Troubleboy Reviews

The Wolf of Wall Street (2013)

Over the Top and Repetitive...

[5/10 · 7 January 2014]

The movie comes in its own, briefly, when the FBI agents visit the DiCaprio character on his boat. Until that point, the film is nothing more than regenerated scenes and dialogue from previous work we've all seen before, including but not limited to: Wall Street (Gecko speech, Bud- wannabees), Glengarry Glen Ross (Baldwin speech), Good Fellas (Liotta narrative, drug use and paranoia), Boiler Room (motivate the troops), Fear and Loathing (effects of drug use).

The film may appeal to Generation Y-bother, but for anyone that actually saw the aforementioned films when they were fresh, there's not much original meat on this turkey. Parts of the film look pulled from Porky's. Quite frankly, Scorsese should be admonished for ripping off so much of other people's material and style (unless, of course, his intent was to make a tribute film to finance and banking films as a genre).

I could care less for the portrayal of debauchery - I worked in a similar sector in the eighties and it was like that, although not nearly as amped- up as Scorcese may envision. There's nothing in this film that hasn't already been explored more coherently? The film will appeal - as evidenced by the early box-office - but how it benefited me as a viewer having already viewed the other films I listed, I don't know. As the police would say, 'nothing to see here, folks.'

DiCaprio's done far better work and if he picks up an Oscar for this, well, it'll be the Pacino / Scent of a Woman payoff.

The Killer Inside Me (2010)

Jim Thompson would be Spinning...

[1/10 · 2 September 2013]

Not surprising this piece of crap could only recoup less than ten percent of its cost... what is surprising is that it's on IMDBs Top 5000 list Casey Affleck, who is about the same height as Matt Roloff and twenty pounds lighter, and regardless of his successful brother, is both banal as an actor and unconvincing as a Texas sheriff in this celluloid rubbish. Why any actor worth their salt would sign up for this, beggars belief. Not too mention the social can of worms this garbage opens. People keep reminding me it's a seriously intentioned film that addresses male-hate and male violence in the form of a nightmare. How so? What purpose does this film serve? Highlights violence against women? That's pretty clear, but I can read about that everyday in the Washington Post. Depicting graphic violence against women sells tickets? Didn't work in this case. Perhaps if it had been Casey that was getting his face punched to pulp? I might pay to see that.

Regarding the director, Winterbottom, he's about as knock-off as they come; an auteur wannabee who can't make up his mind who he wants to steal from - Kiewslowski, Roeg, Antonionii, Kubrick, and so on. So here's his hat tip to Noe and Haneke. Shame he can't hold a candle. A low-rent 'Blood Simple,' without the story, dialogue (although Casey believes he's Emmett Walsh) acting or direction. Thankfully, based on its numbers, not many people actually saw this forgettable film.

Broadchurch (2013–2017)

Twin Peaks Revisited

[6/10 · 7 May 2013]

Who killed Danny Lattimer? Superbly storied and plotted, beautifully filmed. The only thing missing from this is a credit line at the end stating they stole everything but the soundtrack from David Lynch.

Small town murder, quirky cop with odd eating habits and his naive sidekick. Masses of offbeat characters with secrets (the telephone installation guy is no more than The Log Lady). Much of the camera work has Lynch's fingerprints all over it.

'The Killing' it most definitely isn't. Hopefully, Series Two will show a little more originality and a lot less reliance on the shortness of viewer memories.

Snowmageddon (2011 TV Movie)

Better Than Most SyFy Channel Films

[4/10 · 11 December 2011]

Let's admit it, most SyFy Channel original offerings are rubbish. However, without going into the plot, 'Snowmageddon' is slightly above their usual fare with a cast that is better than average and a story line that, for the most part, holds your attention.

No improvement on the CGI though and the town of 'Normal,' where 50% of the action takes place is more reminiscent of a cluster of buildings you would find on your average farm property, than Main Street, North America, even though the story is supposed to take place in the foothills of Alaska.

All in all though, the best of a usually bad SyFy crop.

