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All Roads Lead to Rome (2015)
Close to "so bad, it's good"
No need to give away plot points, since the whole story is absolutely predictable from start to finish.
But the way it is peppered with implausible elements, almost offensive sterotypes and clichés, and a totally uninspired direction, make this movie bearable to watch only if you can enjoy unvoluntarily embarrassing, silly moments and scenes.
None of the actors seem interested in what they are doing; both Sarah Jessica Parker ad Raoul Bova, elsewhere charming, make you wonder what's even remotely interesting or attractive in the characters the play.
And it's quite painful to watch Claudia Cardinale delivering a grotesquely bad acted performance.
Close to "so bad, it's good"; alas, it's just bad.
Paparazzi (1998)
Embarrassing. Just embarrassing.
There is really not that much that can be said about this movie. Wafer-thin when it comes to the plot, it simply is a series of sketches involving a group of paparazzi trying to chase down celebrities.
The quality of the movie is non existent, and the fact that the vast majority of the alleged "V.I.P."'s (all playing themselves) in the movie have now disappeared is a testament of how useless the whole thing is.
And the whole thing looks extremely cheap, shot and edited in a very bad way, with an incongruous, random score; something that has sadly become a trademark for director Neri Parenti.
Bad acting all over the place, and this is nothing new from both Christian De Sica and Massimo Boldi, both recycling old trite gags; but it is frankly embarrassing watching an actor as solid as Diego Abatantuono can be, taking part in this anemic, embarrassing farce.
La migliore offerta (2013)
What a mediocre movie!
What a huge, huge disappointment this movie has been. It starts in the best of ways, and the mood that transpires from the first 15 minutes is absolutely promising. Then the plot keeps growing less and less logical, the suspension of disbelief required to the audience becomes just too much, and way too many silly details keep being added. Anyone can see coming all the alleged twists in the plot, way before they materialize on screen. I don't want to spoil and give away the plot, but the whole story, quite simply, doesn't stand on its feet and lacks too many logical explanation in order to properly work. On top of that, some scenes and sequences are shot in a really goofy way and had the audience laughing, and the scenes involving female nudity are shot in a cheap and gross way, and are completely gratuitous. A side note to the Italian version: all the actors are dubbed in Italian, as usual, and Sylvia Hoeks' dubbing, courtesy of Myriam Catania, is quite simply way over the top and unbearable.
Les aventures de Robinson Crusoé (1902)
(almost) Complete version found
As of October 13th, 2012, this movie has a 5.0 vote based on the ratings of 42 users. I strongly invite you not to consider those votes, for a very simple reason: the movie they have seen is actually a 1 minute black and white fragment; only recently an (almost) complete copy of the movie has been found and restored. It now runs 12 minutes and 30 seconds, and it's not black and white but actually hand-tinted. And what a wonderful movie it is! A must-see for any silent movie lover, in the spirit of Voyage dans la lune. Without spoiling anything, it contains a trick Méliès never used before and rarely since; and in just 13 minutes manages to capture the spirit of Daniel Defoe's novel, and at the same time to be a "truly" Méliès movie.
The Feast of Stephen (2009)
Pointless exercise in style badly executed
What's the point of this short movie? If it is supposed to be an homage to Kenneth Anger, then the result is really disappointing; what we get to see on the screen has been done before lots of times (ok, nothing bad in that); but what's really not acceptable about the project is that it lacks any "freshness", and looking at it, one really wonders if the final product would had ever been shown to anyone, if it wasn't for James Franco directing it. Don't be deceived by the fact that it was awarded a Teddy for best GLBT-themed short movie at the Berlin Film Festival. That, really, looks like a move to have Franco showing up for the ceremony to accept the award (he didn't, by the way), rather than a testament to the quality of the movie.
Un tassinaro a New York (1987)
Plain awful...
