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Reviews
Elves (1989)
A gem for bad movie buffs
Wow! I can't believe this movie exists. Just when I thought Chuck Norris was the worst actor ever, along comes Grizzly Adams. He is a department store Santa trying to stop a Nazi created elf from doing something. The elf is laughable. Characters come and go without explanation. The elf kills without explanation. Grizzly Adams acting defies explanation. The dialogue is priceless. This movie was delightfully bad. I highly recommend it. Rent it for a laugh.
Troll (1986)
pointless, defies logic
How can a movie be made without a plot? Watch Troll and find out. The movie spends little time introducing characters. In the first 5 minutes of the film, a family moves into an apartment complex. The little girl immediately drops a ball into.. the laundry room. NO!! She goes to get the ball and out comes a troll (who looks eerily liky George Bush) and takes over the girls body. Now onto the car wreck of a plot. The troll moves from apartment to apartment turning the residents into pods and the apartments into jungles. He must takeover all the apartments in order to take over the world. An ancient princess and a young boy try to stop him.
Yep, it makes little to no sense. Sonny Bono gets turned into a pod. That was amusing. Julia Louis Dreyfus gets turned into a pod and then gets naked. That was amusing as well. The troll, not amusing. The script, not amusing. Overall a painful movie in all aspects. Recommended while either binge drinking or heavily sedated.