Avatar (2009)

Script by George Bush, Dick Cheney, Donald...

[6/10 · 27 December 2009]

Think back to when the Batphiles all came out of their cave and made 'The Dark Knight' the 'best' film of all-time (according to criteria on this site)? Well, the other side of the fence has raised its head and is extracting revenge. For the next several weeks, we're all in for an Avatargasm.

No-one will argue that 'Avatar' will set the bar for the future of 3D (if 3D is your bag), however that's really all you can positively like about this film. For serious film-goers, there's more to a movie than pictures and a thinly-disguised Cameron morality lesson on Iraq.

Other than state-of-the-art visuals, it's more of what we've come to expect from James Cameron - outstanding visuals, juvenile dialogue ("I see you") and an even weaker story line that's been playing worldwide for the past eight years or so.

Also, because of Cameron, at 2 hours 45, it's way over long - both in total and in individual scenes (when you've seen one Avatarian(?) flying an extraterrestrial flying whatever, you've seen them all - we don't need the extended version of it, most of which we saw 30 years ago in Star Wars and most recently in Jurassic Park, et al.

Halloween II (2009)

Even the post-Carpenter 80's/90's Halloween's Were Better Than This Dreck

[1/10 · 13 December 2009]

More mindless rubbish form the mind of Rob Zombie.

This time around, Zombie picks up where his first disappointment left off - with Laurie Strode transferred to the hospital and struggling to escape her loony brother.

This follows a similar theme to Carpenter's second 'Halloween,' with no plot, lots of thunder and lightning, the usual psychiatric garbage and the requisite killings, heightened this time around by graphics and audio and distinctly lacking in tension.

Zombie tops himself early with discussions of necrophilia and implicates 'Howard Hesseman, Margot Kidder, and - AND - The Moody Blues' in his nonsense with endless playings of 'Nights in White Satin,' but beyond this, it's the same old, same old.

The movie will appeal to Zombie Nation (the 14-21 crowd), but not many others.

Before he wastes his time on H3, Rob needs to rent the original to learn how to do it right. Score this one: amateur film making running amok.

To further add insult; Zombie product places one of his relatives in the film.

For Sale by Owner (2009)

'Identity'-wannabe

[6/10 · 10 December 2009]

The schizo plot is an interesting concept, but it's been done before and to much greater affect in 'Identity.

'For Sale By Owner' plods along at the pace of the river that it's set against and Tom and Kris, pretty much, email in their performances.

The male and female lead - whose names are forgettable - at least to this viewer are wooden and uninspired.

I gave it six for location, but there's no tension and the film is repetitive (doors that slam and lock by themselves, shadowy movement behind the main characters, etc).

This film won't enhance any careers.

Harper's Island (2009)

Twin Peaks Wannabe

[7/10 · 29 November 2009]

OK... so it's not the above, but somebody scanned David Lynch's fingerprints and put them all over this extremely inventive 'Ten Little Indians" miniseries.

Yes, it got a bit derivative after the 12th or 13th killing, but it still maintained pace and interest throughout. And, even though the ending about 'why' everything happened was telegraphed about 5-6 episodes in, it still finished with a better finale than most medical, police special unit, or series-ending shows than we've seen in many a year have.

However, what's great was that it beats the crap out of having to watch all that "Look at Me" TV - talent / reality show rubbish that we're being spoon fed these days.

Brothers & Sisters (2006–2011)

Can You Say: Thirty Something...

[2/10 · 20 January 2009]

..., except even more banal?

Another dysfunctional family apparently representing today's America, including a loony daughter as a conservative talk show pundit (gee, that's unique) although Flockhart's about 3 lbs heavier, but no less irritating than Ann Coulter.

There's no difference between this mob - their problems - and all the other sea of 'look at me' family-based reality programming TV. How it garnered Golden Globes and has survived three seasons, one can only wonder.

'Huff' and 'Six Feet Under' were head and shoulders over this dreg.