Three stars out of ten: JUST out of respect to Alberto Sordi's previous career. The movie in itself would deserve 2 stars. "Embarassing" is the kindest word that can be used for this movie.. Totally unfunny, almost insulting in its portrayal of "how the average Italian sees the Americans", totally unengaging in its story, the movie really seems a (bad) excuse for Mr. Sordi to show us his poorly made home-movies of his trip to the Big Apple. His acting does never to recall us what a great actor he was, though he's not worst of the pack: Dom DeLuise really seems to be in the movie just for "alimentary reasons", and the lazy and out-of-synch dubbing only make the whole mess even worse.
Masters of Horror: Jenifer (2005)
Can we really call this a return to form for Dario Argento?
Being a great fan of Dario Argento's works, I've been watching his latest movie with growing pain, as they invariably are unsatisfying, if not close to laughable. The Phantom of the Opera, I Can't Sleep, The Card Player, are all nothing more than big missteps from the man who gave us Deep Red, Tenebrae and Inferno. I was really happy, then, when I started reading enthusiastic reviews for Argento's entry to the Masters of Horror series. But, is the result really a return to form? Not really. The movie in itself is actually much better than Argento's latest works; but, that said, where's the originality? I was quite shocked by the fact that Jenifer's storyline is copied, completely, from the idea behind Raoul Servais' Harpya, a 1979 short animated movie. Point is: Harpya is a small gem of a movie, frightening, enigmatic, haunting, a Kafkaesque nightmare; whereas Jenifer is just an above-the-average TV horror movie, with some good moments, but overall bland and dull.
Frágiles (2005)
Lame, boring AND dishonest
Quickly said: the premise and unfolding of the story is predictable, even if it tries not to be. The setting, a soon-to-be-closed hospital built in a remote and difficult to be reached island, is really nothing new. And, good as she is in this movie, one has to wonder what Calista Flockhart is doing in a Spanish production. But the worst thing of all is that in the final act the movie unforgivably cheats on the audience: without spoiling it at all, during the plot, a rule have been set quite clearly. But in the end, for no apparent reason other than to give to movie a happy ending, the rule is subverted. Should the screenwriter (or the director) have been brave enough to drive the movie to its logical conclusion, it would have been much more interesting and much less annoying.
Vozvrashchenie (2003)
It's deep, moving, and it's a masterful first work!
Vozvrashcheniye just won the Golden Lion at the 60th Venice Film Festival, and deservedly so.
In this story, simple yet mysterious, linear yet haunting, a father reappears to his family after a several years absence, only to embark with his two sons on a trip, the purpose of which is clear only to him.
The elder son is ready from the start to embrace this man as his father, the younger is far more doubtful about this mean, sometimes violent "father figure", and the confrontation among the three characters will develop during the trip....
First-time director Zvyagintsev masterfully builds the tension and lets the story and the characters evolve, and his wonderful use of landscapes and savage nature clearly reminds of the works of Andrej Tarkovskji.
Summertime (1955)
I live in Venice.. And all I can say is that it's delightful
I've seen this movie quite a few times on televison, but during the 2003 60th Venice Film Festival I had the opportunity to see it on a big, big screen in a brand new copy.
Well, miss Hepburn's acting is breath taking, one of the few times she incarnates a woman so vulnerable, and she does it to perfection. And the tone and mood of the entire pic, while a little bit too "touristic", are absolutely sweet and romantic. I live in Venice, and can surely say that seeing what's on screen, I'm sure David Lean did fall in love with this city
Only one minor (really minor) flair: some scenes were filmed in winter, not in summer, since the Moors of San Marco Square's clock only appear once a year, at Christmas time (and seeing the movie on a big screen, it was possible to notice that while the Moors were striking the hours, people on the back ground, although out of focus, were wearing coats and furs)..
Pinocchio (2002)
Neither a masterpiece, nor a delusion
Expectations were high, maybe too much. But, on the other hand, Roberto Benigni seemed THE perfect actor to play Pinocchio. So it comes as a little surprise that one of the most unsatisfactory aspects of the movie is Mr. Benigni himself. Maybe a little too aged, maybe not "wild" as he used to be some years ago, maybe simply not able to direct himself in the right way, Benigni's character comes out as a little bit dull creation, too wooden in his feelings, too human in his movements. And all the movie, in the end, suffers from a little lack of feeling..
