orme Reviews

John Carter (2012)

Read It, Then See It, Then Bash It (If You Must)

[5/10 · 5 April 2012]

I was really really really looking forward to this movie. I read all of the Barsoomian series when I was about 14 and loved them.

It's too bad that many of the 'bashers' on this site haven't read the books. John Carter didn't rip off Star Wars, Star Wars borrowed from Burroughs's books. As did Siegel and Schuster when they wrote "Superman" ('leaps tall buildings in a single bound' ring a bell, anyone?); a fact they freely admit.

It's also too bad the folks associated with this movie didn't trust their material. Bad sign when "John Carter of Mars" becomes "John Carter". Worse sign when the story is manipulated to provide an 'explanation' for planetary travel; there was no explanation in Burrough's book, simply a 'leap' of faith from the reader.

I didn't like the actor who was chosen to play John Carter. Too much 'pretty boy' and not enough 'grizzled veteran' for me. The Dejah Thoris actress did a fine job, but who insisted on the phony English accents? Come on, people! Maybe someday before I die someone with integrity and faith will take this project up again. Who knows? In the 1970s "The Hobbit" was nothing more than a cartoon character and then 25 years later Peter Jackson took on the material. Miracles can happen.

Read the books and remember what it's like to be 14 and thrilled. Then see the movie. Then complain.

Paul McCartney Really Is Dead: The Last Testament of George Harrison (2010 Video)

Here's a Significant Factual Error for You

[30 March 2011]

According to this waste of time and space Heather Mills was "Rita", the girl in the car crash. Quite a feat to be in a car crash in 1966 when you were born in 1968! Case closed.

IMDb says I must have 10 lines in my review. This "film" is not worth 10 lines of writing, but here goes:

Paul is not dead. John is dead. George is dead. Ringo is not dead. As of this writing: 30032011.

Go spend your time in some more worthwhile fashion.

Conspiracy theories are interesting, but this one is simply stupid.

Better, IMDb?

Hereafter (2010)

Close Encounters for the Religious Set

[6/10 · 18 November 2010]

We've seen this movie before when it involved aliens instead of the afterlife. "Close Encounters of the Third Kind" shares the following elements: people who don't know one another share a strange experience that obsesses them until they come together and resolve its source.

I actually laughed in the theater when I saw that Steven Spielberg was listed as executive producer.

Even the scenes of the afterlife were reminiscent of the emergence of the 'disappeared' from the alien space ship.

Ah well, a new generation.

I did find it interesting that the Dickens subplot seemed to imply both that Dickens had the 'gift' as well AND that George may actually be Dickens reincarnated (listen again to the finale of Derek Jacobi's reading).

I liked the movie, but I had a tremendous feeling of deja vu harking back to Close Encounters.

Knowing (2009)

Move Over, Kirk Cameron . . . .

[3/10 · 3 September 2009]

Here comes Nicholas Cage, moving into your territory. The cheesy religious movie has a new player! What began as an interesting sci-fi concept turned into a poorly written, poorly acted, poorly plotted attempt to explain Ezekiel's Wheel as a sci-fi invasion of Angels of Death come to whisk us all away (except for those, of course, who hear 'the call'). Speaking of which, what exactly were any of these people supposed to DO with the Angel of Death's 'to-do' list anyway? Rubbish.

I thought the original concept was intriguing, but as the movie progressed, the 'gimmick' didn't go any further than being a gimmick. The writing was terribly wooden, the acting was not much better, and the plot did NOT stand up after a night's sleep.

Not knowing would have been better. Three stars for an interesting idea.

Julie & Julia (2009)

Charming!

[9/10 · 10 August 2009]

I'm sorry to see several critics provide negative comments about this film simply because it wasn't the movie they wanted someone to make. This is NOT a biopic of Julia Child, nor should it be. This is the story of Julie Powell and the impact Julia Child made on HER life. I don't see why that should be so difficult to understand.

There are no false notes in this film. Everyone's performance was spot on. I particularly enjoyed 'Simka' and her bemused facial expressions throughout the film. Streep and Adams are professionals in the best sense of the word. Someone else here commented that Amy Adams is the Megan Ryan of today and I would have to agree. She is fresh, vulnerable, and extremely likable. I have never been much of a Meryl Streep fan, but her work here is delightful. It appeared that she enjoyed this role and I would love to find out that she did. There is a joy in her performance that is contagious.

