nerves. For the film it's just the same old thing all over again except the kids are juvenile delinquents. The ending leaves an unnecessary opening for another sequel and the way they executed that was very poor. Really - don't bother with this crap.
Wes Craven's New Nightmare (1994)
Freddy's back, but this time he's serious.
The first time since the original, Wes Craven has taken over and made Freddy the way he was originally - a grim, morbid murderer (although he only offs very few people in this one) in this smart seventh entry in the successful franchise, Heather Langenkamp plays herself as the actress of the first film who is terrorized by Krueger who has made a mysterious jump from the big screen to real-life. Quite an interesting idea and a great movie. Just wait until we see what Freddy Vs. Jason's gonna be like. John Saxon, Wes Craven, Robert Englund, producer Marianne Maddalena appear as themselves too.
Amityville: Dollhouse (1996)
For God's Sake - NO MORE!
Don't you think that we have had enough with this terrible series and now the eighth film has found its way to video stores everywhere. It's just another terrible addition. You would think that they should have made the first film better (even if it's not true) and made very few sequels related to the genre "family living in haunted house" and not bother with dumb unrelated sequels of possessed lamps, mirrors, clocks, dollhouses or another haunted house in the Amityville burg. Now there's supposedly another Amityville film in the works - making that nine later on. Amityville Dollhouse is a dull, lifeless direct-to-video effort that is incredibly lame, and incredibly corny. The dollhouse isn't even that scary compared to the real thing, why can't we have a movie that lives up to its title AMITYVILLE, not just more exploitative trash.
The Mangler (1995)
If they hadn't mangled it that much.
This would have been one excellent horror flick if they hadn't mangled it that much. A weird, and stupid, but interesting idea of a demonically possessed laundry-pressing machine wrecking havoc on employees at the Blue Ribbon factory until the disappointing ending along with unsatisfying twists. Could have done better. I actually saw this film in theaters in Toledo and saw the original ad in newspaper - this film is not direct-to-video and bombed in theaters so bad that it was pulled after two weeks. I think it's not so bad overall despite a bunch of flaws.
Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers (1995)
What were they thinking?
Dimension picked up a very gruesome screenplay by Daniel Farrands, filmed it and changed their minds by chopping it up - now what we have is a confusing, incoherent mess. The plot involves Michael Myers chasing after a baby who is somewhat his niece's daughter (actually in the uncut version - HIS OWN DAUGHTER! EEEWW! Now you see why the producers changed their minds) They cut a lot of scenes out that they found disturbing. Several other stupid, unlikable characters are killed off before the big climax doesn't do much to convince us that H6 is the end. What Dimensions Films should have done was to completely redo the script - make it sensible, smarter, logical, etc. that way the fans can enjoy H6. Although this film may have a bunch of great, spooky scenes that fans would find excellent. This is the best since the first Halloween and the worst of the series. Confused? Don't ask cuz i'm confused too.
Disturbing Behavior (1998)
Disturbing Movie
This would have been a perfect movie if they had left the film alone at its original running time of 110 minutes. Otherwise, this is an above average teen thriller/sci-fi that does seem to give a little message.
Amityville II: The Possession (1982)
For God's Sake, What Were They Thinking!?
This is an extremely fictional movie as Jacob Cremins stated - the film based on the Hans Holzer novel is ridiculous and embarrassing. He had the nerve to use the DeFeo family in this thinly disguised, loose adaption. This film is utterly worthless and the ending's a definite rip-off of The Exorcist. For God's sake, what were they thinking when they made this sorry excuse of celluoid!