Change Your Image
Boodikka
Reviews
Jungle Blue (1978)
Not A John Holmes Film
This Carlos Tobalina film was NOT a John Holmes film... it starred Bigg John, who appeared in a couple of obscure XXX in the late 70s. There is no confusing the two: Bigg John was a much better-looking person than Holmes. He looked a bit like John Shea on steroids. I have tried to correct the incorrect data on IMDb for some time without success.
How best to describe JUNGLE BLUE? Imagine an episode of Ron Ely's NBC "Tarzan" shot in a Great Adventure safari park with a copious amount of hard-core footage thrown in. Very "meh"... Tobalina has directed and even appeared (non-sex roles)in better adult films than this such as CHAMPAGNE ORGY.
Black Samurai (1976)
Poor Jim.....
In the 70s I enjoyed reading Marc Olden's "Black Samurai" novels, and I always wondered why the novels were never adapted for film. Well, it appears this awful film is supposed to be about Olden's Black Samurai, although Jim Kelly's character is NOTHING like the original Sand character fro the novel. The film is a disaster. It is so bad that it appears to be a parody akin to the "Fistful Of Yen" segment from KENTUCKY FRIED MOVIE, although "Fistful Of Yen" is actually less funny than this.....thing. Absolutely appalling in every aspect.
Uchu kara no messeji (1978)
I saw it! I'm blind! I saw it! I'm blind!
OK.......imagine being incredibly drunk or high on illegal drugs. Now imagine that you have smeared your TV screen with tomato paste. Then imagine watching a pastiche of STAR WARS, BATTLE BEYOND THE STARS, THE WIZARD OF OZ, MIGHTY MORPHING POWER RANGERS (ZYU RANGERS), SANTA CLAUS CONQUERS THE MARTIANS, THE HIDDEN FORTRESS, THE SEVEN SAMURAI, FLASH GORDON (1980), BUCK ROGERS and every Toho film ever made. Now add spicy food to the alcohol and drugs in your system. Now go to sleep.......the nightmares that you will experience will give you an idea of what this misbegotten "live-action anime" looks and sounds like. Vic Morrow looks embarrassed (and a tad drunk) while playing opposite a robot more annoying than the robot from the BUCK ROGERS TV series. Sonny Chiba looks even more bored than he did appearing in SISTER STREETFIGHTER with Sue Shiomi. Peggy Brennan's goofy smile and annoying dubbed voice makes one want to commit seppuku (the dubbed voice was so screechy, awful and hard to understand that Brennan's DUBBED voice actually needed subtitles), while Phil Cassnoff's poofy hairdo seems to be alive (more alive than many of the actors, perhaps the hair should have asked for screen credit).
Moulin Rouge! (2001)
Jose Ferror Is Rolling Over In His Grave
After seeing this film, and the repellent ROMEO AND JULIET, I'm fairly sure Baz Luhrmann is the AntiChrist. I'm sure epileptics around the country have run away from the theatre screaming. This film is an assault on the senses. It is nearly as stupid and loud as PEARL HARBOR (nearly as stupid and long, nothing could be as horrific as the wretched PEARL HARBOR).
Q & A (1990)
Too Gritty?
I've always wondered if this film hit a little bit too close to home for many viewers. There really aren't any heroes here, everyone is flawed or has some skeleton in the closet, and I think that's great, perhaps the film's strongest point. Armand Assante is great in this, and what's really great is the manner in which he captures certain Nuyorican peculiarities, quirks in both movement and verbal cadence. He obviously took the time to research the character, and it shows. Quite a refreshing change from the "Generic Latino" character Hollywood seems to think exists, the one that is from one large amorphous "Generic Latino Community", the that casts Spaniard Penelope Cruz as a Brasileira in "Woman On Top".....GRRRRRRRR! There's no happy ending in this film, just breaking even....just like real life.
The Eagle Has Landed (1976)
....too bad a script didn't land as well!
