valmont666 Reviews

Camp (2003)

"Fame" goes to summer camp with an amazing result

[10/10 · 16 August 2003]

I originally wasn't going to compare this to "Fame", but it's kinda inevitable. Don't get me wrong...I love "Fame" and will always love it, but "Camp" just had something about it that stuck with me. I guess it's just more relatable for me. In my high school plays I was the "honest to God straight boy" among the fag hags and the gay guys. I wasn't always as lucky as Vlad...but that's a story for another time. Anyways...the songs in the movie (original and broadway showtunes)were hella rad. The cast just completely blew me away, especially the girl who played Dee, my favorite character in the movie. All around awesome movie...these kids have very promising futures with their talent. "Camp" is definitely my new favorite movie.

Ken Park (2002)

Weird, but in that good Larry Clark way

[14 July 2003]

There's no getting around the fact that this is an odd film. There's not much of a plot which means the movie solely lies on the characters. That is a good thing. All of the characters are real and (well at least three of them) are sympathetic. You care for them and feel bad when s**t hits the fan for them. The acting was superb by all of the young cast, especially Tifanny Limos. Larry Clark always seems to find the best unknown actors for his films and many of them have gone on to bigger things (Chloe Sevingy anyone?). Now the big issue about this film, as his last film "Bully", is it's unrated nature. I didn't want to really get into the whole sex thing cause that's not what the movie is all about, but what the hell. There were a few shots that were really unnecessary such as watching Claude's dad take a piss, but other things seem to fit in well for the storytelling. The infamous masturbation scene was to show how screwed up Tate was with the whole fine line between pleasure and pain thing. The end threesome was to show that even though these kids have been put through s**t for the past day they can always rely on each other to help them forget their problems. This is Larry Clark's most controversial film, but not his best in my opinion (I think "Bully" is), but it's still awesome. It's realism at it's best. I love Larry Clark's work and can only hope to someday be a film maker like him that breaks the taboos and pushes the boundaries of censorchip. This movie is like the American "Y tu Mama Tambien" with it's views of sexuality and today's youth. The writer, directors, and cast should be very proud of themselves. I pray for an unedited theatrical release because i would love to see "Ken Park" on the big screen

She Gets What She Wants (2002)

Colorful, funny, and a little different than other teen films

[10/10 · 8 January 2003]

I have been aware of this movie for sometime now. From it's production state, to it's now third pushed back release date. It took me forever to track down a copy of it, but it was worth it. This movie is less like the popular teen films of the 90s like "She's All That" and "10 Things I Hate About You", and more like the darkly comedic and often overlooked "Drop Dead Gorgeous". The performances are great, especailly by Piper Perabo who is now fully redeemed for "Rocky and Bullwinkle". Jane Mcgreor also turns in an excellent comedic performance in her debut film. Both the girls have promising careers in their futures. Yes, there are many stereotypes in the film, but they do work as a comedic affect. Let's face it, America likes to make fun of two kinds of people. Texans and the French. This movie does a great job at both. The only thing needed now is a THEATRICAL RELEASE! SOON! This movie is too good to stay shelved or end up straight to video.

Happy Campers (2001)

Daniel Waters does it again. Why no theatrical release?

[10/10 · 8 August 2002]

This movie was completely hysterical. It took me a while to actually get my hands on a copy of it, but now it has a well deserved place in my collection. Daniel Waters brings us another underrated teen comedy that is destined to find a following just like his now cult classic writing debut "Heathers". It completely annoys me that New Line continues to release crappy films, yet sends this comic gem straight to video. It is definitely one of the best teen comedies to come out in the past few years. The entire cast is great, and James King is friken HOT! Well worth a rental and a buy. Thank you Daniel Waters for making another contemporary classic wrongfully overlooked. Now how about a "Heathers 2"?

Queen of the Damned (2002)

Addictive and visually beautiful

[10/10 · 25 July 2002]

I've seen this movie countes times now and still can't get sick of it. It's like a frickin' drug. I know a lot of people don't like it but there's something about it that just draws me in. Every single performance is spectacular, but Aaliyah is the one who steals the show. She not only played the role of Akasha she became it. Her body movement and beauty was captured exceptionally well. It's also nice to see that a black girl was chosen for the role of an Egyptian Queen (No, I'm not predjudice against white people, I am one). True it's not known what color the ancient Egyptians really were but this was a nice change. Stuart Townsend completely made me forget about Tom Cruise's portrayel of Lestat and Marguerite was striking once again. All in all it was a good time at the movies. For those who haven't seen it, be sure to watch it with an open mind and not take it too seriously. I mean, it's a movie about a vampire who becomes a rock star. Take it as that.

The Sweetest Thing (2002)

Awesomely Bajigetty!

