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Reviews
The Projected Man (1966)
They tried, but it's all Lembach's fault
Ok first of all, this movie sucks. But lets examine why. The proposition that a machine is capable of transforming matter into energy, storing it, and then transporting it and reasembling it is at the least intriguing. But that's as far as they take this premise. Instead of delving into what could happen if someone made this kind of machine, they break the damn thing. This could have been a good premise. Living with the responsibilty of this kind of power, and dealing with the constant temptation, ie.. the invisible man. But no.. they break the damn thing. And Lembach wants to leave. So then the doctor jerry-rigs the thing back together, and trys to transport himself. Only to have it goofed up by his beautiful but dumb secretary, (duh). Which wouldn't happened if Lembach hadn't decided to leave. So now he is roaming the country side killing people because his little experiment failed, and they wouldn't give him money. Wah. Then to make the movie worse, throw in a dry British relationship between the two semi-competent professors hired to assist him. Between their loving sessions, they make a couple of half-hearted attempts to find him while he kills off half of London. All of this could have been headed off by not breaking the damn machine, which would never have happened if Lembach hadn't left. This movie tried so I give it an honest 2 stars for effort, but it would have been better if they hadn't broke the damn machine, making Lembach leave, making him try it again. Damn you Lembach!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Diabolik (1968)
Cheap super-spy knock off
Danger! :Diabolik is packaged and sold as a sort of super spy, ie.. James Bond, Flint, Remo Williams, but instead of fighting against a national enemy, he becomes a pseudo-poor-man's hero, by stealing from the government and rich people. All the while living in a huge underground hidden lair with a beautiful, scantly clad blonde girlfriend. You'd think that would work. The disturbing difference is this "hero" goes around killing inocent people who stand in the way of his,and his girlfriend's greedy conquests. There are a few scenes that vaguely resemble real spy action movies. The rest of the movie is a sort of 60's acid romp, with a slew of unlikeable characters. Including the hard living, hard drinking, woman abusing, big nosed Valmont. You'll hate him within a few moments. And the crooked Inspector Ginko who agrees to give Valmont free unabstructed reign of all the drugs in town if he can hand over Diabolik. Add in several "what the hell just happened" scenes and you have another piece of Euro-trash fit to be forgotten. Not as bad as some, but not worth the time or the effort to stay awake throughout the movie. 2 *'s
The Blair Witch Project (1999)
NOT for the "MTV/Nintendo Generation"
First of all I really, really liked this movie. But then again I have an imagination. I thought this movie was the most thought and sensory invoking movie I've ever seen. No there aren't any quatrillion dollar special effects. The fear is much more cerebral. Anyone who has spent as much time as I have outdoors, knows how every breaking stick sounds like a gun shot, and every gust of wind sounds like an animal growl.
If nothing else, the movie is brilliant as an experiment in human behavior. To watch how confusion, fear, hunger, exhaustion, and isolation will break a person down. during my days in the Army, I've spent weeks at a time in the jungles of Central America, and know what it's like to be lost and tired, and scarred. Try it some time.
OK so the constant movement of the camera was a little much, but I never really noticed it much. If you go expecting a big James Cameron THX monster to pop out for a bunch of explosions, don't see it. Because you will be disappointed. That's why I say NOT for the MTV/Nintendo generation. There is no constant barage of light and sounds and explosions and music and CGI monsters and stuff to bombard the senses. You have to IMAGINE what it's like to hear something outside your tent at 4:00 in the morning.
If you want special effects go watch the next ready made block buster trillion dollar extraviganza. If you have an imagination, and would like to be genuinely scarred, see the Blair Witch Project. This is movie making stripped down to the basics. 8 out of 10 *'s
MASH (1970)
Masterpiece
I am a little biased. MASH is my second favorite tv show of all time, but this predecessor is really an eye opener. Showing in detail the inner workings of a front lines medical unit, it is a little more gory then the tv series. But looked at from a movie standpoint, it was quite a ground breaking movie. The overlapping dialog, the way the film cuts away to a different scene in the middle of a conversation to give the scene more impact, and the indepth characters. War is terrible, but this shows how some people managed to keep their sanity, in one of the most diabolical ways to separate a person from reality, by playing pranks, and using their wit and quips. Based on the novel of a real life MASH surgeon, this movie is a testament to the human spirit, and a must see.