Saw this strange WWII piece again recently, surely a case of Good, Bad and Ugly. The good: the sympathetic portrayals of German officers by both Michael Caine and Robert Duvall, and the outstanding work of Donald Pleasance as Heinrich Himmler. I just finished reading Peter Profield's Himmler biography, and Pleasance seems to really have captured the essence of Himmler in his small role. The bad: the "comic relief" element as provided by Larry Hagman. He resembles Wiley Coyote more than a US Army officer (you almost can hear "The Merry-Go-Round Broke Down" every time he appears!) The ugly: I love Lalo Schifrin, but what was going on with his '70s exploitation film score? I almost expected to see Bruce Lee appear and start kicking Fallschirmjaeger butt through glass mirrors. A mixed bag, to say the least.
Woman on Top (2000)
Embarrassment to Brasileiros
What a wretched film this was! First of all, I know there are absolutely NO Brasileira actresses in the US or Brasil who could have played this role....the role being so complex and deep. So they get an actress from Spain with no grasp of what an English-speaking Brasileira would sound like. Worse yet they compound that error by surrounding her with real Brasileiro actors with the correct accent...appalling, really. Most of the Brasileiros are presented as ignorant, superstitious, oversexed, etc. The film's one redeeming value is the bossa nova/samba soundtrack.....buy the soundtrack, forget the risible film!
Saturday Night Fever (1977)
An Indictment Of Machismo and Urban Tribalism....
Anyone who read Nik Cohn's original New York Magazine piece ("Tribal Rights Of The New Saturday Night") would know that the article, and the subsequent film, are meant to CRITICIZE urban tribalism ("neighborhoodism"), machismo, racism, sexism, etc.....not glorify these ideas! Although the real-life Tony Manero (a fellow named Eugene Robinson) and his friends were a multi-ethnic group, other aspects of their behavior were dissected in the piece. The film chose to change their ethnic background to Italian, and take potshots at urban Italian culture circa 1977. The disco/dancing leitmotif was meant to be exactly that, a leitmotif. I never realized how many people missed the entire point of the film until I went to see the God-awful play here in NY....these people were APPLAUDING the stereotypes portrayed! The Faces are supposed to be ignorant, sexist, violent near-thugs, not role-models.....that is why Manero leaves them at the end of the film. It amazes me when people emulate and glorify negative stereotypes (like the Italian-Americans who emulate "The Sopranos"!) Part of the problem is that many people see the censored versions of the film, where the negative behavior is censored. The R-rated film is the only legitimate version. The PG/PG13 versions are inane (hey, guys, let's put out a PG, dumbed-down version of A CLOCKWORK ORANGE.....so the kids can hear all the GREAT MUSIC!).SNF wasn't the only film at the time to attack ethnic tribalism, NUNZIO and BLOOBROTHERS are other films that examine similar themes.
I, Claudius (1976)
Where is the UNCUT DVD version?
I'm hoping that this being the 25th anniversary of this series, someone will release an uncensored DVD version. The prints shown in the US on public stations are horribly degraded, almost unwatchable. Also, I don't think we've ever been shown a fully uncensored anywhere in the US. If you are a historical purist watching this for the first time, ignore the inaccuracies (i.e, Macro killing Gemellus......in reality Macro was long dead before Gemellus). Instead, enjoy the brilliant performances, especially by the lesser-known actors such as Sheila White.
Terror in the Wax Museum (1973)
The Terror Is Watching This Film
This is a cheaper BCP film than ARNOLD, and much less fun! What a terrible waste of a good cast.....the greatest horror is listening to poor Shani Wallis sing that stupid song OVER and OVER! What a shame to see a good singer/actress such as Wallis go from OLIVER to these BCP cheapies.
Lemora: A Child's Tale of the Supernatural (1973)
High-Quality, Low-Budget...Outstanding!
This nearly-unseen film has a HUGE cult following here in NY. I've written elsewhere on this site about the "nightmare" visual style in low-budget seventies horror films: this film might be the prime example. The disjointed narrative, the bizarre characters.....it is a child's imagination gone wild. It is also contains a very erotic, highly-charged leitmotif ; this particular subject matter would probably be taboo now. Everyone interprets this film differently; all fans of higher-end horror should view this film!
