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Sebastian_George
Reviews
Nine Lives (2016)
Nice Family Movie and A Must-See for Cat Fans
This film is not as bad as many reviews suggest. The people who wrote those must be dog persons. Although more people have cats than dogs, there aren't many cat movies. Most animal films are about dogs. "Cats and Dogs" had both species, but the cats were the bad guys and most of them were ugly, too. "Nine Lives" is a film you can watch with your children (no adult scenes, language, etc.) and it is a film no cat fancier must miss. Just one thing (I saw this in Germany): Even if you live outside the US, go and see the original version! The German version is particularly bad. They hired a German comedian and TV personality (the guy is NOT an actor) to do Kevin Spacey's voice and that's a cat-astrophe!
Nunta muta (2008)
Complete Waste Of Time
Despite the favorable comments left here by other users, I think that watching this film was a total waste of time. About 45 minutes pass by before the main story even begins. Thus way too much time is wasted introducing the audience to every single character. The film jumps from genre to genre without bothering to resolve every storyline it begins. At one point you may expect this to develop into a crime story, but you can only guess who the perpetrator was. The next moment the film seems to turn into a horror story but after only two scenes that storyline ends without being resolved properly. The key scene may lead you to believe that this film was intended to be a comedy. The actors had to mime everything during that part. But sometimes you can almost "see" the director telling everyone to look right / left / up or down - the whole thing is not exactly acting at its best. The comedy part ends and drama kicks in. Obviously the film makers couldn't make up their mind! The basic story line might have been turned into an interesting film, but unfortunately this chance was wasted.
Inland Empire (2006)
I left the theater
I hardly ever leave the theater before the credits start rolling - no matter how bad the movie is. Sometimes I fall asleep but I hardly ever leave. However, after 1 hour of "Inland Empire" I left the theater! This was a special preview. When I left the theater together with my friend, the theater owner made a note - she had been asked to write down how many people leave early! Three more people were in the foyer, drinking coffee, etc. They wanted to go back in eventually, but said that they needed a break....
The fact that the Polish parts of the film had no subtitles may have made things worse, but even with subtitles I doubt that I would have stayed longer. The film was in-comprehensive and - worst of all - boring! The bad quality (obviously Lynch used an old video camera to shoot this) and terrible shaky camera work made it even harder to watch.
Evolution (2001)
Better than I thought
OK, this is not "Galaxy Quest" and (Duchovny aside) it is not an "X-Files" spoof either, but still it is fun to watch - especially in the beginning.
Nice effects, numerous interesting aliens (not the kind you see in every other movie), characters and dialogue are funny, too. Duchovny is good, though Orlando Jones is much better!
Unfortunately towards the end the movie gets more and more stupid. Even the unavoidable fart joke is there - I think, we could have done without that.
All in all however, if you like SciFi comedies and do not expect too much from this one, you should have a good time watching "Evolution".
Straight Shooter (1999)
One of the worst movies I have ever seen
A German action movie, partially based on "First Blood" - this is one of the worst movies I have ever seen. SPOILER WARNING: the rest of my comment contains several spoilers! "Straight Shooter" is the nickname of an ex-legionnaire from Germany who is trying to blackmail the government. In order to achieve that he assassinates various German politicians. However, a German terrorist does not ask for money, of course! No, he wants to force the government to turn off a particular nuclear power plant. He used to live next to it and believes that this is why his little daughter got cancer and died. As a consequence of that his wife committed suicide. Since the authorities are unable to stop his killings, they want to enlist the help of his former trainer in the French foreign legion, played by DENNIS HOPPER (the relationship between Hopper and the killer is somewhat like the one between Col. Trautman and Rambo in "First Blood"). The guy is now a pimp in London and the movie opens with him beating up his girl-friend because she just told him that she is pregnant. At this point two "federal agents" from the states approach Hopper, asking him to go to Germany. Obviously Hopper was the only American actor they had. The "agent" who speaks does that with a distinctive German accent. Hopper goes to Germany to help the authorities hunt down his former trainee. There he meets the "Oberstaatsanwaeltin" ("Chief District Attorney") - an attractive young woman who looks hardly old enough to be out of law school. Hopper's first question is whether she'd like to have sex with him. You might think, how stupid, a woman like that must be able to get something better than an aged pimp, but believe it or not, before that movie is over, she does have sex with him. Obviously the director fell in love with a beautifully looking 19th century public swimming pool and therefore decided to shoot part of this film there. Unfortunately the script does not call for a swimming pool. So they let out the water, put a few desks into the empty pool and called the whole thing the "police headquarters"! The movie continues to be boring, unrealistic and full of inconsistencies. E.g. the so called "Chief District Attorney" throws up when she sees two dead bodies - like someone in that position hasn't seen plenty already. In the end the police have trapped the killer in a building, but he gets out having put on the uniform and helmet of a cop - seems the screenwriter has not only seen "First Blood", but also "Leon, the Professional". The funny part is, that Hopper, who is waiting on the other side of the street, spots his former protégé amongst hundreds of cops dressed the same way the minute he exits the building. So Hopper grabs a gun and shoots the killer from behind - you can see this from his POV, including the target. The latter suggests that Hopper actually aims at his sit-upon - and that's the end of the movie....