On the other hand, the film looks gorgeous, with its splendid Dante Spinotti's cinematography, the marvelous scenes and costumes by the great, late Danilo Donati, and some very inventive and well-crafted visual effects. And acting kudos go to cabaret duo Arena & Cavallari (known as I Fichi d'India) as the Cat and the Fox, and most of all to former heart-throb Kim Rossi Stuart, whose Lucignolo almost steals the entire movie.
Nonethenless, the best adaptation of Carlo Collodi's fairy tale, still remains Luigi Comencini's tv-movie "Le avventure di Pinocchio".
Non ho sonno (2001)
"Deep Red 2" it ain't... what a disappointment!
You could easily dub this movie "What ever happened to Dario Argento's talent?"... The lethal combination of one of the worst screenplays he ever worked on, and one of the worst group of actors (should we call them "actors"?!?!?...they really do not seem to know what acting is about) makes for an awful, boring, shockingly dull movie. Argento displays his undisputed bravura only in two scenes (one, on a train, at the very beginning; the other, on a red carpet of a theater, much later), but it's really too little for a movie who's intended to be the sequel to "Profondo rosso", one of Argento's most beloved films...
It's a shame to see the great Max von Sydow sink in this sea of mediocrity... The other thesps' recitation grade from mediocre to cheesy to absolutely camp, and it's really difficult to award the palm for worst actor. Gabriele Lavia simply overacts his role, constantly frowning (why?); Rossella Falk goes for the "theatrical" performance, and it seems to be not a wise choice... what should we say about the others? Dionisi? Terrible. Caselli? She seems to be in another movie. Zibetti? Well, I thought he had already given his worst in Bertolucci's "Stealing Beauty", but in "Nonhosonno" he simply outdo himself, with a performance so creepily horrible, so cheesily camp (and, jeez, let's not talk about his voice), that if the movie ever find an American distributor, he can surely make room on the mantelpiece for a well-deserved "Worst Actor of the Decade" Razzie Award...
Gladiator (2000)
Entertaining but silly...
Okay, it was entertaining... okay, Russell Crowe does know how to act and does have "le physique du role" to be the perfect gladiator... okay, both Richard Harris and Oliver Reed do shine in their roles... but how can so many people do not notice the flaws in this movie?
The screenplay? Almost non existent... The CGI effects? Good, but you can spot the fake in some of them even if you're almost blind... And what about all the historical mistakes? Commodus signing (with a pen!!!!) some documents (contracts?) apparently written on paper (but this is an old cliché)... again, a paper sheet advertising the gladiator fight (has Ridley Scott or his historical consultant any idea about how much did papyrus cost???) Let's not talk about the art direction and set decoration... is it really enough to fill any room with pillars and marble busts and statues to give a "Roman look" to a period picture? And was the Russell Crowe character so strong to walk around dressed as for a battle even in scenes where it was not required?... I could go on even longer, but let's stop here... I really expected an improvement over the movies of Hollywood's golden age, and it's sad to see that while computer graphics can do wonders, screenwriters and directors tend not to do it anymore...
Where's the spirit of the man who gave us "The Duelists", "Alien" or "Thelma & Louise"? Will it resurface in "Hannibal"?... Let's hope so...
Un sussurro nel buio (1976)
Tragically awful...
It's a pity this movie is practically unknown, 'cause it would be a serious contender to reach the top of one of those "worst movie" lists... Intended to be a supernatural thriller, in the end it's only a collection of horror stereotypes, bad actors performing at their worst, embarrassing kitsch moments (yes, those great kitsch moments that can transform a b-movie into a trash cult!), the most disagreeable couple of twin girls in movie history and a screenplay that, lacking any trace of logic and plausibility, manages instead to deliver some tragically funny (alas, unintentionally) dialogues
The only real frights come courtesy of the scary costumes (pure 1970's-style) the actors wear throughout the movie: a collection of the worst of the worst of fashion...
And the only real mystery is why Joseph Cotten is in this mess...
