nicholas_blackmore Reviews

Three Kings (1999)

Intelligent action/comedy?

[27 August 2001]

If there's one thing I've learnt from IMDB, it's that no matter how much you liked a movie, someone else on this planet hated it just as much. So the negative reviews for Three Kings don't surprise me at all, because I thought this movie was absolutely magnificent.

Probably the best thing Three Kings has going for it is the low expectations one has prior to seeing it. It was promoted as an "action/comedy", and while it won't disappoint fans of that genre, it has a much deeper message that very few action or comedy films manage to get across. In fact I thought it was perhaps surprising that Hollywood produced a film which tackles a rather touchy topic (for Americans) in such a head on fashion.

The movie starts with plenty of naivety and lighthearted humour. The American soldiers complain of being bored and are have no idea about the politics of the Gulf War. The battle is over, the war is won, and all that's left to do is to take a few POWs, be interviewed on CNN and go home. Which is fine as long as they stay in base camp, but when a few sneak out of camp to pinch some of Saddam's gold, they are confronted by the realities of the war for the Iraqi people and start to suspect that the US might not be the good samaritans they had hitherto believed. The characterisations and the transition which takes place in all the characters over the course of the film is remarkably well done.

Contrary to a couple of the reviews below, the movie is not anti-American and does not "take Saddam's side" but instead encourages the viewer to consider other perspectives of the Gulf War and points out that the US's approach to the war may have done more harm than good. It's a point that has been made by plenty of commentators, but not many inside the US, and never in such an audience-friendly format. Three Kings is not only a jolly good film, but you may just learn something about US foreign policy. And if not, you can at least enjoy the exploding cow scene.

Best in Show (2000)

Cookie? Cookie Fleck? Remember me?

[29 May 2001]

'Best In Show' is a magnificent piece of work. Although it is done in the same improvisational style of Spinal Tap, it doesn't hide in the shadows of Christopher Guest's masterpiece, it charges out, paints itself day-glo orange and runs about waving its arms around. Okay, despite the tortured metaphor, the point is that this film forces you to seriously consider which is the better movie. 'Best In Show' is an American comedy done by people who get British humour, which means that we get the best of both worlds.

The humour is generally dry and understated and scores its points when the audience finds itself saying "I know people like that". To make it work, it needs strong performances and writing and Best In Show has both throughout. I particularly loved the yuppie couple - they study law, they met at Starbucks, they go to therapy, they're obsessed with labels and are abusive to shop attendants and cleaning ladies. Part of the delight is in spotting the little details, like the fact they've brought their Palm Pilots to the dog show. The whole film is full of brilliant little details - I'd go over the word limits describing them all.

Thus far I haven't mentioned the dogs, which are obviously a crucial part of proceedings, not so much for what they do but for how the humans interact with them. The way people project their own attitudes onto their dogs is priceless. The one time we see a dog act like a dog - jumping up on a person - everyone sees it as an absolute disaster. The dogs are matched to the people perfectly.

Overall, this is another top-shelf mockumentary from Christopher Guest that, IMHO, is marginally better than Spinal Tap. As Homer Simpson would say... mmm... sacrilicious.

Just Visiting (2001)

Another French classic completely ruined

[9 April 2001]

All the warning signs were there. Jean Reno already made a perfectly good version of this film in 1993. Unfortunately, Americans do not like subtitles or films set outside their own country, so Just Visiting was conceived, chiefly with the aim of milking a few more dollars from the original idea.

Unfortunately, the humour is not as good, the acting of the US supporting cast is not as good, and the plot makes far less sense than the original. Why would he be transported to Chicago? What are the odds his descendant lives in Chicago? The original was much more plausible - it was set in the same geographical area, so meeting one's descendants is not so ridiculous, and it created plenty of humour based on Sir Godefroy's shock to learn that his castle was now owned by the descendant of his moronic lackey, whereas his descendant lived in a modest 3 bedroom house.

For goodness sake, save your ticket money and get the original French version "Les Visiteurs" on video. It is a far better film.

