Zack-23 Reviews

Captain Nice (1967)

yeah bad, but fun for kids

[3 October 1999]

Back then we appreciated almost anything with a 'kid theme', especially in the evening. There were a few tantalizing bits thrown at us back then, Top Cat and Bugs Bunny were prime time a few years earlier. But to have a whole non-animated series devoted to being able to drink a potion, ala NICE or eat a pill, as in Mr. Terrific and become super, now that was GREAT FUN. After all these years I remember Captain Nice leaping from a van where in the dark he dressed in culottes and the time the secret formula dripped into a gutter to powerize a 'HIC-BOOM' worm. Even then I knew it was cheap, but I watched it, right after Mr. Terrific.

Ripcord (1961–1963)

Yeah! My heroes!

[3 October 1999]

These guys were the coolest for a seven-year-old kid! My Ripcord parachute man was one of the coolest toys too, until it floated off on an air current. At the time I had no idea the main characters were 'Festus' and 'Dash Riprock'. I've had fun looking back at these old shows and seeing who played in them, and trying to think where MY mind was in 1962.

The Blair Witch Project (1999)

The main point? It simply didn't scare me.

[29 September 1999]

From a cinematic standpoint, the idea of finding year-old film footage that tells of the last days of several students involved in a project that gets them in over their heads is unique and exciting. That was why I went to see the film. The execution of this idea, is where the movie falls way short. I got with the spirit early on, but by the time the lame excuses and frustrations are bantered about for about the four hundredth time, you find yourself wanting it to end quickly. The only thing scary was the seasick look on my face while trying to persevere in watching the bouncing frames until the end, which came far too late and was disappointing to say the least. It becomes obvious through the utter lack of preparation and resourcefulness on the part of the characters that they don't belong on a cub scout day hike, much less orienteering through deep woods. Perhaps this should be chalked up to artistic license, but I would like to know where they bought the batteries for their video cameras, because I can't get mine to last for 45 minutes of shooting, must less 3-4 days in the damp woods. I would overlook this silly point, IF the movie had been worthy in other respects. What can I say good about this film?? At first, the method was VERY convincing and I found myself thinking that the story might somehow be REAL. Unfortunately, about halfway through I'd had enough and was actually squirming, wanting to get up and leave. If anybody cares to write a sequel, consider having the students get CAPTURED about halfway through, and have the remaining footage taken by their captors. Maybe we will revisit this in about 20 years and it will actually be frightening, and not only because of the price I paid for admission.

South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut (1999)

Funny as the TV show

[28 July 1999]

South Park, B, L and U. was as funny as the TV show, just a lot more of it. Except that the events on the TV show generally don't affect people outside the South Park town limits, here they start a major war between two countries. I only had a few problems with this one. First, Chef didn't have a song of his own. What an oversight! Second, I saw it at the movies instead of on video so I couldn't keep repeating the parts that went by too fast or repeat parts that are just darn FUNNY! When it comes out on video, you can bet I'll be right there with my finger on the 'rewind' button. Ok, the Saddam/Satan thing got a little old, but it did make Saddam look like a real jerk, so it was ok by me. My favorite part was when Kenny appeared to the kids in the night to give warning of the earth-shattering events to come, and said, "MMM-MM-MM-MMM-MMM-MMM-M-M!". My wife and I just about rolled in the aisles. The usual South Park 'moral' in this effort was to raise the act of swearing to an absurd plane, and then slaughter it right before our eyes. Parker and Stone have done it again.

The Avengers (1998)

True to the series

[17 July 1999]

My wife and I were both fans of the original TV show and thought the movie was true, not only to the original series, but true to the '60s time period as well. Surrealism was very stylish in the '60s, take a look at the old "Prisoner" series. No, the characters don't have the same charisma as the originals, but again, who does? The 'British humor' and witticisms were well placed and were appreciated by us. We thought Emma's 'vinyl bubble umbrella' was a good touch. Out of all the attempts to revive TV serials in movies, this one succeeded.

Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me (1999)

When you can't be funnier, be more disgusting

[6 July 1999]

Yeah, just not as funny as the original and a good bit more disgusting, but still funny. I thought two places the movie lost out were 1) Powers loses his mojo and 2) the Bacharach/Costello scene. Powers without his mojo is more boring than the average person, and the Bacharach/Costello (though I like them both) thing looked like a bad afterthought. I absolutely cannot believe that Myers played Fat Bastard!!! Is that great make-up or what!? The name play and the idea that Graham 'had' to bed him down for business reasons was good, but I got enough of him real fast. I also could have used more tricks on the '60 conventions. There were so many that were left untouched.

The Jerry Springer sequence was a stroke of genius! Mini-me was funny, but I wish he would have said more. The 'meeting at the coffee pot' with Frau Farbissina plus the fact that everybody had changed in the last 20 years except her had me rolling in the aisles. I think the sequence where Dr. Evil takes off in his "LOOK! IT'S A ___" rocket ship had the whole theater rolling in the aisles.

Ok, so the movie was a little weak in some ways, but still good for some belly laughs.