[9 July 2002]

This movie was HOT! I'm buying it as soon as it comes out on DVD. My friends and I saw this movie when we were at Disney for spring break and we all fell in love with it. We also fell in love with the word "bajigetty". It was used by Christina Applegate in the bathroom scene at the club. We're not entirely sure what it means but that doesn't matter. This movie was hysterical. I'm never a huge fan of Cameron Diaz but she was irresistible in this film. As evident in Cruel Intentions and this film, Roger Kumble can get Selma Blair to do anything. Christina Applegate redeems herself after her show "Jesse" turned into some made for tv chick flick. GREAT FILM!

A Beautiful Mind (2001)

It's just not very good.

[21 May 2002]

This movie was so overrated and boring. If I wasn't loaded with sugar filled skittles I would have completely fallen asleep. Russel Crowe was passable, and that means a lot coming from me because I loathe Russel Crowe. Jennifer Connoly did NOT deserve that oscar. She wasn't that good, what is wrong with you people! Dreamworks again bought out the Academy Awards just like they did last year with that overrated Gladiator starring that person I despise. Ron Howard did NOT deserve the oscar either. He shot the movie in order, why is everybody praising him? One thing I learned in Media Class is to never shoot a movie in order. It wastes money and creates time problems. That was stupid of him.

Moulin Rouge! was completely robbed for best picture! Robert Altman was completely robbed as best director for Gosford Park! God, I hated A Beautiful Mind.

And Your Mother Too (2001)

The way a teen film should be made. Take that MPAA!

[10/10 · 19 May 2002]

This movie was so freakin' funny. My friends and I were cracking up through the entire thing. It was so refreshing to see an unedited teen film about sex. I recommend this to all young people to see. Where I live they were only allowing in 18 and older but thankfully they let me in since my birthday was only two months away. If you haven't seen this movie find it somewhere around you. It cracked me up. I'll never look at a pool the same way again.

Dangerous Liaisons (1988)

Good adaption, watch "Cruel" first.

[13 May 2002]

I really enjoyed this adaption of the classic novel. Glenn Close was awesome as always. The only reason I actually sat down to watch it was because "Cruel Intentions" is my favorite movie and was interested in the original story. If you're an eighteen year old like me or younger I suggest watching "cruel" first. With my previous knowledge from it I was able to watch "Dangerous Liaisons" and completely understand it. Although I am completely in love with Sarah Michelle Gellar and her spectacular version, I do recommend this version. It's extremely true to the novel and the play.

Citizen Kane (1941)

just a little boring

[27 April 2002]

Okay, just because a movie is long and old does not make it good. Citizen Kane is a decent film, but extremely overrated. It drags on forever. Certainly not the best movie ever made. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying it's bad, just not as good as people say.

A Walk to Remember (2002)

Not a dry eye in the audience

[10/10 · 25 January 2002]

This movie was so sad. The packed audience I watched it with was blubbering three quarters of the way through it. I know this is kind of a hybrid of She's all that and Here on Earth, but I really enjoyed this movie. And no, I'm not a thirteen year old girl. I'm a seventeen year old guy who was semi-dragged to see this by three of my lady friends. At the beginning we were all making fun of the movie and stuff but by the end we were all silent. A perfect date movie and one of the better teen movies of recent years. Who'd a thought Mandy Moore could act? And, yes, she does sing. But it's in the school musical so it's not all that outlandish.

Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982)

Decent film that should never have been released with the Halloween title.

[8 August 2001]

True, this movie is kind of campy and odd. But it's not that bad of a film, especially coming from the 80s. I love all of the Halloween movies and I never want Michael Myers to die. So, yes, I was dissapointed when I saw this movie years ago and saw there was no shape. The only mistake this film made was being released under the name of halloween. If it would just have been released as Season of the Witch everyone would be so much happier. This movie is entertaining enough and semi-scary. Although I did not like the fact that the characters were watching the original Halloween in it.

Crazy/Beautiful (2001)

Give Kirsten her Oscar now

[10/10 · 30 June 2001]

This movie was amazingly powerful and nothing like any other teen film to come out in the past decade. Kirsten Dunst was just awesome. She got overlooked by the Academy for The Virgin Suicides and hopefully that will not happen again. She does a total 180 from Dick, Bring It On, Get Over It, and Drop Dead Gorgeous. I think It's about damn time a teen movie got an Academy Award. The last one to accomplish this, If I'm not mistaken, was Carrie 25 years ago. And that's debatable on whether or not it was a teen film. The story wasn't totally original but it turned a typical plot line into entertainment with different twists. And although the two main characters were teenagers who had sex they pulled it off because they showed them stopping for a condom. Yes, teens do use condoms. Jay Hernandez was extremely good for his first major film role. The debut writers did an excellent job with the dialogue and creating characters in a movie that are so realistic to people I know. It was also refreshing to see Adults have decently written parts in a movie like this. Give Kirsten her well deserved Oscar or at least an MTV movie Award for Best Female Performance. It didn't look like she was acting drunk. It looked like she was downright loaded. Taryn Manning also did an excellent job as Kirsten's best friend.

