gaussgoat Reviews

Star Wars: The Rise Of Skywalker (2019)

An epic force and the end of a saga

[10/10 · 23 December 2019]

Let it be known; JJ Abrams has completed what can only be described as a virtually impossible task. He has completed a 40 year journey that inspired a generation of fans, a new form of film making, and brought us into a space opera that is both wildly fantastic and intensely personal.

I honestly have no idea why this movie is getting rough reviews. Surely the weight of impossible expectations is weighing it down.

This movie has everything you could ever hope for in the finale of the Star Wars saga. Exotic locales, space battles, narrow escapes, humor, old friends fighting together, the call of the dark side, the serenity of the light, and the narrow space in between. It is perfectly blended together and I believe, as time persists, that this will be regarded as the finest movie in the entire Skywalker saga.

"True fans" will lament the things that could have been, paths that weren't, convenient happenings, and everything else... but don't listen. Elate in the incredible moments that abound here, and know that the world of Star Wars is about to get a whole lot bigger.

Go see this. Enjoy it. Smile at the good parts and marvel at the action. Be inspired by the heroic journey of Rey, the rebellion, and take heart that the cycle of Skywalker has reached an ending... and a beginning.

Shazam! (2019)

A damn good super hero movie and a much needed lift for the DCU

[9/10 · 7 October 2019]

I had ZERO expectations heading into this movie, and I am pleased to report that Shazam delivers across the board.

Yes, the movie is a super hero origin story, and it comes with all the trappings therein (a scene from the past with future consequences, a hero struggling to find his way, a morale dilemma, etc)... but the beauty of Shazam! is that it KNOWS what it is and plays to its strengths brilliantly.

Shazam is, ultimately, the introduction of a mostly unknown hero to the world who is, for the comics educated, insanely powerful and is effectively the only hero in the DCU who can go toe to toe with Superman... but who cares? Because the movie is REALLY about Billy Batson and what he brings to the table.

Zacary Levi is absolutely brilliant in the lead role. This guy NAILS this character in a truly meaningful way, by making you completely forget that Captain Marvel and Billy are played by two different people.

David Sandberg deserves huge credit for making a movie that is mystical, fun, bright, and yet impactful all at the same time.

I HOPE TO GOD that DC doesn't squander this marvelous (ba dum ching) opportunity to inject Shazam! into the broader DCU. It will be incredible to see this guy on screen with some of the more brooding characters.

Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (2016)

Batman vs Superman - You've taken your (second?) step into a larger world

[7/10 · 27 March 2016]

BvS is a really ambitious movie from a Director (Snyder) who has proved that he can tackle very complex story-to-screen adaptations (Watchmen). The end result is a movie that I suspect will be very re-watchable and contains so many seeds that it will obviously be a linchpin of the new DC Universe. It has some warts, but its glory moments are in fact glorious.

Here's your 6-8 sliding scale of how you'll enjoy this film:

6/10 - I know nothing about comics. The action is OK, but WTF is going on? Who are some of these people? I need more info because the sudden jumps in story are really disorienting. Also, why is everyone so mad? Why is this movie so depressing? Comics aren't dramas guys. Why aren't Batman & Superman just like they always are? Also, turn down the damn music.

7/10 - I dig the DC films. Oh wow, Ben Affleck crushes it as Batman, Gail Gadot is so good as Wonder Woman, and this story is really interesting. I wish I knew more about some of the stuff they are hinting at, but maybe more is coming? The fights are really cool and I like how the characters mesh even though it feels a bit dark. It was really great to see Wayne doing some stuff outside of the cave. Just, maybe, turn down the music a little?

8/10 - Holy crap! Affleck didn't suck as Batman and is super jacked! That Batman fight scene against bad guys is amazing! Superman is so cool! That crazy dream/sequence that hints at (#$@#redacted@#$#) and maybe even (!@#classified) was nuts! Luthor was actually cool and man oh man Wonder Woman! I'm so psyched they laid the foundations for Justice League by showing (spoiler) and (spoiler) and even (spoiler)! My ears are bleeding from the music and sound effects but maybe just maybe DC is starting to figure it out!

So yeah, not nearly as bad as the critics are saying, not by a mile. This movie will stand the test of time and has some scenes that you will never forget, ever. Go in with an open mind and I think you can really enjoy it.

P.S. Nitpicks for Mr Snyder: The nigh-endless "insert Lois Lane at story point" moments. Amy Adams is fine, but man, there's got to be other ways to make Clark have moments. Also, do we need the smash into the ground every time Supes lands? Come on man, he doesn't need to crater on every landing, lol. How about a soft one? Maybe a touch less uber-loud music at points, take it off of 11 and put it on 9 brother.

-Gaussgoat

The Counselor (2013)

Ridley Scott fans be advised

[7/10 · 25 October 2015]

Look, if you're reading this on IMDb, chances are you're a) a huge Ridley Scott fan and b) wondering if you should see this low-rated movie with the high powered actors.

Here's the deal. As with most nebulous soul-searching dramas that come out now days, this movie is underrated. It is packed with powerful acting and social commentary on the things that drive people in modern America.

However... this movie is bleak. I mean, REALLY bleak. If you need plots that resolve and/or result in some kind of uplift, this is not the movie for you. This movie could easily be titled "Downward spirals and the rare few who profit from them."