The Waterboy (1998)

Funny, but not funny enough

[6 July 1999]

I did laugh out loud... about three times during this boring piece of work. I think I laughed loudest when he takes his GED and his teammate compliments him with, "All of us know that you are the only one that could have passed that exam!" Otherwise the weak plot was too reminiscent of 'Happy Gilmore' (a better and funnier movie). The soundtrack was the best part.

Searching for Bobby Fischer (1993)

They did it

[14 April 1999]

Doggone, they did it! They actually made a movie about chess. And one that was entertaining no less. Once during a chess tournament I laughed to see that there were news cameras taking pictures and what the people viewing on the 11 O'clock news would think of the chess 'action shots'. But here they made a movie with enough personal interest and action to keep even a non-chess person entertained throughout. On the possible negative side, it also showed the quirky, lonely life of a champion chess player. It goes with the territory. Now we ask... just where will the next Bobby Fisher come from?

The Piano (1993)

My wife and I both hated it

[14 April 1999]

Every character in the movie displays nothing but selfishness from beginning to end. I saw nothing subtle about locating a story in an isolated place where the men are portrayed as brutal and selfish while the women are portrayed as victimized and selfish. If there was any 'character' we could empathize with, it was the PIANO itself. It was the victim of abandonment, neglect and prostitution by brutal and selfish people.

This one really stinks.

The Competition (1980)

Movies can enrich your life

[14 April 1999]

I loved 'The Competition', though the characters and situations were predictable and stereotyped, (i.e. domineering teachers and butthole conductors) mostly because it told me that there are many people interested in music and 'behind the scenes' of what it means to devote your life to music. Most of all, the movie piqued my interest in Prokoviev, so that I now collect his music. Not bad for the price of a movie ticket!

Salem's Lot (1979)

One of the biggest scares

[12 April 1999]

Once of the biggest scares I ever got, AND I KNEW IT WAS COMING, was the ghoul coming off the mortuary slab. This has been done a hundred times since, but that really SCARED THE TAR out of me. All in all the movie was as good as adaptations go, maybe not great in a bigger since, but I'll still tell stories about that ONE GOOD SCARE ! ! !

The Outlaw Josey Wales (1976)

Don't forget Will Sampson

[12 April 1999]

Don't forget that "The Outlaw Josey Wales" also contains a short ,but moving performance by the late Will Sampson as 'Ten Bears'. His diatribe in a few lines sums up the points the great 'Chief Dan George' makes the whole movie about the feelings of many Native Americans toward our westward expansion (no presumption intended). Whatever your beliefs, though evil is temporarily quelled, this movie has a very sad ending.

The Groove Tube (1974)

The 'Great Grandaddy" of them all

[12 April 1999]

If you liked "Kentucky Fried Movie" (predecessor to the Zucker's "Airplane") you need to see the original 'skit' movie. The 'Groove Tube' is the GREAT GRANDADDY of the skit movies'. Nothing but one comedy skit after another. Many are very funny, some are a little dated. But hey, if you don't like one, the next is sure to get you. I saw the thing when it first came out, and 25 years later, when we are working in the kitchen, I STILL tell my wife to "Take the cherry pits... and put them in the olives... and garnish with a small American Flag!" Crazy.

Glen or Glenda (1953)

All funny, but the funniest part

[12 April 1999]

The whole thing is entertaining and funny. The part that makes me laugh out loud is the end scene, when his attractive and buxom girlfriend hands over her cashmere sweater, AND HE NEVER TAKES HIS EYES OFF OF IT ! ! ! I may be a dirty old man, but I was NOT eyeing the sweater. Maybe Ed wasn't homosexual, but he wasn't exactly... NORMAL!? Ed, we love ya.

What's Eating Gilbert Grape (1993)

Good movie, told a story

[10 April 1999]

I'm not at all a fan of DiCaprio's, but I think this is his best work. The story was honest in his feelings of being trapped in a small town. It reminded me of 'Spencer's Mountain' spiced up. Good movie. Not great, but good.

Blue Velvet (1986)

Didn't do that much for me

[10 April 1999]

Interesting in that it exposes the hidden 'dark side' of small towns and of people. Also that people are not what they seem on the surface. I thought 'Blue Velvet' was rather tedious in illustrating these points. However, I will say that Dennis Hopper plays depravity to the max. Also, I am grateful for those that bring us these 'different' films. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Breaker Morant (1980)

Superb and important movie

[10 April 1999]

Super telling of a historical sideline event that has become ever so important in this era questioning values, nationalism and leadership. I think the image of the volunteers is a little too clean, as they were indeed a rough lot, but few would argue that they were not victims in a 'sideshow of the war'. I prefer to watch this movie (again and again) on video so I can replay and catch many of the asides rendered in authentic, almost indecipherable, Aussie dialect. The addition of relevant poetry and music (with songs very well rendered by Woodward himself!) adds loads of class to this film. The contrast between the rough life on the 'Veldt' and images of home are extremely poignant. All in all, this movie made me want to ride side by side with the Australian volunteers, then gallop with all speed back to headquarters to shoot Lord Kitchener and his cronies right between the eyes with my trusty .303.

