Layback Reviews

Don't Torture a Duckling (1972)

Don't Torture a Duckling?

[9 January 2000]

First off, I'll give this movie 7 out of 10 stars. So I did think that it was pretty good. But what's with the title? I see here that it's listed under its Italian title. Is the English title an exact translation? If it is, could someone explain the meaning relative to this movie?

All that out of the way, I'll admit that I was surprised by the quality of this film. It's the third Fulci movie that I've seen (Zombie and The New York Ripper are the others--Quack! Quack!) and I hadn't been overly impressed with the first two. But this one had a few scenes that I found particularly powerful (especially the beating of the woman in the graveyard). The performances were good as was the plot (although I was put off by the woman who was so bored that she came on sexually to every young boy who crossed her path). But, overall, a pretty suspenseful and satisfying murder mystery.

Exorcist II: The Heretic (1977)

As bad a movie as has ever been made!

[1/10 · 7 January 2000]

I am not exaggerating!! This movie lives on in my mind as the worst that I have ever seen! (Sorry, I don't usually speak in exclaimation points but I can't avoid it while speaking about this movie!) Some people seem to be able to enjoy it FOR its badness but not me. It wasn't funny, just ridiculous. I sat in the theater many years ago feeling completely stupified. How could they have turned such rich source material into this pile of trash? I don't know and I don't want to know. It could only have been done intentionally for some sinister reason. Did the filmakers have some kind of vendetta against the studio? Were they trying to force it into bankruptcy? Was Boorman possessed by,...oh, I don't know,... SATAN?!

Snake Eyes (1998)

Questions, questions, questions!

[8 November 1999]

1. Is Rick the only cop in Atlantic City?

2. Where did all of the FBI agents go?

3. Did the fat guy get killed in his hotel room?

4. How come those two soldiers who were killed couldn't be trusted but the other dozen people who were involved in the conspiracy could be?

5. Does the Secretary of Defense have final say in regards to how all money in the defense budget will be spent?

6. How did the place clear out so fast of 20,000 fight fans when no one was being allowed out of the building? Were Jack Nicholson and Leonardo DiCaprio there?

7. Do casinos really have 1000 cameras?

8. How come Rick was the only one who could figure out that the champ took a dive when it was clear as day on the videotape? Didn't they watch it on ESPN's Sportcenter?

9. What were those things that looked like missles doing in the basement of a casino in New Jersey?

10. What were Cage, DePalma and the scriptwriter thinking?

The New York Ripper (1982)

17 years too late.

[31 October 1999]

Psychobabble is great; "He couldn't admit to himself what he had done so he had to put the onus on the duck!"

That line got a good laugh out of me and my friend last night. It was one of many laughs caused by this silly movie. Come on! There's no way that a guy killing women while speaking like a duck would not have been dubbed 'The Donald Duck Killer' by the New York cops supposedly depicted by the alleged actors in this movie. I guess that it may have been considered shocking when it came out 17 years ago but now its just silly. But this film, and others like it, make me wonder about the reputations of Italian horror directors. I'm been disappointed by most of the ones that I've seen. Admittedly, I haven't seen that many but that's because the ones that I have seen have turned me away from seeing any more. Dario Argento has a terrific reputation but I found Susperia and Phenomenon to be pretty lame. I guess that they lose something in the translation.

The Arrival (1996)

Deserves more acclaim/Don't let Charlie Sheen chase you away.

[8/10 · 5 June 1999]

I was shocked. Charlie Sheen in an excellent movie!? I purchased this movie after remembering that it had received an excellent review, 2 thumbs up, by Siskel and Ebert. I have fallen out of the habit of going to the movie theater, instead preferring to buy movies for home viewing, letter-boxed only, of course. I've already watched it twice and I know that I'll watch it a few more times. That's my test of a good movie.

Once Upon a Time in America (1984)

Masterpiece!

[10/10 · 5 June 1999]

This movie was done in the style of Godfather II with its flashback format but, at 4 hours, it is almost as long as The Godfather Chronicles (remember, the re-edited TV version of The Godfather, combining both parts I and II?). People have complained about the length of the film but these same people would probably sit through a double bill of The Godfather. Don't let the length of this film deter you because it is probably one of the best movies that few have seen.

Mother's Day (1980)

At least 2 versions and both were reprehensible

[5 June 1999]

I've seen this movie in 2 different versions. The first time was on cable, HBO, I think. It contained a scene that I thought was the most reprehensible scene that I've ever seen. A woman is raped by 2 mental defectives while their mother watches and encourages them, shouting out directions. This scene goes on and on, while the victim is humiliated over and over. I couldn't believe the extent of the abuse and could only believe that the actress was a true masochist to let herself be subjected to this trash. It bordered on true pornography. I was convinced that the makers of this garbage must really hate women who are treated with much more class in the lowest of X-rated videos. The other version that I saw had some of the worst scenes deleted. This was the version that was for sale.

Sister Street Fighter (1974)

Dubbed in bad English

[5/10 · 5 June 1999]

This movie contains my favorite line of dubbed dialogue. When asked why she is willing to help look for another character's brother, played by Sonny Chiba, Sister Streetfighter responds with; "He saved my life once. And not only that, if not for him, I'd be dead!!!"

Five Fingers of Death (1972)

At the beginning of a trend

[8/10 · 5 June 1999]

I saw this movie on the base movie theater while in the Air Force so my affection for it might be influenced by the reaction of the raucous audience in attendance at the theater that night. But I do think that this movie was one of the first popular kung-fu movies and helped to begin the trend in the early 70's. It's worth seeing.