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kpmaney
Reviews
The Cider House Rules (1999)
"The feel-good abortion movie of the year!"
Tobey Macguire stars opposite Michael Caine in this raucus, laugh-out-loud yukfest about abortion and incest. Do those two issues collide in a battle of comic proportions? Damn straight, homes. Macguire gives a stellar performance as Homer, the birth abortin', white girl lovin', apple pickin' pimp daddy of Maine.
Macguire channels the spirit of Pee Wee Herman to deliver what some guy in the theater restroom called an "Oscar-worthy" performance. Macguire is complimented by Michael Caine, who also turns in his best performance since "Dirty Rotten Scoundrels." But the performance generating the Oscar buzz, as it were, is one Heavy D, the overweight lover. The man had about three lines, but all were dropped serious like a freestyle phat bomb. As you can tell, I enjoyed the film. I'm still not sure what the message is about abortion and incest, and what those rules had to do with anything, but I appreciated the cinematography and dialogue, not to mention the comic stylings of Paul Rudd. If you like abortion, incest, and Maine, with a side of hilarity, this is the movie for you. Get out of that chair. Now! And check out John Irving's latest joint. You'll laugh, you'll cry, and the 7th abortion is free!!
Project: ALF (1996)
Alf? I thought they cancelled that show.
Project: Alf. The most surprising thing about this movie is that it was made in 1996, when I believe (according to U.S. census data) a total of 5 people remembered the TV show. Well, what can you say. That wisecracking alien from Melmac is back for more in this laugh-out-loud comedy starring some actors, with notable appearances by Ed Begley, Jr. (a made-for-tv kind of guy) and Martin Sheen as the evil anti-Alf character. I also did notice the guy who plays the underhand scientist Moyers is the same guy who gives the kid the blank check in the classic "Blank Check." The plot goes like this: Bad military guys want to kill Alf for some reason, and good military guys help him escape. Along the way is the expected hilarity involving Alf interracting with humans. There is also some kind of weird romantic sub-plot involving the two good military people, a man and woman (good news for you homophobes out there). This romance ends with the guy asking his girlfriend (a superior officer) "Permission to discuss that over dinner....?" Writing just don't get no cleverer than that. Overall, a good movie. If anything, watch it for the classic line where the good military guy, responding to the accusation that Alf had caused over 300 fires in the Tanner house, says "I object! The actual number was 264, and most of those were barbecue-related."
The Wizard (1989)
"The Wizard" is, bar none, the greatest movie ever made about Nintendo and Nintendo competitions ever.
This movie, I believe, is the greatest movie ever made. "The Wizard" combines comedy, drama, and Nintendo by the truckload to form a unique and genuinly moving character study of crazy kids who like Nintendo.
The movie concerns the journey to California of Fred Savage, and his brother Jimmy(played with powerful solemnity by some kid), a Nintendo Wizard, as it were. The goal is to reach a Nintendo Competition, where Jimmy will eventually face Super Mario Brothers 3, a game never seen until the competition. Along the way, the kids gamble on Jimmy's Nintendo skill, and undergo various non-Nintendo-related adventures. Various villains include a guy who has to track Jimmy down, and Lucas, the Nintendo rival. Lucas delivers a powerful scene in which he makes mince meat of "Rad Racer" using the almighty Power Glove (which he keeps in a large protective case).
The movie really is carried by the performances of the actors. The ensemble also includes Christian Slater as the third brother, Beau Bridges as the father, and some girl as the companion to the kids, who comes up with the idea of using Jimmy's Nintendo skill to gamble. In one classic scene, Christian Slater is berated by the father for his Nintendo playing, and then Slater wakes up in the motel to find Beau playing "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles"(a lackluster title, but compelling none the less).
The movie would certainly appeal to the Nintendo enthusiasts, but will also appeal to anyone looking for a movie which tackles the serious issue of death, and healing the pain of that loss with Nintendo. The movie was released in 1989, and Super Mario Bros. 3 was not yet released. When viewed today, the ending is slightly anti-climactic, but still the emotion of the moment is still present. As far as problems go, this movie has a few. The most glaring is the slight error in Nintendo representation. For example, Jimmy plays "Double Dragon" on an arcade machine, yet he is clearly playing the Nintendo version of the game, when a different version would be played in an arcade. Also, as Roger Ebert pointed out in his review, Beau Bridges exclaims that he has reached "level 3" in TMNT, yet the screen clearly shows he is on level 1. This is a minor flaw, but kudos to Ebert for spotting that one. In no way should these flaws dissuade anyone from viewing "The Wizard." There are a lot of movies today about Nintendo competitions, but for look at the predecessor, rent "The Wizard." Truly a film classic.