Titanic (1997)

Cutting about 1/2 of the contrived romance would've made a great movie

[9 April 1999]

OK, so there HAS to be a romantic story intertwined to make a real blockbuster. I like romance, but too much is too much. If half the time spent on the romantic fling had gone into historical or technological accuracy or even developing some of the stories of the lives of the hundreds of others aboard, I would no doubt rave that this was the best movie of the year. But they didn't... and I won't. It was a good movie that could have been a great movie. 'A Night To Remember' is far better for my vote.

Stand by Me (1986)

Didn't get it

[9 April 1999]

I'm old enough to remember what it was like to be that age, at about that time. The movie just seemed contrived to me. All the acting seemed so, well, ACTED. And the script. Most of the conversation that was to have come from inside young teenagers heads just didn't fit that well with the times. Maybe I will watch it again and see if my opinions change.

Fargo (1996)

stark realism, the way I like 'em

[8 April 1999]

Great depiction of how greed and ineptitude can turn a staged crime into a disastrous tragedy. Well acted and shot, full use is made of the stark, snow filled landscapes of the mid-northern states to the point of surrealism.

Maybe the accents were somewhat exaggerated, but the constant use of the 'Jeezes' and 'Yahs' did give a semi-hypnotic effect I'm sure the producers were looking for. It is also very violent, something that happens all too frequently in Paul Bunyan's America. Frances McDermond was great, and deserves the Oscar she got. If I can find fault with the movie it is the scene where the 'old friend' tries to con Margie into starting a relationship. The only possible purpose for such a scene would be to give more depth to the Margie character, but it is mostly distracting. Some other story device would have been more welcome.

Though hard to adjust to at first, I found the musical score to be most haunting and builds brilliantly for dramatic effect where needed.

A definite 'thumbs up' from us fans whose tastes lean a little toward the bizzare.

The Fifth Element (1997)

Well, I loved it.

[7 April 1999]

I have been disappointed by a great number of shoot-em-up, special effects laden Science Fiction adventure stories but I really loved The Fifth Element. The story IS simple, but no less imaginable than a bad plot that tries to hide its failings through numerous twists and complications. I thought Willis was great (as far as Willis-type characters go) and the Zorg character was interestingly portrayed by Oldman. The Ruby Rod character was so outrageous as to be a perfect foil for Corbin's Gary Cooperisms ("yep", "nope", "maybe"). The scenes with the Diva added tons of class to the genre (she even captivates Corbin) and I am going to hunt for records of Ms. Tchako's singing. Lee-Loo is cuter than a hundred buttons. Great fun.

Ed Wood (1994)

a story that needed to be told

[7 April 1999]

Thank goodness for these 'pet projects'. As a fan of really BAD cinema, especially '50s Sci-Fi, Ed Wood's movies are right at the top. Therefore I'm glad to see the story about how a rich medium such as film can be made so horrible in the right hands, and Ed Wood certainly had those hands (Gads, that sounds like a line from one of his scripts!!!). Depp is marvelous, but it is Martin Landau that showed us the glimpse of TRULY GREAT ACTING, a completely electrifying moment in the archway of an old building. I have seen Landau make even lesser roles gleam like he did in this movie enough times to prove that great acting is no accident.

The Outer Limits (1963–1965)

Great Science Fiction Anthology

[7 April 1999]

Though budget and time restrictions caused a few 'clinker' scripts, this SF series featured some great writers and their stories, usually produced in a dark, 'gothic' fashion. Many of the shows were truly unforgettable, though often I hear people relating some of The Outer Limits finest (and scariest) moments to similar anthology series, such as 'The Twilight Zone'. It makes a purist like myself downright mad. A great many actors who went on to star in other shows, such as Leonard Nimoy and William Shatner, had earlier roles on the 'Outer Limits'. Landmark performances were commonplace, such as David McCallum in 'The Sixth Finger' and Martin Landau in 'The Man Who Was Never Born". As the series ended its several year's run, weak plots and bogus monsters became more common, though occasionally a real corker like Harlan Ellison's "Demon With the Glass Hand" appeared. If there are any problems with the Outer Limits, it involves outdated gender roles and possible over-moralizing a science fiction plot. It does, however, frequently debate the role of the scientist who in uncovering powerful forces, also needing a good dose of responsibility and humanity. The Outer Limits is one of my all-time favorite TV shows even after I've outgrown it's 'Monster Appeal'. A bright spot in the 'Vast Wasteland' of the early '60s.

The Twilight Zone (1959–1964)

one word - IMAGINATION

[7 April 1999]

One of the few bright spots in the 'Vast Wasteland' of early 1960s TV. The Twilight Zone brought some of the best SF and fantasy writers to the screen. As a youngster, the TZ impacted (and SCARED) me. As an adult, it keeps alive that sense of wonder that keeps getting more difficult to find. It also takes me back to that time when the moon was still a great, seemingly unreachable mystery (along with a plethora of undiscovered technology). We haven't yet acquired android grandmothers or talked to the dead by telephone, but dreaming can be fun!