Jolly Blu (1998)
The return of "musicarello"
"Musicarello" was a kind of light entertainment Italian movie quite popular in the 60's, that used thin plot as a pretext to let the actors burst into popular songs, and the actors were more than often singers... "Jolly blu" seems like a revival of that kind of movies, telling us the story of Max Pezzali, leader of juvenile Italian pop band "883"...
Far from being a masterpiece, and accompanied by some very cheesy acting (particularly courtesy of Italian TV starlet Alessia Merz), the movie nevertheless is quite likable to watch, and provides the best performance to date (although it is more or less a cameo) for Italian actress-singer-showgirl Sabrina Salerno.
Yi ge dou bu neng shao (1999)
Zhang Yimou scores again!
Leaving the sumptuous style used in the works that made him a worldwide-known director (such as in "Raise the Red Lantern" or "Ju Dou"), Zhang Yimou embraces here styles and themes already treated (to great effect) in his 1992's "The Story of Qiu Ju"... and does it again!
"Yi ge dou bu neng shao" ("Not One Less") is set in rural China, and depicts real life with an almost neorealistic touch. The main character, that of a 13 year old teacher, played by Wei Minzhi, will move to tear great parts of the audience with her tribulations, without ever falling into melodramatic territories.
This movie is one to watch and remember, even if it is a little ruined by a way-too-much happy end, probably imposed by the Chinese government, that, it is said, was not too pleased with the depiction, given by the movie, of life style in rural China.
Gods and Monsters (1998)
A master class in acting, a truly act of love for cinema.
A wonderful screenplay, both simple in its plot and oozing with love for cinema (the same way "Sunset Boulevard", just to name one, did).
A trio of players giving their career-best performances (and, in Sir Ian McKellen's case, I didn't think he would have ever surpass his towering performance in "Richard III").
One of the most beautiful seduction scenes ever.
A haunting score, courtesy of Carter Burwell, that succeed, with its simplicity, in evoking the confused memories of the great director.
And the entire atmosphere... Simply unforgettable!!!
Fight Club (1999)
A very strange movie, maybe a dangerous one...
I'm not gonna talk about the plot and story of the movie, the first rule of the Fight Club being not to talk about it... One thing I have to point out: I accepted the over exaggerated amount of violence spread around the entire movie, but what was it all for? David Fincher manages to deliver an excellent movie for two thirds of its lenght, then, (don't ask my why) things goes horribly wrong and the director simply seems unable to step out of all this mess, serving up an unsatisfactory (happy?) end that leaves the viewer dubious about the entire movie.
Has it got any sense? Maybe, but frankly is an obscure one, and anyway not as smart as its characters try to tell us. It's really a pity, because visually the movie is simply superb, the audio department is heavenly and the two male leads give wonderful performances, particularly Brad Pitt in what is maybe his best work to date.
In the end, a very strange movie, with a very strange message, that will surely find disciples and adepts among the less discerning members of the audience, but that nevertheless should be seen as a potentially dangerous object from which could eventually be better keep the distance.
Holy Smoke (1999)
Jane Campion's back to "Sweetie" territories.
Many viewers will be probably disappointed or confused viewing this Jane Campion movie, especially those fascinated by her previous "The Piano" and "Portrait of a Lady". Leaving the period-drama-flavored themes of her two previous films, Campion here concentrates on the hot issues of sex and religion, serving up a movie as puzzling and bizarre, as fascinating and unique. Lacking the fluidity of what remains her masterpiece ("The Piano") and suffering from some frankly odd choices (such as the awfully undeveloped character played by Pam Grier), "Holy Smoke" nevertheless amaze the viewer providing, as in "Sweetie", not a single "likeable" character and nothing resembling an absolute truth to accept or embrace. Enriched by a powerful performance from Kate Winslet and a splendid soundtrack by Angelo Badalamenti, this is surely one to see and to let grow, slowly, inside the soul.
Il mistero del morca (1984)
A gentle mystery tale...
Set in Venice during 1930's, the movie tells the story of a band of schoolboys investigating over the disappearance of "cimbani", the tin caps they use as money. The tone of the movie is very sweet and gentle, exploring themes such as friendship and teenage-love, and providing an interesting view about real life in Venice around those years.