The Dark Knight (2008)

Gotham City now Cliché City

[7/10 · 25 July 2008]

I've seen this movie once, but I've seen its make-up a hundred times elsewhere; Fox and Alfred introducing Batman to new gadgets in James Bond; 'unstoppable force meeting immovable object' (haven't heard that before); semi-trailers and high speed car chases through big city underpasses (that's creative, which 'Die Hard' or 'Terminator' did they clip that from); high-flying cable wiring and and bombs on hostages (how unique), my home town of Hong Kong in the story line (every second action film does that now); and, Joker standing down Batman in the street (seen that before in the first Batman!).

And, as for the pre-Oscar chat for Heath Ledger; well, any reasonable actor can play a half-baked idiot, just ask Tom Hanks (Gump) and Russell Crowe (Beautiful Mind). Nicholson was head and shoulders a better Joker; as was Tommy Lee (Two-Face).

This movie will set box office record from now until doomsday; my burning question is why? It's not that good and its all been done before.

The Happening (2008)

Day of the Triffids meets A Clearly Gullable Paying Public

[3/10 · 9 July 2008]

At approximately 90 minutes, this in and of itself is a rip-off. However, cap it off with 'B' actors, a meandering story that gets forever to get wherever it's going, and a ten-minute denouement filled in with ex-lip syncher, Marky Mark, walking the streets of wherever and a TV shrink explaining the whole story to us over a five minute interview - and utterly - predictable ending and... well, you have the usual M Night dreg (Sixth Sense notwithstanding).

Nature isn't the only thing getting away with murder in this film - as I've written before, if The Sixth Sense hadn't been M's first film, none of his other POS' would have ever seen celluloid.

Give it a rest M, you've been scamming us for too long!

War of the Worlds (2005)

War of the Worst... and More Plot Holes than a Downtown Detroit Street

[2/10 · 3 July 2005]

Has Steven Spielberg really stooped this low? Or, is this a logical conclusion to a building collection of dreck he's put out over the past ten years. Hard to believe this is the same filmmaker that put out 'Schindler's List.' So much 'suspend your disbelief' (and your intelligence) - Ray is the only person to get a car running during the initial attack; Robbie goes over the hill into an onslaught... and makes it; Ray gets his family on the boat even against the odds of 5,000 people pulling a stage rush; Tim Robbins opens his house to Ray and kid, but no other humans can find it. It goes on and on. The human lobster trap from which Ray sets all humans free by use of grenades is so unbelievable it's embarrassing. Shame on you, Mr. Spielberg, I would have thought you gave the movie viewing world more credit.

No fault to Tom Cruise - he was simply playing Tom Cruise - cocky ('ever see me deal') limited intelligence (how come he pretty much always plays borderline dummies?). And, what's so great about the little blond kid? One high-profile appearance, some throw-away one-liners a lot of screaming and we're all agog with awe. Can you say Haley What's-His-Name? Geez, we're so easily enthralled.

Nice effects though. Very 'Independence Day / Day After Tomorrow.' Could have used Randy Quaid to give it some credibility.

The best part of this film was Gene Barry and Ann Robinson.

The Village (2004)

A Director Riding on One Hit

[2/10 · 27 December 2004]

M. Night Shyamalan is the perfect Hollywood example of the one-hit wonder that Hollywood keeps pouring more money into in the hope lightning will strike a second time. Luckily for M. or Night or whatever it is, he left this drek and 'Signs' and 'Unbreakable' as his most recent offerings, otherwise 'The Sixth Sense' would never have have seen the light of day.

Without going into the plot, which is basically 'we have seen the world and it is bad, so let's hide out in our houses until, say, the second coming.' Followed by 'oops, somebody's breeched the perimeter' Kind of like in 'Children of the Corn' and fifty other films since the days of Christopher Lee and Peter Cushing. Although better, and in less time.

Nope, M. is a director of Halle Berry proportions - a one note pony that Hollywood continues to bank on despite limited and repetitive ideas.