This Is Spinal Tap (1984)

Goes all the way to 11

[29 March 2001]

As if this film needs another glowing review...

This is a quite brilliant satirical rockumentary of "Spinal Tap", acclaimed as the "loudest band in Britain". Quite an honour.

The best thing about this film is the fact that although it is evident to the viewer that the band is not very talented, original, intelligent or popular, the members of the band are completely oblivious to this fact and those around them seem too polite to actually point this out at any stage. Still, lack of talent, originality and intelligence need never hold one back in rock'n'roll, and teenage boys will listen to any old junk, so that's popularity taken care of. Watching stuff up after stuff up and the consequential blame game is throughly enjoyable.

As a satire, this comes from the top shelf, as good as The Simpsons, Canada's The Newsroom, England's Knowing Me Knowing You and Australia's Frontline. It covers all the bases - Yoko Ono, weird spiritualism, motel room trashing, album cover controversy, even choking on vomit - with aplomb, courtesy of the fact that Tap are so throughly derivative that you can pretty much have them doing every rock'n'roll cliche in the book. Some of the impact has been lost with time - there were a lot more bands like Tap around in 1984 - but the humour is far from obscure. You could do a very similar script today taking off boy bands or rap.

The DVD is one of the most feature heavy you'll find. Even the main menu is funny. The commentary on the film by the band is as funny as the original soundtrack, as they vent about how they were betrayed by Martin Debergi and who is now dead as opposed to being the head of a record company. There's almost as many scenes cut out of the original as there were scenes in the original.

You cannot claim to be a fan of satirical comedy until you have seen this film. Go out and rent it.

The Dish (2000)

Disappointing

[17 October 2000]

Given the litany of positive comments below, I almost feel guilty saying that this film isn't all that great. But it isn't.

It's most definitely a cute film, and it's most definitely got an interesting little historical story to tell. But as a story, it goes nowhere and as a comedy, it has considerably fewer laughs than The Castle.

It's probably easiest to cite the things the screenplay hasn't got. It hasn't got significant character development. All the characters, including Mr NASA, are there when we arrive. Apparently Mr NASA has ruffled a few feathers at the station, although we have no idea how because there's only one fairly minor altercation shown to us. The romance plot barely advances at all. The vague references to Sam Neill's character being married... followed by a dramatic pause suggest a big plot twist that never arrives. For all the rhetoric spouted by the characters about how bloody marvellous this whole mission is, it doesn't seem to change them. And the tension surrounding the various technical hitches is fleeting.

This film has its moments, usually when it goes for straight out laughs - the mayor and his wife, Rudy the security guard and the poetry reading are very good - but there's a lot more of those moments, and the characters share the laughs more evenly, in The Castle.

Perhaps The Castle or the film's publicity led me to expect too much, but this subject matter could've been dealt with so much better. In view of all the positive comments, I'd have to say it's worth a look, but you might want to wait til it comes out on video.

The Blair Witch Project (1999)

Absolute Dud

[25 September 2000]

I don't know about you, but after an hour of this inane movie, I was barracking for the psycho. There hasn't been a decent horror for some time now, so I walked into the cinema primed for a good scare.

Nada. As the movie goes on, you keep wondering when something scary is going to happen. Nothing does. Apparently there's a nut somewhere out in the woods. Could be a witch, maybe it's just a garden variety serial killer. Whoever they are they must get lonely waiting for people to come by the forest so they can employ their unbelievably subtle brand of terror.

Perhaps the biggest flaw is that the movie doesn't make you actually care about the characters. Their constant bickering may have been intended to be some sort of descent into chaos, but in fact it was just annoying.

Enough said? It's a dud. Save your dough.

A Simple Plan (1998)

A Stupid Plan

[25 September 2000]

This movie would have been more aptly titled "Dumb and Dumber".

I enjoyed Shallow Grave, and was interested to see how the same premise would be dealt with by this movie. You find $X million, you decide to keep it, you go insane covering it up and infighting.

