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4/10
Wonderful animation spoiled by political correctness gone rampant
9 January 2005
It is wonderful in these times of 32-bit bump maps and other animation "aides de compute" to see something this organic; this handmade. The colours are gorgeous, the fantasy is wonderful. So why did I leave the cinema verging on angry? It was the story. Though this is principally a children's film it goes for the jugular with a kind of morality tale I haven't seen since "It's a Wonderful Life". Don't get me wrong, "Wonderful Life" is a terrific, sentimental film from nearly 6 decades ago but even 7-year-olds today are more cynical than George Baily in Capra's film.

The basic premise in "Prophétie..." is that humans need to be nicer to each other otherwise the world will end. This is OK as far as it goes, but not even another person who said the same thing 2000 years ago made out that we all had to behave exactly the same way to achieve this utopia.

In this film the main difference between the animals on the new ark are that some are herbivores and some are carnivores - and the carnivores are forced to eat potatoes in order for them all the survive. This is has some comic point to start with, but when the fox, tiger and others start complaining that they are sick of pommes frites, the captain sings a song about how they need to pull together. Not even The Brady Bunch went this far! Everyone was respected as individuals and difference were encouraged. Here it is more "shut up and eat your spuds". Though I hope the author of the film expected it to come across more as some subtle morale to the tale, for me (admittedly not the demographic I expect he was trying to reach), this was closer to socialist propaganda of the worst 1970's sort; except it was made more addle-minded by adding even more ethically dubious green values. Lions eat meat. They always have. And they should. The world might be a better place if humans where all happy to eat their metaphorical spuds, but that's not a world I want to live in.
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Parting Shots (1998)
3/10
Fascinatingly dull
18 August 2001
This film is moving into the territory where they start to become interesting again, because they are so awful. On paper this looks like a great cast. Many of these people have carried terrific films and/or TV shows. But here it all goes west due to two major culprits - the direction and the music. Bad direction is nothing new, but music this bad, so utterly innapropriate, so undynamic, so clumsy have I rarely heard. The whole film is infected with this musak-like mire of dross that fails to accentuate anything. Someone gets killed - the strings drone on. No key change, no brass, no drums - nothing. At times it's almost like they have lifted the music from another film and not bothered to re-clip it to fit the action (little such that there is).

The direction I blame for making a talented cast look like a bunch of kids making a school play, on their second last show. There is no spark, no enthusiasm (except for Cleese who really seems to be trying), and absolutely no communication with the audience.

The only reason I gave it three rather than one in the rating here is a nice plot twist at the end (and not the entirely expected one that also happened) and one quite funny scene with Ben Kingsley as a wildly ego-tripping chef.

Avoid!
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3/10
A film in that netherworld between tediously bad and entertainingly bad
25 June 2000
The title suggests this was supposed to be in the same spirit as The Naked Gun, but the only similarity is Leslie Nielson. Drastically unfunny, even when it is technically bad. It drags like a rainy Boxing day. The sets are straight out of a 60's TV Sci-fi soap, the songs excruciatingly dull (and badly sung) and the the only suspense is how they got the money to make this low-point of Nielson's career.

Go and see a good film, like Plan 9, or Robot Monster! If you want to see a good film in the same genre (and budget) try Dark Star. Its beach ball monster shames the rubber beast in this film right back to Toyo studios.
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British TV comedy about the end of the world and circumsized missiles.
6 June 1999
No doubt much of this has aged badly since the Cold War seems well over, but Cleese's performance alone makes it worth finding. Also worth catching is the relationship between the Shah of Iran and his manservant Ahdab - a more endearing piece of subservience would be hard to imagine. Finally my favourite line is recited by one of the Soviet premiers; "Neutral countries have two options - medium or well done"! Important advice for someone living in Sweden.
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