Hprog Reviews

B.T.K. Killer (2005 Video)

B.T.K. = wth?

[1/10 · 26 August 2008]

Wow! What an effort, my friends. It is a policy of me not to stop watching a movie until it's over, no matter how bad it is. I almost broke my rule today with this one, but I stood there like a warrior to see how all that silliness would end.

First of all, I knew nothing about the Dennis Rader story before watching it, so when I put the DVD on, I thought I was going to see a slasher film and had no preconceptions about it.

The film starts right away without credits, and from the first sequence one could think this is going to be a soft-core/ gore type of film... forget it! It's not like that at all if you're into that kind of stuff. Instead we are delivered with terrible acting (especially when the guy talks to himself, hideous!), campy camera plays, longer-than-needed sequences, inadequate choices of songs, gratuitous and badly edited animal gore inserts and, last but not least, an absurd way to wrap it all up in less than 80 minutes.

Except for most of the girls' beauty (Danielle Petty in special) and some female feet close shots (it's my fetish, I can't help it), there's nothing you could save from this movie. Trust me, this doesn't even enter the "so bad it's good category" (I put stuff like Nightmare Weekend there heheheh).

Rating: 1/10

An American Haunting (2005)

Good new horror with some old taste

[8/10 · 24 August 2008]

A good horror film is nowadays so hard to find that you just get skeptical whenever a new one comes out. Recently, Hollywood had the need to look for Asian sources in order to refresh their stories and styles.

I love horror films, be it the psychological and (sometimes) misunderstood Blair Witch Project, the Friday the 13th and Nightmare on Elm Street series (although some entries are more of a comedy, imo) or those regarding haunting and paranormal activities.

When I had An American Haunting in hand, the first thing I saw was the cast. With Sissy Spacek and Donald Sutherland in, you could have high expectations, but I still remained skeptical, 'cause today it's very common to see good actors working for food. I had no idea about the plot's background whatsoever, so I just put the DVD on and prepared myself to watch a new horror feature, with no prejudice.

Well, despite some minor flaws, I must say I was pleasantly surprised. With a bit of a historical background, the movie develops very well and keeps you interested. The acting is very good, the effects are OK, and the camera work it's not that much of your typical "here comes a scary moment", and another good thing is that the ending, at least to me, was a bit of unexpected.

This might not be a new Exorcist or Poltergeist (this kind of films will never come back), but it's indeed a solid effort to deliver a thrilling experience using today's technology to stage an old Witch tale.

Rating: 8/10

The Lives of Others (2006)

The ghost of authoritarian regimes

[10/10 · 11 March 2007]

I've been taking German lessons for about 2 months now, and since movies were great in helping me learn English language I'm always looking for German films to watch (as well as German music to listen to) in order to educate my ears.

Anyway, I went to this place where I get all sort of rare movies and this one caught my attention... and I had no idea it got the Oscar for foreign language film this year! So I watched it without prejudice and... what did I find? A MASTERPIECE! This is the kind of movie that gets your attention from the first moment, and makes you interested in understanding the characters' psyche, which is very varied: you have the idealistic good guys, the idealistic bad guys, the people that broad their minds understanding that no political dogma is better than individual freedom, etc. And even though the movie has very tough moments it is all so well done and presented with such a good taste that in the end you feel some sort of relieved.

In this present day, when the ghost of authoritarian regimes still fly over our heads (in my country we're getting closer and closer to that reality), this movie will make you think about how important love, life and freedom are.

A must see!

The Revolution Will Not Be Televised (2003)

The resurrection of Goebbels

[1/10 · 7 February 2004]

This "documentary" is a proof of talent being used for mean purposes. The fact that it is financed by the venezuelan government gives it a lack of legitimacy in the purpose of searching for the truth of what really happened those horrible days of April 2002 in Venezuela, something even we venezuelans don't know for sure.

There are ways of lying, and the directors of this stuff lie both by omission and by knowledge.

The venezuelan political process is too complex to be easily understood by foreign audiences, and they take advantage of that. For instance *POSSIBLE SPOILERS* they show pro-Chávez demonstrators shooting at an empty street (what the hell they did that for?) in a way of saying they didn't kill anyone, but didn't bother showing the images we all saw here, of opposition demonstrators (and a journalist) falling dead or injured at the other side of that "empty" street. They can't explain why the chopper of the political police was the only one authorised to fly over Caracas that day and did nothing against the snipers that were all over the roofs of the buildings nearby the presidential palace, something that would exhibit how inefficient would be the security measures to guard the President. A few days after the "coup", the chief of the military guard in charge was asked at the National Assembly (our Congress) why didn't they act against the snipers and he said "'cause they weren't there to act against the president", isn't that a confession?