The difference between this film and Shallow Grave is that almost every decision made by the main characters is totally illogical and stupid. These decisions fairly quickly pile up and you end up with a situation that is not only unrealistic but positively laughable.

Example. They kill that cop on the snow ski. The cop doesn't know about the money. Doesn't suspect about the money. Almost certainly would not have found the plane. And even if he found the plane, would not necessarily realised there was supposed to be money on the plane. So why would you then kill the cop? You wouldn't. It's just dumb.

As the movie goes on, a whole bunch of other people are killed, mostly people who don't suspect a thing - at least until they are killed or see someone else killed. It's quite ridiculous. Halfway through the movie you end up just shouting at the screen "quick - that guy doesn't know about the money - better kill him before he finds out!" and the characters oblige you.

It valuable to see how a bunch of otherwise nice, sensible, sane people descend into insanity by their greed - ie Shallow Grave. It's not particularly valuable to see how a bunch of dumb guys reacting stupidly end up killing a bunch of people - ie this movie.

Unless you are compiling a coffee table books on movies which insult the viewer's intelligence, you might want to avoid this one.

The Visitors (1993)

Blackadder does France

[21 September 2000]

Very funny indeed. People will think you're sophisticated for watching a French film, when in fact the humour is mostly slapstick, puns and the Blackadder-style relationship between a prince and his moronic baldrick, Jacquasse. The humour is not exactly Oscar Wilde, but neither is it overly lowbrow. At times you can hardly bear to watch as the pair wreck well-meaning havoc wherever they go.

The first is better than the second, but only marginally. If you like the first, the second is well worth a rent - the fire fighting scene is fantastic.

Another good thing about this movie is that its time travel over a somewhat grander scale than we're used to. None of this Back to the Future 50 year jump rubbish. We're talking 1000 years. Interesting to think how a medieval knight would react when confronted with a mail truck. Pummelling it into submission is the option our boys choose.

The Club (1980)

Waiting for a remake

[20 September 2000]

Great play, pity about the screenplay is all I can say.

This play remains one of the most insightful views into the world of sports cum business ever scripted. Even truer today than when the play was written, it paints a picture of a club having to face the fact that loyalty and honour don't mean much in the modern game, either to players or their employers. Those who don't or won't accept the new hard nosed and ruthless system seem destined to fail - although the final scene offers a glimmer of hope. The whole thing is served with a big dash of humour - the scene where the bumbling old Jock unknowingly tokes up with troubled star player Geoff and is led through an increasingly unbelievable story of Geoff's patricide and attraction for his sister is priceless.

It is a far deeper examination of the different views of the game and motives of the characters than Oliver Stone's Any Given Sunday, which is a thousand times more flashy but also considerably more simplistic and unsubtle in its characterisations.

So it is a great play, and if you don't have a theatrical of it handy, the film is better than just reading it.

But the film was made on low production values and without much desire for realism. As a result, there is a significant cringe effect, which distracts from the point of the film. The scene of Collingwood training with a total of about six guys kicking a couple of footballs around encapsulates the refusal of the producers to just go the extra few yards to make this film a little realistic.

If the play is on, see it. Such is the quality of the play, hopefully sooner or later there will be a film remake. Otherwise, see the film, but ignore the visuals and concentrate on the screenplay.

Bottom Live 3: Hooligan's Island (1997 Video)

Don't bother with this one

[19 September 2000]

Let me say first: I am a big fan of Ade and Rik, from Kevin Turvey through the Young Ones through Bottom. But this particular video is not a good example of their superb sense of humour.

Bottom, for the uninitiated, is all about slapstick, fart jokes and the tragic sadness of two complete losers. Think the Young Ones but more so. At its best, it is hilarious. This is not its best.

It's hard to explain why not, it just isn't. Not all bum jokes are equal, shall we say. They can be clever, unexpected and almost Wilde-esque, or they can be dreadfully obvious and overdone. More to the point, this video relies so much on them, as opposed to the witty repartee, random violence and sexual innuendo of the rest of the Bottom works.

If you want to see Bottom at its best, avoid this one and hire the Bottom Live 1 or watch the tv series.