Arnold (1973)
Tales From a Low-Budget Crypt
Ah, the brilliance of BCP films.....what can one say? At least this one is fun (just imagine a "Love American Style" episode if made by Hammer Films). Once again a mixture of has-been and never-were big and small-screen actors get bumped off in ways that will seem silly to veteran viewers of Brit-horror films such as TALES THAT WITNESS MADNESS and VAULT OF HORROR. It even has the obligatory crappy Shani Wallis song (poor talented-but-totally-misused Shani).
Lust for a Vampire (1971)
Lust Is There, Le Fanu Isn't!
This definitely isn't the best Carmilla film (though the uncut version, unseen in the US, is highly erotic), yet it has a huge cult following largely due to the presence of Yutte Stensgaard. There are few one-hit wonder actresses in any genre who inspire such......lust. The edited US versions make this just another Hammer vampire film, the unedited version is definitely worth a look.
Oliver! (1968)
The Last Great Musical
Carol Reed's brilliant direction of the two biggest musical sequences ("Who Will Buy?" and "Consider Yourself") alone would make this a great film musical, but the film has so much more to offer. Hugh Griffith's drunken magistrate is one of the funniest cameos ever, and Harry Secombe actually carries much of the early part of the film. I can remember little children in th audience being terrified by Oliver Reed's Sykes during the film's post-Oscar reissue. As a period piece it's great: there's only one major anachronism (there were no elevated train tracks at the time the film takes place). Also note that the various cable prints consistently transpose images during "Who Will Buy?".....the window washers can be seen going up the ladders from the left of the screen or the right, depending on the print.
Swing Kids (1993)
Following: The Greatest Evil
In reading the reviews, there appears to be some disbelief that the Nazis saw the "Swing" movement as any real threat. In Peter Profield's excellent 1991 Himmler biography, he makes it quite clear that the official party line was that "Swing" was a subversive evil, as much as any White Rose activity. As for inconsistencies in Bale's character, understand that he is merely a "joiner". When the Swing Kids seem like the trend, he's into them. When the Jugeund seem like the better trend, that's what he wants to do.....typically adolescent.
Pearl Harbor (2001)
Coming Soon: The Rape Of Nanking, The Musical! From Disney!
What a brilliant parody of WWII films this was, almost on a comedic par with an episode of Hogan's Heroes! My favorite bit of merriment? "I think WWII's just started!" Hilarious! I think this would make a great sitcom with....what? It was supposed to be a "drama"? You have got to be kidding....with that dialogue? With that script? With the myriad historical inaccuracies? I am appalled and amazed at the number of positive and mixed reviews for this inane mall-rat bait. The dumbing down of America continues unabated, it would seem. Two things for the brain-dead mall-rats to do: first, rent Tora, Tora, Tora to maybe learn a little about the history of the incident. Secondly, open up a book about Pearl Harbor and READ IT!!!!
Lost Horizon (1973)
Lost EVERYTHING!!!
For 30 years I have heard the stories: the sheer cinematic awfulness, the abysmal box office, etc......Now I have seen it for myself: a wretched cross between the TV movie "Lost Flight" (with Bobby Van in both!) and "The King and I".... Where to begin? I am Burt Bacharach's biggest fan, but I can't imagine what types of drugs he was on when he wrote these "songs". This film single-handedly destroyed the big-budget musical, and now I understand why. I'm surprised that Bacharach and David didn't kill each other after this.
The "Club Tiki-Tacky" sets, which appear stolen from a Polynesian tourist trap restaurant, are an embarrassment. The "dramatic" scenes sometimes appear to have been done in one shot. The criminal waste of a brilliant cast....this film is not even in the so-bad-it's-fun category. It was and remains an appalling spectacle (like the Hindenburg, but without the body count).
Pearl Harbor (2001)
Coming Soon: The Rape Of Nanking, The Musical! From Disney!
What a brilliant parody of WWII films this was, almost on a comedic par with an episode of Hogan's Heroes! My favorite bit of merriment? "I think WWII's just started!" Hilarious! I think this would make a great sitcom with....what? It was supposed to be a "drama"? You have got to be kidding....with that dialogue? With that script? With the myriad historical inaccuracies? I am appalled and amazed at the number of positive and mixed reviews for this inane mall-rat bait. The dumbing down of America continues unabated, it would seem. Two things for the brain-dead mall-rats to do: first, rent Tora, Tora, Tora to maybe learn a little about the history of the incident. Secondly, open up a book about Pearl Harbor and READ IT!!!!