There is so much more, the fact that the highest rank military announced that Chávez had resigned and 2 days later he said he had lied because "that's politics" and nowadays is the Minister of Internal Affairs of Chávez' administration.

It would take me thousands of words to explain all the lies depicted in this "documentary", made with the intention of selling the world an image of the good old Hugo Chávez who rules for the poor and the bad rich opposition that wants him out at all costs, when the truth is that 60-70% of people rejects his government, and that percentage includes the poor.

I hope those of you who have seen and bought this will be able to see a different version that is being made by a group of venezuelan people showing no less than 30 lies.

Nazi propaganda has returned!

City of the Living Dead (1980)

Not as bad as I expected

[6/10 · 11 January 2004]

I'm the kind of guy who likes every sort of cinema, from pretty old mute films to porn. Lately I've felt like seeing classics and b-movies, so I rented this one to try some italian horror stuff, and I have to say it's not so bad. Of course it's not so scary now in 2004 as it was in 1980, but the make-up is good and could scare more sensitive people, there were scenes pretty disgusting and even one totally gratioutious when someone is not killed by zombies but for another human being (I don't wanna give an spoiler away).

I recommend it for old horror movies fans and for anyone who feels like watching some gory moments and clichés. The movie is pretty good overall but after you see it you can come to the message board and discuss the ending.

Amélie (2001)

Wonderful!

[10/10 · 4 January 2004]

I've been recommended to see this movie for quite long and finally I had the PLEASURE. I expected it to be good, but it was a lot more, it's been a wonderful experience, 'cause it's amazing how a movie can get you inside of it in such a way you LIVE the characters and the situations. It's a movie for the heart and the spirit, very uplifting, not in the dramatic way but with a fun twist. It's impossible not to display a wide smile while seeing it.

To me there was a deep personal meaning by the time I saw it, 'cause there's a girl I know (and had a crush on back then) who reminded me of the Amélie character (only less pretty) but a very dreamful young lady who lost her mother at an early age.

I won't say anything else but recommend it 100%.

Freddy vs. Jason (2003)

Like 'em? try 'em together!

[8/10 · 31 October 2003]

I went to see this movie with the intention of having some fun, 'cause let's get real, they don't scare anyone. I did like the last Freddy movie 'cause I felt it was a very intelligent effort from Craven to create a different kind of horror, and the movie seemed to have been misunderstood. On the other hand, Jason Goes To Hell was a mess and Jason X was just a little fun in space. But this Freddy vs. Jason movie is a jewel in the genre!

Ok, let's keep in mind that this isn't a movie to think much, see it more like a film for fans that will contain EVERY classic tip of the genre: gratioutius tits, tons of fake blood, the typical jokes, chasing with falls, EVERYTHING, and the best is that the plot still makes some sense, if that's possible.

Only watch it if you're looking forward to have some good fun and you really like the genre and understand it the way it's meant to be. 8/10.

American Ninja 5 (1993)

What a load of crap!

[1/10 · 7 February 2003]

Many years ago I saw parts 1 and 2 of the series and they were average action movies without great plots going on, ok but they were fun to see. Out of casuality, I was looking for info on the sequels here and read the terrible comments on this one, and out of casuality again, they showed it on local tv a few days ago. Nothing, and I mean NOTHING in this movie is good except for the landscapes of my country, which made me wonder how much did they spend travelling here to film such a piece of garbage. Terrible acting, laughable absurd fighting, predictable crappy plot, and it doesn't connect to the series at all. Oh boy, if any of you is reading this whithout having seen the movie, please don't see it EVER.

End of Days (1999)

Good for us this didn't happen!

[7/10 · 3 January 2000]

In this movie, we find the classic action features, fun situations and Schwarzenegger playing the tough guy the way he knows very well how to do it. But this isn't everything about this film, besides, it contains some horror and suspense items that make it definitely a great entertainment. We have such a good actor like Gabriel Byrne playing the Devil, reminding me sometimes of Al Pacino on The Devil's Advocate, only that Byrne didn't develop the character that much, he just did whate he had to do and very well. Peter Hyams is on charge of directing and cinematography (as usual) making a good job, specially dealing with all those special effects. Acting in general isn't such a great thing, but anyway, the movie is a great entertainment and I recommend it for that. Believe me, it has some truly scary moments, and once again, thank God this didn't happen at all!