Catwoman (2004)

More big budget dreck from our friends in California

[1/10 · 24 July 2004]

Nice to look at, probably real nice to hold . . . but "Monsters Ball' notwithstanding, this decades over-rated eye candy, Halle Berry cannot act to save her life. Name one film, other than the above, where she has risen above below-average? Gothika? X2? Die Another Day? Swordfish? X-Men? Well, I'm running out of ideas . . . The Flintstones, perhaps? The sad part is, she's got six more films in production. Spare me.

This is the worse depiction of Catwoman ever, inclusive of the animated series. Who directed this? Michael Mann under a pseudonym? MTV 1, Quality Film making 0. No, it was Pitof. Excuse me, Pitof? He of absolutely nothing but Vidocq.

Pitof has now directed two movies more than I have.

At least Vidocq had Depardieu, which is a quantem leap over HB.

Rates as low as 'Daredevil,' and I didn't ever think that any movie would accomplish that in my lifetime.

Weak plot, inane acting, bad camera. Frances Conroy? I guess Lee Meriwether had the good sense to turn it down. Sharon Stone? Last decades eye candy.

One word summation: Hollywood.

The Godfather Part III (1990)

Magnificent Finale to the Series

[24 February 2004]

Actually, I don't see what the big deal is with Sofia's performance in this film - I thought it was as good as anyone else. Considering they looked at Winnona R and Madonna prior to Sofia taking on the role . . . excuse me, outside of her videos when did Madonna ever turn in a good performance? Oh well, to each their own. Frankly, I didn't think any given actor was that great (certainly not Oscar-worthy), although Mantegna was pretty good in his usual David Mamet-sort-of-way.

The scene in the Vatican courtyard was almost embarrassing from the priests perspective - way too many "go on, my son"(s) during Michael's confession.

Having said that, the build-up on opera night was impressive and the death of Mary was one for the ages and guaranteed to make any parent suffer.

As usual, the music was fantastic (with a little Elvis C thrown in for toe-tapping).

Not the best of the three, but it's had legs.

Gigli (2003)

Ben, Do Us All a Favour: Quit Acting and Become Mr. Lopez

[1/10 · 1 August 2003]

He's made one good film (Good Will Hunting), she hasn't made any, so what did we really expect: Bad(da Bing).

Bad acting, bad dialogue, bad (and unfunny) jokes. Insipid storyline.

The Jennifer Lopez marketing machine rolls on. But, as we all know, it's not about quality in Hollywood, it's about money. Stay as far away from this POS as you possibly can, you'll be a better person for it.

This is not just ordinary bad in a 'Bad Boys II' sort of way, but a hypnotic, black hole of a movie that sucks reputations, careers and goodwill down its vortex. Rarely has a movie that doesn't star Madonna achieved such a skin-crawling mixture of deluded 'look at me, I'm a star' and bungled humour.

Bad Ben plays a low-level Italian-American enforcer, living in Los Angeles, who is named Larry Gigli. To signify his retro macho values, he wears striped bowling shirts and a pompadour of a Grease extra, shrugs and waves his hands and shouts a lot. In the mob world he inhabits, apparently devoid of other Italian-Americans or opera fans, no one can pronounce his surname which, he explains "rhymes with 'really.' " Creative writing at its finest.

Soon the humour really begins to boil. Gigli's perpetually irascible boss Lou (Lenny Venito) assigns him to kidnap the teenaged, brain-damaged younger brother (Justin Bartha) of the district attorney in an attempt to pressure him to drop charges against a New York gang boss.

Back at his one-bedroom apartment, Gigli yells at Brian, who spouts obscenities back until the doorbell rings. Enter Bad Jennifer Lopez, whose major contributions to the film are front and back cleavage. She calls herself Ricki, and she has been sent by Lou to make sure that Gigli doesn't screw up his assignment.

Her character, devoid of any believable history, quotes Sun Tzu (yeah, right!) and threatens unruly teens by sashaying up to them in her miniskirt and describing a fictional martial-arts move that tears out the visual cortex and deprives its victim of all visual memory.

Watch this movie to completion and the procedure may actually sound tempting.

