pknair Reviews

Superman (1987)

Best Line Ever

[1/10 · 18 November 2005]

Best line ever from a Bollywood flick: "There is something black in my lentils..." - R.K. Verma

Now, the movie is absolutely pathetic, and yes, it rips off a fair bit from the version starring Christopher Reeves, but then again, so did every other Bollywood movie at the time! Honestly, I just watched it for comedic value, and if you take everything as tongue in cheek (and maybe if you turn down the volume and speak your own dialog on top), then maybe it's almost worth watching. Not renting, mind you. Never rent this movie. Never. Ever. Please. But if you can find someone who owns, or has been silly enough to rent this film, give it a go. At least give you a few chuckles. Heck, it's got a character named "Ms. Muscle Woman from Zambia". How bad could it really be?

Now I'm off to find a new TV. Mine decided to blow itself up instead of allowing itself to display atrocities like this film.

Street Fighter II: The Animated Movie (1994)

Chun-Li vs. Vega

[7/10 · 7 May 2004]

I love watching certain scenes from this animated romp through videogame-land. Frankly, you don't often see better fight scenes than the hotel fight between Chun-Li and Vega. Amazing!

The film isn't as bloody or gory as you'd expect (the level of gore being probably along the same lines as Batman: Mask of the Phantasm). That being said, neither was the video game. They did a good job of creating a storyline which didn't try and pack too much in, although I get the feeling some of the work got lost in the translation.

There are some other classic quotes in the film, many centering around E. Honda and Ryu. All in all, an entertaining film, even if you're not a fan of the video games, however, it's still not for everyone. Really, unless you're a fan of cheezy anime, you may not want to watch this movie. Still, it ranks as one of my favourites in the genre. Much better than the Tekken or Battle Arena: Toshinden movies.

Instead of wasting your time on the live-action Van Damme movie (poor Roshan Seth and Raul Julia should never have been associated with trash like that), check out this fun little film.

Red vs. Blue (2003–2024)

Machinima at its best...

[9/10 · 29 April 2004]

The Blood Gulch Chronicles are by far the funniest examples of machinima I've seen to date. The writing is well done, the voice acting is superb, and the character development has been excellent. The action has been somewhat lacking so far, but there have been a few choice moments, and the dialogue more than makes up for the relatively static positioning of the characters. The best thing is, even if you've never seen or played Halo (the video game used to create the videos) before, you'll be able to understand the plot with no problems. You just might be a bit confused by the crosshairs...

Kudos to the team who put it together! With shows like this, machinima is sure to break into the mainstream as a viable form of producing low-cost, high-quality animated content.

Splitting Heirs (1993)

Ever watched the old Mahabharata?

[5/10 · 12 January 2003]

Well, this movie wasn't the worst I've ever seen...but it was far from the best. It was mildly amusing at times, and although the talent they collected for this film was great, the writing fell flat. Keep an eye out for some great Python-esque jokes, and Barbara Hershey is surprisingly convincing as a sex-crazed duchess, but the one real thing to keep an eye out for is the Hindu Dream Sequence. If you've ever seen the old Indian (Bollywood) version of the Mahabharata, be prepared to laugh your head off. The depiction brought back everything I thought as a kid when I first saw that movie. There were a few other jokes in there that only the British or South Asians would get, but if you're not in either of those categories (or not sufficiently familiar with either) these jokes will be lost on you. Rent this only if you're an insomniac or a die-hard fan of cheesy humour.

Don't Be a Menace to South Central While Drinking Your Juice in the Hood (1996)

A lot of laughs, but bound to disappoint some

[8/10 · 8 March 2002]

This film was an excellent parody of the newer Blaxploitation flicks of the early- to mid-nineties. Unfortunately, fans of earlier Wayans efforts, like the "In Living Color" series, or "I'm Gonna Get You, Sucka!" will find this film a little flat, and the humour can get old, fast. But on a whole, the movie is very funny, and if you follow the genre, you'll definitely recognize a few dozen (or hundred, or thousand) jokes strewn throughout the dialogue. Fans of the "Hollywood Shuffle", "Friday" and "Fear of a Black Hat" might want to check this out.

Krush Groove (1985)

Classic scenes but terrible acting and storyline

[4/10 · 8 March 2002]

This movie is worth renting for a few scenes, like seeing LL Cool J burst in and performing "Can't Live Without My Radio" during the Krush Groove auditions. Unfortunately, the storyline is weak, and the acting is terrible. However, if you're a true old school fan, be prepared for some classic scenes featuring the likes of Sheila E., RUN DMC, the Beastie Boys, The Fat Boys, LL, and so on.

Invasion of the Blood Farmers (1972)

Terrible...but hilarious!

[1/10 · 8 March 2002]

This has to be THE worst movie I've ever seen. Yes, this movie makes Ed Wood's flicks seem like Oscar contenders. Well, okay, so that's not really a judge of what's good and what's not, but you get what I mean.

Frankly, I think the movie is best described by the young blonde, walking through the forest commenting, "Hmm, it looks like it's getting dark. I guess I should turn in." Of course, you can see the sun shining high noon in the background.

Shameful. Just shameful.

Still, if you're in the mood for bad B-Movie horror, this is definitely worth renting on a Tuesday. It's about as terrible as they come, but will stick in your mind the same way the word "bunghole" will stay after watching "Beavis & Butt-Head Do America".

What's Up, Tiger Lily? (1966)

I agree with Tug

[7/10 · 8 March 2002]

I hate to admit it, but the movie is not as funny as it could have been. I did give it a relatively high rating, however, simply because it was so original, and for someone who loathes Woody Allen as much as I, the fact that this movie still made me laugh _despite_ his sexual hangups is impressive.

Besides, any bartender who tries to wed a chicken and a snake is aces in my books.