Lost Highway (1997)

Funny how secrets travel!

[10/10 · 3 January 2000]

If any of you who read this have not seen a David Lynch movie before, this might be too schocking. In case you've had, then you know what to expect... perhaps. In this movie we find again the "lethal" combination of Barry Gifford and David Lynch, let's remember that Gifford wrote the novel that Lynch converted into the Wild At Heart movie. Well, what they give us here is definitely a wonderful mind trip. We have Bill Pullman on a great but short characterization (anyway, he's the key to everything) along with Patricia Arquette playing a couple (or maybe not) of roles that will make a mess out of your mind. The rest of cast, specially Balthazar Getty is great. Lynch's style hasn't changed, it grows more and more weird with every feature: fast shocking images, weird dialogues and very very strange situations along with a teasing soundtrack (from David Bowie to Rammstein) and an unexpected ending make this one a must for those who like David Lynch, and an experience worth living it for those who had never seen a Lynch's movie before (my warning for you is: be ready for anything!)

Wild at Heart (1990)

SHOCK!

[10/10 · 4 December 1999]

This movie is along my TOP-10 favorites. It's a shocking experience and a proof of what David Lynch's movies mean to those of us who enjoy shocking movies. It's a love story told in a different way. Great acting, great music (from Classic to Speed Metal), erotism, suspense, this film has everything you could ever want in a good movie. Two thumbs up!

The Astronaut's Wife (1999)

Good entertaining.

[7/10 · 28 November 1999]

I saw this movie 'cause I got too late to the cinema that day and couldn't see The Sixth Sense. It is not a deep movie, but it's a nice sci-fi thriller for just being a little frightened for a while and have fun. Charlize Therion it's nice although I didn't like her haircut, and Johnny Depp it's a much better actor than this.

The Blair Witch Project (1999)

Fear by fear itself!!!

[10/10 · 27 November 1999]

I couldn't wait, I saw this movie on its first day and got shocked for days and days. This is probably one of the most scary movies ever made, I love it. The actors (specially Heather) are great, and could become big time stars. Most people around me didn't like it, because they were expecting a straight horror film. I predict that the scene when Heather tapes her eyes (one of the last ones) it's just a jewel... two thumbs up!, and I predict it'll become a classic movie flick.

Sorceress (1995)

Hottest erotic thriller!

[8/10 · 12 October 1999]

When I get to see erotic thrillers I don't pay much attention to the production's quality although I appreciate it. Well, this one is a must for those who look for hot erotic stuff on films. Great quality of image, gorgeous ladies and girl-girl and foot stuff, which are my favorite items on erotic tracks. The script isn't too bad, but what would you expect from straight-to-video B-movies?

Sins of Desire (1993)

I love Tanya!

[3 October 1999]

When it comes to erotic thrillers I stop caring so much about production quality (although I appreciate it if it is present). The highlights on this one are Tanya Roberts and Delia Sheppard ('cause I love them both), and watching them together (and pretty close) justifies this feature a lot. Of course, this is a personal opinion.

Pink Floyd: The Wall (1982)

The best!!!

[10/10 · 3 October 1999]

This opinion is quite personal. This is my favorite movie of all times!. I've seen it (and this is no lie!) about 60 times. Not only I love the Pink Floyd music, but the way images come to the screen, the body expression (no many dialogues on this one), the cartoons, everything is great! Even if you don't like rock music, give this one a try, and you will find a shocking drama movie set in an unusual way.

Buttslammers III: The Ultimate Dream (1993 Video)

Great adult stuff!

[9/10 · 26 September 1999]

I'm a fan of Felicia and of lesbian and foot scenes, and this movie provides it all in one!. Great quality of images, convincing women (except for the second woman to get her foot licked)and really cool scenes definitely makes this one of the best porn movies I've seen.

Little Girl... Big Tease (1976)

Unknown erotic thriller

[8/10 · 26 September 1999]

This is an old 70's really erotic film! Why is it so unknown? Maybe because it doesn't feature Sylvia Krystel, or because it is not directed by Gregory Dark (i am a fan of most of his movies). For those of you who like erotic thrillers (even if the acting is terrible)watch the movie and enjoy really hot lesbian and foot scenes, specially for those days!