Joan of Arc (1999)
I'll have the stake, please!
Well, Besson certainly blew this one, n'est ce-pas? This might have been an interesting film, but the casting of the lead in such a film is important, and Jojovic couldn't act at gunpoint. It definitely needed serious editing, especially in the first 1/2 hour. I still don't get Besson's take on Jeanne: was she a visionary or in need of Prozac? It would have been nice to see a follow-up on Vincent Cassel's Gilles de Rais character: he went on to become (allegedly) one of history's worst mass murderers.
The Blair Witch Project (1999)
Root for the Witch!
What an over-hyped, brain-dead waste of film, time and website space! TBWP is the type of scam that Barnum dreamed of! A cottage industry ( comics, computer games, etc. ) has been spawned out of NOTHING!!! The annoying hand-held camera-work looks worse on TV, and will probably induce convulsions for many people...The characters are about as likable as the Scooby Doo bunch ( and the characterizations are about as deep! )By the time these idiot Gen-X kids meet their demise, you'll deem it merciful....for you, the viewer! Want a good terror-in-the-woods film? Try Evil Dead 1 or 2....hell, try Equinox, as least you'll get a laugh!
Tombstone (1993)
You're No Daisy If You Miss This!
This is Val's finest hour, no doubt about this. Non-Western and non-Kilmer fans still are amazed at his performance. Val chews the scenery, digests the scenery....you get the picture. His lack of an Oscar is yet another in the long litany of Academy Award buffoonery. The scenes where he confronts Michael Biehn are highly charged: Biehn looks at Kilmer and sees his future, and it frightens him. The film suffers in terms of continuity, but a lot of the continuity was left on the cutting-room floor: the relationship between Billy Zane and Jason Priestly; and scenes between Kilmer and Joanna Pacula, etc. Hopefully these scenes will be in the inevitable "director's cut" DVD. This version will hopefully showcase the secondary actors such as the excellent Stephen Lang, and of course more of Val Kilmer! Too bad that his later career has been, shall we say, somewhat erractic ( Dr.Moreau....AAAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!)
Horn-a-Plenty (1970)
Soft-Core Boredom
Sleep-inducing soft-core porn film made on location in Riverdale, NY. Women and men are possessed by the malevolent sexual energy of what appears to be a cucumber in a flower pot. The yawny sex scenes are accompanied by a numbing narration provided by the lead "actress". Avoid this film like the plague!
Zhong hua zhang fu (1978)
Best of the late '70s kung-fu films
I'm more of an early 70's kung fu film fan. I found the later '70s films to be bores, focusing on tedious training sequences and risible attempts at "humor:. I recommend this film, though: it showcases various Japanese and Chinese forms; and most amazingly no one is killed in the film! This makes it more attuned to the real spirit of martial arts: its true message is about honor. See this film, though it may be difficult to do. I've seen it once in 17 years, and that was on a local syndicated station.
Sensations (1975)
Not a Vanilla Porn Film
This was the first hard-core film I've ever seen, and I found the content fairly shocking back in 1975. Those who are used to run-of the-mill mainstream porn films should beware: the mundane and the kinky are presented equally here, and the notorious Braun doesn't seem to care who is offended. Lasse Braun was not a director who was concerned with making cinematic art; he wanted sex to be dirty and raw onscreen. The film was a huge success at the Cannes Film Festival; that combined with Maier's popularity as a Penthouse Pet made it a curio here in NY. For the adventurous, give it a try. For everyone else: you have been warned.
Porr i skandalskolan (1974)
For Brigette Maier Completists
This is just an adult trifle. I've seen both soft and hardcore versions of this. It's really only of worth if you have a great interest in Penthouse Pet/porn star Maier; otherwise it's like any other '70s European adult fare. There are some mildly amusing sequences towards the end. Be aware that other Maier films, especially those made with Lasse Braun (Sensations) can be extremely explicit, kinky and even somewhat offensive.