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hifidigitalboy
Reviews
The Manson Family (1997)
Ms. Masterson's 8th Grade Class Presents: "The Manson Family"
First off, I have to say that this movie was horrible. Amateurish is the best word to describe it as a whole. The acting was absolutely horrible. The direction was absolutely horrible. Everything about this movie was absolutely horrible.
I can tell you exactly where I first realized this: Three minutes into the movie. Jim Van Bebber has no skills as a director and should not be in the movie business. Most of the time the camera stayed on the tripod and did not move an inch. No panning, tilting, zooming, etc. Even an episode of MacGyver has better cinematography. I would have fired the director of cinematography on the first day of shooting.
Oh, and can we talk about the great special effects in the movie? When it comes to the murder scenes it looked like they were killing mannequins. It was that obvious.
Basically, the movie looked like it was shot for an 8th grade class project. It was not interesting, did not make me feel like I was having an acid trip nor did it disgust me. It made me laugh. The director is not a genius. It's a shameful piece of crap that needs to be either thrown away or lampooned on Mystery Science Theatre 3000.
The only redeeming thing about the movie is that I did not pay for it. Otherwise, I would have demanded my money back.
Planet of the Apes (2001)
*sigh* I think I want to cry
This was a BIG disappointment. I want to cry because I am a huge Tim Burton fan and I have never been disappointed until now. As everyone will agree, the visual effects and the makeup are amazing. Rick Baker and crew deserve yet another Oscar. However, this is where the compliments end. Let's go down the list of things that I have a problem with:
(1) The first 10-15 minutes on the space station looked too much like Buck Rogers for my taste. Everything was too sanitized and too white. The acting made matters worse especially when it comes accompanied by lines like "Never send a monkey to do a man's job."
(2) There was a long period after this where I was happy. Once he landed on the planet things got better until they reached Calima and it turned for the worse. Does anyone actually buy the idea that a 3,000 year old piece of equipment that crashed from space would work? Oh yeah, that's right! It's NUCLEAR powered. I guess that the equipment itself would never corrode or rust.
(3) Okay... the rest of the humans show up because they heard about the amazing human that will save them. Uh? Did I miss something? Did he do something amazing that I'm not aware of? At least in the original, Charlton Heston was the only human that could speak. This ability made him stand out from the rest. In this version, all humans could speak. What's so great about Marky Mark? That's right, he "came from the stars" to save them all.
(4) Does anyone else find it extremely cheesy that a chimpanzee lands in a spaceship and saves the day? Ridiculous.
(5) The ending reminded me too much of "Conquest of..." and "Battle for.."
I hope there is no sequel, but I'm sure there will be. I just pray that Tim Burton does not shame himself again by directing the follow-up.