The scene with Al Pacino as the New York mobster, is a lesson for all in truly large-scale bad acting. Initially, Pacino vamps like a swish fashion designer and then spends the rest of the scene bellowing (gee, there's a stretch).

Apart from the movie's wordy, tasteless dialogue, awkward pacing and tacked-on ending, the biggest failing is the misguided celebrity casting. Both Affleck and Lopez are light-as-a-bubble presences, marginably bearable when attached to stronger actors, but they're hopelessly out of place in a character-driven black comedy.

Battlefield Earth (2000)

I've seen Far Worse

[14 April 2003]

I don't know what all the negativity is about.

'Wrath of Khan' notwithstanding, 'Battlefield Earth' is as good or better than any Shatner/Nimoy movie effort. The effects are top-notch, the plot line is as good or better as any space/futuristic movie in recent memory, '2010 (The Year We Make Contact),' 'Red Planet' and 'Mission to Mars, and the fourth installment of the 'Alien' saga (so bad, I forget its name)'

Contrary to wide spread and popular belief, the acting is supposed to be 'over-the-top.'

However, if you want to compare apples to apples, this Travolta movie is head-and-shoulders better than 'Stayin Alive' (grossly mis-directed by living legend, Sly Stallone) and that piece of dreck he made with Lily Tomlin a few years back.

Maybe, just maybe, discriminating (hah!!) North American movie goers can't handle their aliens in dread locks and carrying a sense of humour. They need believable entities such as Hillary Swank in 'The Core' or Tommy Lee Jones in "Space Cowboys.'

When the Clock Strikes (1961)

Wonderful Little 'B' movie noir (if there is such a thing)

[7/10 · 27 February 2003]

This is an excellent little B-movie that takes place over the course of a few days at a place called Cady's Lodge.

The story revolves around several characters gathering at said lodge to mark time until the execution of a certain bad seed by the name of Frankie Pierce, who is receiving his just desserts one Friday evening down the road at the local penitentiary. The characters are all there for their own reasons and everything plays out to its logical conclusion.

The acting is bad; the dialogue even worse - "you tryin' to give me the creeps!?" and "rain or shine, one glass of beer."

But, for some bizarre reason the movie holds you with its genuineness at being nothing more or nothing less than 70 minutes of good old B-movie mystery.

Daredevil (2003)

Don't expect this movie to turn into a Franchise

[2/10 · 14 February 2003]

Ben Affleck's best career move beyond this film would be to become Mr. Lopez, because they're not gonna be lining up to give him any $10,000,000 leads based on this piece of rhubarb.

It pales in comparison to Spiderman and can't hold a candle to most (excluding the most recent) Batman offerings. The plot is uninspired, there's far too much 'Love Story'-type music and the action is Jackie Chan (circa 1990) - what exactly was the point of that insipid ballet in the playground?

Bullseye is a mediocre villain at best and the less said about KingPin the better - he does smoke a mean cigar though.

Next on the tee, Incredible Hulk.

Thank God It's Friday (1978)

Good all-around fun

[7/10 · 11 May 2002]

I remember seeing this movie several times in the theatre (the town I grew up in only had two screens, so . . . ) and contrary to what Leonard Malten, who hasn't really said anything positive about any movie post 1975, might say, it's alot of fun to watch.

The movie was (my opinion only) intended to cash in on the disco craze (coming out right on the heels of Saturday Night Fever), promote a number of Casablanca

Records stars (Donna Summer, Commodores) and get Casablanca into the movie

biz.

I watched it again recently (May 2002) and was surprised to find, other than the fashions of the time, the film has not dated much at all; none of the dialogue would be out of place today and the music has been revitalised in numerous recent films (54 and Boogie Nights) and through club dj's (remix).

Jeff Goldblum is at his shallow best and gives a great performance he'll pretty much repeat 20 odd years later in The Big Chill. Look for, and give me anytime, a young Debra Winger in one of her earlier roles, and see it with someone old who won't poke fun at your choice of taste.

Can't Stop the Music it's definitely not.