Charming and thoroughly enjoyable.

Smart People (2008)

Dumb Movie

[15 December 2008]

Sorry, but Smart People isn't. The characters are not well developed, the resolution is incredibly pat. For some incredible, unknown reason, Dennis Quaid decided to try and channel Jack Nicholson for this film, which took me out of what story there was every time he was on screen.

I'm not female. Would SOME female PLEASE explain ANYTHING about the motivation of Sarah Jessica Parker's character to do ANY of the things she did in this film? PLEASE??

Apparently the writer thought he was doing one of those 1970's Jack Nicholson/Bruce Dern "King of Marvin Gardens" kind of movies. He wasn't.

It's a mess.

The Darjeeling Limited (2007)

Quirky Is As Quirky Does

[4/10 · 31 March 2008]

OK, it's pretty. Lots of nice colors. Oh, and it has symbolic elements, although some are really obvious(getting rid of old baggage) and some are less so (what really IS that whole peacock feather thing about? And didn't they do that ritual thing more than once?) Other than that, this film is a mess. The characters seem to wish they were in a Coen brothers movie, but got stuck in this Wes Anderson film instead, where Wes is just sooo tickled to be making the movie that he apparently forgot it was supposed to be seen by others.

Did you check out the 'featurette' on the DVD? Wes either had a humongo budget for this wreck or wages in India are even lower than I have been led to believe. No wonder all our jobs are going there.

In short: Take another train.

August Rush (2007)

Horrible Storytelling

[2/10 · 31 March 2008]

This is an absolutely awful movie. The plot hinges on one unbelievable act after another. (The first being that a concert cellist would climb a ladder in an expensive dress to sit on a brick wall with a man she had just met.) It goes downhill from here.

The scene in which New York becomes basically one big Stomp performance went on too long. (I got it, already!). The mid-section is an over-stylized ripoff of Oliver Twist and Robin Williams should be ashamed (if he has any sense of shame left after all the stinkers he's been in!) for taking money for this project.

The musical genius of the boy is a slap in the face to any human being who ever tried to learn music or an instrument. (I can ALMOST go along with the guitar playing -- although slapping a guitar with open tunings and harmonics doesn't really count as guitar playing.) The hoary old cliché of the misplaced vital document shows up here, but one of the most egregious (I almost said the most, but there are so many candidates for that title in this film) devices in the entire film revolves around the likelihood that A: someone could actually get to the front of the stage in Central Park from the back in the same night, B: that 'mom' and 'dad' would recognize each other simply because they are within 20 people of each other, and C: that the kid would just instinctively KNOW that his parents happened to show up right then and there without even looking behind him.

Sorry. I like magic as much as the next person and I'm willing to suspend my disbelief, but at least give me a reason to do so; don't make me look like a sap for going along with a plot that would have been rejected in any writing school or film school in the country.

I do not understand how this movie was given a green light. Yuk!

The Prestige (2006)

Misdirection is one thing; this is another

[4/10 · 29 May 2007]

Sorry, but I guess I'm going against the grain on this one. I remember when Michael O'Donoghue was writing for National Lampoon; he had a "how to write a short story" article. The thrust of the piece was -- if you get bored or can't figure out an ending, have your character get hit by a bus. This movie seems to take that approach.

The 'miracle' invention that Tesla apparently provided Hugh Jackman's character, which allowed him to duplicate himself, is nowhere referenced in the movie. The ending is a cinematic equivalent of "then he got hit by a bus". In short, I think the audience was cheated. Apparently most of the people who commented on this movie didn't mind that, but I thought it lacked integrity.

Beautiful cinematography, tortured accents, and a conceit that's actual a deceit. Not recommended.

World of Giants (1959)

I Remember This!!

[16 April 2007]

GOOD NEWS!! SOMEONE HAS SUBMITTED A PORTION OF AN EPISODE ON YOUTUBE!!! SEARCH WORLD OF GIANTS AND YOU WILL SEE IT!

I have vague memories of this show, but I do remember it. I, too, had searched for information on it and was beginning to question my own memory, until I found something that validated the fact that this show did, in fact, exist.

I distinctly remember Marshall Thompson as the main character, because my dad was always a big Marshall Thompson fan. (He always enjoyed the Daktari series, which I didn't much care for.) It's funny reading what others have to say about this series. My memories, too, are vague but vivid. I remember outdoor scenes from this show, but not what the action entailed. I remembered the suitcase, of course, but forgot about the house behind the painting.