Night of the Living Dead (1968)
The scariest movie I've ever seen
In this day of trillion dollar special effect riddled horror movies, Night of the Living Dead, still scares the hell out of me. Made for $114,000 (food money on most of todays movies), the black and white, shaky cameras, light-shadow contrast, and overall atmosphere, make this flick one creepy and intense watch. This just goes to show that they don't make things like they used to. Turn off all the lights, snuggle in with someone you love, and get ready to be scarred. 8 out of 10 *'s
The Skydivers (1963)
It's MANOS, from the sky
Skydivers lacks everything condusive to a good movie. No plot, no continuity, no action, no story, no intelligent dialog, no acting ability, no soundtrack, not much of anything. In the second of the Coleman Francis trio, Harry and Beth are a struggling couple, trying to run a parachute school. But Harry is messing around with Suzy. That is until Suzy's boyfriend Jimmy finds out, and decks Harry. Much to everyone's dismay, there is a freak accident at the school, which closes them down. Poor Beth finds herself in the arms of mechanic Peter. That is until Harry finds out about it and fires Peter. Meanwhile the FAA, has sent out an investigator to find out about the accident. FAA man Bob makes unwanted passes at Beth who thinks she can patch up her fractured marriage with Harry. But Oh No. Suzy, still mad about being thrown back to Jimmy, decides to get revenge on Harry.
Did you follow that? Take this indiscernable plot; throw in really bad acting, weak dialogue, poor sound recording, 5,000 continuity jumps, and plot jumps, a hand full of public domain classical pieces passed off as a soundtrack, and you've got a turd fit for the garbage compactor. Avoid this crud at all costs! 1/2 *
Jesus Christ Superstar (1973)
One of the greatest films ever!!!
This movie became a family tradition during Holy Week, starting when I was a teenager. Still to this day every year I watch this movie over the Easter weekend and it never fails to move me, and make me proud to be a Christian. An unbelieveably, talented cast, powerful symbologies and anachronisms, the greatest score ever written, unique film making, beautiful scenery, all this and more together make this a movie one powerfully moving religious experience. It reafirms my faith everytime I see it!! Watch it with your family, and get ready to believe again.
The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies!!? (1964)
One nice thing to say about this abomination
This movie makes little sense thanks to the always egotistical Ray Dennis Steckler. The acting sucks, especially on the part of the unintelligible side kick. But I couldn't help but notice the beautiful cinematography. This movie is wonderfully, however strangely, filmed. The cinematographers, a pair of Hungarian immigrants, have a fairly impressive portfolio. Vilmos Zsigmond went on to film: The Ghost in the Darkness, Maverick (one of my favorite movies), Sliver, the Deerhunter, Close Encounters of the Third Kind, and Deliverence among others. And Laslo Kovacs filmed Ghostbusters, Five Easy Peices, and Shampoo. While this movie lacks focus, plot, and just about everything else good, it is beautifully and hypnotizingly shot.
The Clonus Horror (1979)
Almost a good movie
This is a great premise for a movie. The overall plot is very original,interesting, and something to think about. However poor production, an obviously small budget, crapy acting from the main character, and several side actors really detract from this would be classic. An up and coming producer should try to resurect this story and give this basicly half hearted atempt a proper release.
Hobgoblins (1988)
Please tell me this was a joke!!!
Even for the cocaine laced 1980's this is a pathetic. I don't understand why someone would want to waste celluloid, time, effort, money, and audience brain cells to make such drivel. If your going to make a comedy, make it funny. If you want to film trash like this keep it to yourself. If you're going to release it as a joke like this: DON'T!!! I mean, it was a joke right? Someone please tell me this was a joke. please.
The Bat People (1974)
Not the worst movie
OK, don't let my summary fool you. This movie SUCKS HARD. But the worst movie ever? This movie was terrible in ways people shouldn't have to rack their brains to describe. But it is in no way worse than Manos: the hands of fate, hobgobblins, horrors of spider island, or a small handful of movies. As a review the movie sucks, it's terrible. Don't see it with out MST or you may develop health problems. But there are worse movies.
Manos: The Hands of Fate (1966)
A movie(?) beyond description
There are some movies that are beyond description for a good reason. This is not one of them. Some things are best left unsaid, unreviewed, unexplained, unmentioned and unwatched. This is one. Some movies should be run over, trampled, shot, poisoned, microwaved, burned, urinated upon, buried, and labotomized from the collective conscious. This is definitely one. At the risk of sounding repetitive, watching this movie or ones of this caliber without MST, is slowly being accepted by the medical community as the real reason for aneurisms. Hey Nate.