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Reviews
Wing Commander (1999)
Stop casting Freddie in anything where he doesn't die
Horrible movie. I'd have rather spent 2 hours watching someone else play the original Wing Commander game on a 386. I'm now certain that the ships flew through the incredibly large plot holes to get from place to place. Its good to see that in a couple hundred years from now humans are still using mini disks for data storage. I'm sure that the same "briliant military minds" that sent wave after wave of disposable foot soldiers against mele attack aliens in Starship Troopers were responsible for the ships in this movie. The Rapiers look like they were pulled from the Smithsonian institute and WHY don't the capital ships have some sort of missile defense!? Submarines 20 years ago could at least drop decoys in the water to confuse torpedos. Apparently in the next couple hundred years we forget how to do that. In one scene the Tiger Claw is hiding near an asteroid when a Kilrathi destroyer flies overhead. For some reason you can hear a pinging sound. I take it this is supposed to be the ping of active sonar (like in submarine movies) the problem with this is that sound doesn't actually travel through a vacume at all so sonar wouldn't actually pick up anything, ever. Also at this point Paladin is telling everyone to be quiet. There could be an Iron Maiden concert going on on that ship and the destroyer wouldn't be able to notice. Apparently it's taken for granted that the viewing audience is going to be to stupid to pick up on things like that. I've read in a couple other reviews that scenes with the Kilrathi were thought up at the last minite. I completely agree and would go further to say that these scenes should have been cut. The Kilrathi looked idiotic. Godzilla looked more realistic than them and he's SUPPOSED to look lame. Another question, why are piolets used as marines when they make the raid on the Kilrathi ship? All in all this was a horrible movie. I realized that I haven't written about the acting done by Freddy prince and his special friend Matthew Lilard but I don't think my comments would make it past the censors.
Nemesis 2: Nebula (1995)
Please not another one
Ok the first one of these movies was bad but making a sequal is going to far. One the other hand it had nothing to do with it's predecessor. The first 1/2 an hour is all spoken in an African language and isn't subtitled. It is impossible to tell what anyone is saying and after about 30 seconds you stop caring. The "alien effects" were done by smearing vasaline on the camera when ever they filmed Nebula (the bad guy). The only thing worse than this movie was Nemesis 3 which was pretty much just footage from the second one scrambled out of order. I think they were supposed to be flash backs. The only notable thing about this movie is it had a member of the production crew with the unfortunate name Yolanda Squatpump.
Traffic (2000)
Should be thrown into....Traffic
This is one of the most boring movies I have ever seen. It just kept going and going and going. Two and a half hours of some of the most boring, disjointed, detached film footage I have ever seen. Sort of like cops but without the drama. From the trailers you would think that it was an action movie. Very misleading. Less action than a lawn bowling tournament. (Spoiler) near the end when Douglas falters during his speech I was honestly thinking "Wow, even he's board with it". I would have fallen asleep but I was afraid that my snoring would wake others.
Wo hu cang long (2000)
Beautiful
This was one of the best movies I have ever seen. The plot was interesting and the acting was excellent. The movie had an aesthetic beauty to it that is unlike anything I had seen before it. The fighting was well choreographed and parts of it brought a surreal light to the film (ie, the wall running and the flying). I would recommend this movie to anyone who's old enough to read the subtitles.
Speed 2: Cruise Control (1997)
c**p, complete c**p
The only thing good about this movie was the fact that it wasn't longer. This had it all, fiberglass sail boats exploding, 14 year old deaf girls falling in love with 30 year old dumb men and a computer programmer that gets copper poisioning from the "electro magnetic field produced by computers". I think there's certain questions that movie makers need to ask themselves before they make a movie, like "will this still be a good idea when I'm sober". That's right folks the answer in this case is "NO". This movie had more plot holes than the first one and didn't have the added entertainment of Keanu "acting". The best acting was done by the jar of leaches that the mad bomber carries around with him to "clean his blood". I'm deeply frightened by the fact that people will think it's believable that a oil freighter can be blown up by an aluminium float plane pontoon.
My faith in humanity is shaken by the fact that there's people that produce movies like this and try to pass it off as entertainment. It was entertaining I will admit, but not for the reasons that the producers intended it to be (I think).