I must be having a mid-life crisis, because I've been searching out things I saw as a small kid. "King of the Rocket Men" and "Cat Women of the Moon" are two other sci-fi curiosities that I have vivid memories of as a kid.

Isn't getting older weird?

Silent Hill (2006)

Worst Movie I Have Ever Seen

[1/10 · 28 April 2006]

Since there are so many "God, this is the greatest movie ever" comments posted here, let me speak for the 98% of the world that have never heard of Silent Hill, The Game.

This movie absolutely reeks. The plot is stupid, the characters are completely cardboard and one-dimensional. The action is about on the level with Diablo (a game I am aware of and do play).

I have been a horror fan for a long, long time. I've seen great ones and really terrible ones and this is one of the worst. If you've ever seen the "Horror Movie Survival Guide" that used to be going around on the web you'll laugh your butt off. Violations all over the place. And even that wouldn't be all that bad if they had motivation and reason behind them, but in this movie those were left on the cutting room floor.

If you're a fan of the game, have a great night out. If you've never heard of the game, go see something else; anything else.

What the #$*! Do We (K)now!? (2004)

Garbage

[1/10 · 30 April 2005]

This is one of the worst 'documentaries' I have ever seen. No one in the movie who is presented as an expert is introduced. None of their credentials are provided. The fact that most of these people are members of the cult of Ramtha is not explicitly mentioned. Trash.

Someone else here mentioned that this was a captivating multi-sensory something or other. Sorry, but Bell Labs did this much better forty years ago and they were actually popularizing science instead of this mish-mash of pseudo-science, mysticism and fascism.

Fascism? Yes. Don't forget the title to Leni Riefenstahl's famous Nazi documentary: "Triumph of the Will". Isn't that the message here? If IMDb would allow negative stars for a rating, I would provide them for this waste of time and space.

Julie (1956)

What a Stinker!

[14 January 2003]

I saw this on TV the other night and couldn't stop laughing! My wife's name is Julie and together we counted the use of the name "Julie" in the script about 125 times.

I felt sorry for the leads. Doris and Marty must have had some juicy photos to get these guys into this movie. Oscar nominations for song and screenplay? OMG!! I know the '50's were awful, but they weren't THAT bad!!

Not recommended for anyone, even insomniacs.

O Brother, Where Art Thou? (2000)

I'm a Dapper Dan Man!

[29 August 2001]

Four of my friends went to see this (two married couples). Three hated it and one loved it. I hadn't paid any attention to it when it came to the theaters, because I don't particularly care for George Clooney. With these four strong (and conflicting) reactions, I had to see it.

This has become one of my four all-time favorite movies. Never mind what the other three are. I bought the DVD and my daughter and I now quote lines while we drive, or over the dinner table, or whenever we feel a line coming on.

I recommended this movie to my sister. We never agree on movies. Her family now watches it every Friday night. I think I've seen it at least 12 times this summer, and I'm not nearly done.

I re-read the Odyssey. The Coen brother must have read it, because Homer calls Odysseus the great tactician and Everett McGill calls himself that at one point.

I've learned to play "Hard Time Killing Floor" on the guitar.

That's a lot of benefits to gain from a movie! I give it 10+. Anybody that disagrees is just dumber 'n a bag o' hammers!

The Deer Hunter (1978)

It's Not Supposed to be Taken Literally

[25 March 2001]

I just finished buying a VHS copy of the Deer Hunter at, of all places, a gas station. I hadn't seen it since it was first released, but remembered it as a movie I liked.

I agree that it's a lot longer than it needs to be, but I think that fits in with the whole notion of "epic spectacle". This is, in some ways, an operatic movie. Or maybe more like classical Greek tragedy. Not to be taken literally, much of the 'action' is symbolic. Several scenes are jarring and annoying if you don't keep this in mind. The Green Beret at the wedding is a good example. Who is this guy, why is he here, why doesn't he show a little more warmth? And so on . . . Well, if you think of other uses of this set up, such as the Rime of the Ancient Mariner it all comes a little more into focus. The same thing is true of the hunting scene, the russian roulette scene. It's all ALLEGORY written in caps, bolded and underlined. This is a major message movie about minor characters.

Take it for what it is, and it's a pretty enjoyable journey. Ask it for more than it has to offer and you'll be disappointed.