Valentine (2001)

Friggin Awesome

[10/10 · 3 February 2001]

Okay now, walking into this movie you should know what you're going to be seeing:"Some dumb ass white movie about some dumb ass white girls getting their white asses cut the f*** up". This movie might not have been to original but it sure was a hell of a lot of fun. The death scenes were some of the best ever depicted in a horror movie especially one in particular when a girl gets thrown through a shower and doesn't really make it out alive. This movie isn't another SCREAM rip off as some people might think, it's more within the lines of HALLOWEEEN and FRIDAY THE 13Th. Which isn't a bad thing since those movies are now horror classics that spawned neverending sequels, and boy does VALENTINE have sequel written all over it. You'd have to be not paying attention for the last twenty minutes to not know who the killer was although there is a twist at the end that is confusing to some, but excellent just as well. If you're looking for the new movie that's gonna redefine the horror genre than look somewhere else. If you're looking for a fun and scary way to spend 97 minutes watching a movie in the tradition of those great 80s slasher flicks than this is definately the movie for you. Even if you're not this movie is at least worth the matinee price to see the cool death scenes.

Cruel Intentions 2 (2000 Video)

It may be campy but I still Love it

[10/10 · 25 January 2001]

This movie, unlike the original, was a flat out comedy. I loved it. It's not nearly as good as the original but who cares, it's still alot of fun. By watching this movie you can see why the show MANCHESTER PREP never made it on the air. Not because it's bad but because it's very R rated. Amy Adams was excellent in the role of Kathryn Merteuil, although not as good as Sarah Michelle Gellar, but pretty close. Keri Lynn Pratt is just hysterical at playing the volnerable virgin. Especially when Kathryn teaches her how to ride a horse: "Up! Down! Back! Forth! Faster! Faster!" . The ending itself is pretty cool and we also learn how Sebastian got his journal. This movie also has something else that the original didn't have: nudity. Although THe deleted scenes of the first one had a few seconds, this one has two sisters taking a shower with Sebastian. If you're looking for something to compare to the first cruel intentions then this isn't it but if you are looking for a fun guilty pleasure then you found it.

Lovers Lane (2000)

The story is as old as dirt but the movie is pretty fun

[17 January 2001]

Lovers Lane was an entertaining horror movie. True the story is played out beyond belief but it doesn't really matter here. The acting is surprisingly good for a straight to video slasher flick. One of the great things about this movie is that the blond chick from saved by the bell the new class gets topless. Another great thing is that Anna Faris, Cindy from SCARY MOVIE, makes a really hot blond. If you're in the mood for a horror movie somewhat like those lovable 80s movies then this one is definitely worth a rent.

Dracula 2000 (2000)

Best Dracula movie ever.

[10/10 · 23 December 2000]

This movie is definitely the best Dracula movie ever made. Although I loved the 1992 Dracula movie this one just blew me away. It wasn't really an adaption of the novel by Bram Stoker, but a variation that held a few qualities of the book. I had been anticipating this movie for a very long time and I wasn't disappointed. Who'd a thought Vitamin C could act? The rest of the cast was awesome too, including Dracula himself, Gerard Butler. I was especially impressed by Jennifer Esposito and how great and unappreciated an actress she is. I really liked the similarities with the novel that were sprinkled through the movie such as Dracula being able to turn into a wolf, having his three bitches, being able to turn into fog, and of course the ever so popular line : I never drink..... wine, of course it got updated to coffee. Don't listen to any reviews and go judge it for yourself. It's totally worth going to the theater

The Brotherhood (2001 Video)

campy: YES crappy: NO

[8/10 · 11 December 2000]

This movie certainly wasn't one of the greatest but it was decent enough to pass a boring saturday night. The cast wasn't the most experienced in making a movie but they sufficed. The storyline was pretty interesting and it was more skilfully written and directed than most straight to video independant films. Although the last few seconds were a bit corny. All and all it wasn't that bad and it's destined to have a small cult following. Would I add it to my movie collection? Yup.

Cruel Intentions (1999)

Awesome

[10/10 · 6 December 2000]

Along with Jawbreaker, American Pie, and The In Crowd, this is one of the best teen movies ever made. It's not tamed down in the least bit, and it's proud of that fact. Dangerous Liaisons is one of my top ten but it doesn't even compare to Cruel Intentions in the way of seductiveness and pure evil. Sarah Michelle Gellar does an Oscar worthy performance as the main character of Kathryn Merteuil. It is so great to see her out of her good girl roles in buffy, scream 2, and I know what... I would compare her performance to that of Glen Close's Madamoiselle Merteuil in Dangerous Liaisons. Ryan Phillipe has never been so believable. Reese Witherspoon was great at playing the innocent child of virginity. And if you don't at least crack a smile a Selma Blair's hysterically funny performance there is something wrong with you.