If you like hardcore dramas which are character driven and not wrapped up pleasantly, you will really like this movie. It is not without its flaws, but Fassbender and Pitt are amazing. Be warned that it is not a show stopper, but well worth a rent if this is your bag.

If you're expecting something with a compelling story and/or a good popcorn movie, stay the hell away from this film. It is legit depressing.

Divergent (2014)

Neil Burger gets the important things right.

[7/10 · 23 March 2014]

As a parent who has been taken into some fairly painful movies, I wasn't sure what to expect with Divergent. I absolutely loved Neil Burger's Limitless, so I was really hoping that he was going to not inflict too much pain on me here. Fortunately for me, and very happily for my daughter, Mr Burger has delivered a solid film that, while it doesn't shatter any expectations, does a nice job of bringing the material to life.

Divergent's strongest elements are the wonderfully actualized setting of post-apocalyptic Chicago, and the strength of the varied cast, particularly our young leads. Woodley and James do admirable work as the Heroine and Hero of the film, and I think there is some legitimate chemistry between these two. Burger does a nice job of understating things early on, but showcasing a growing bond between the two as the film progresses.

There are some truly great moments on screen throughout. Divergent could have been an utter bomb with the amount of personal soul-searching that goes on, but through an admirable combination of pacing, character development, and fine detailed world building, Divergent never gets too preachy for its own good.

There are a few weak moments here and there. The film definitely has a bit of bad-guy monologuing, and you have to wonder where the hell the scene that defined some nefarious back room dealings was, particularly with the star power in this movie. Some exposition at the end is a little uninspiring, and some of the plot is not what one would call a twist.

Rough spots aside, the great moments well outweigh the bad. The movie also really steers away from any kind of brutal violence of any kind, as this is easily one of the best PG-13 movies I could recommend for parents in ages. In addition, Woodley's Tris is a wonderful heroine for girls. Tough, complicated, smart, and she doesn't give up.

Go ahead and take the family to this one, you won't be disappointed. It may not win best picture in 2014, but Divergent delivers where it needs to and is definitely entertaining.

Wolverine and the X-Men (2008–2009)

Slick, innovative and fun

[9/10 · 27 October 2011]

This hidden little gem is easily one of the best animated series in past several years, which is saying something in light of several quality titles that have emerged recently.

Wolverine and the X-Men offers something truly different, with an innovative plot line that redefines existing relationships and turns current comic continuity on its head.

With a mixture of solid voice acting, great animation, and wonderful pacing, this series pulls off a great look at Marvel's Mutant team.

Check this out! What might seem like yet another foray into the world of the X-Men will leave you pleasantly surprised.

Primer (2004)

Mind bending story Combines with excellent characters

[9/10 · 6 February 2006]

If you're here reading about Primer, you probably already know what I'm going to tell you... but I'm going to continue anyway. Primer may be one of the best movies I've seen in some time, and is all the more remarkable for the story behind the story.

Shane Carruth has crafted an amazing story, full of intriguing technical references, rich characters, and excellent dialogue. The "fly on the well" manner in which the movie is presented adds to the mind-bending effect it has on the viewer.

In addition to the film's other elements, Primer's pacing is just about perfect for it's content. The movie starts innocently enough, and hauls you quickly into the rabbit hole for an ever darkening experience.

While I'm sure not everyone will love this movie, anyone who does still appreciate original film-making without 8 million rounds of expended ammunition will be in love. Do yourself a favor and give it a shot... you won't be disappointed.

Much Ado About Nothing (1993)

Excellent adaptation of the Bard's commedy

[9/10 · 10 June 2003]

Mcuh Ado About Nothing stands out in my mind as the best film adaptation of Shakespeare's work to date. The big thing that sets this film apart is that the actors all ACT. Even if you have no idea how to read/hear Shakespeare, it is very obvious to the observer what is going on. This is, in my mind, the clearest indication that the play has been done well.

The cast is excellent across the board. Anyone who says Denzel Washington is not a good classical actor is CRAZY. Braunagh and Thompson are both excellent, and Kenneth really out does himself here.

Great flick; check it out.

Oh, special mention goes to the set; incredible job of putting you in a Shakespearean setting.

Dungeons & Dragons (2000)

Just shoot me...

[1/10 · 5 February 2001]

In what can only be described as the worst movie made in the past decade, Dungeons & Dragons will leave you begging for mercy.

Hands down, the biggest contributor to the demise of this movie was the script. It was litterally the most insulting, inane dialogue I have ever been treated to in a movie.

Props arrive next in an extremely close second. The 35 Million dollars used to make this film must have been used on late night taco runs, because the quality of the props is abyssmal. The "prized artifact" of the movie looks like it fell out of a box of cracker jack, while some of the armor and backgrounds are straight out of the Bargain Bin at your local toy store. Better attempts at fantasy film making have been shot on camcorders across the globe in people's back yards.

The acting was terrible all around. The few, and I mean FEW, attempts at serious dialogue were crushed by the worst script ever. The only remotely cool character in the entire proceeding was Demadar, who was still pretty goofy. I guess if I was 8 or so, I might have thought he was creepy. The notably great actors in this film should have balked the moment they saw the script/quality of filming, and their presence on the screen only adds to the insult.

Th producers of this movie should be ashamed of themselves. Hundreds of thousands of loyal D&D fans have been waiting for over 25 years for a great, inspiring movie from their hobby. D&D has a prodigious level of material written about it, and any one of it's 100+ books would have made a better movie if read aloud by Pee Wee Herman.

This horror show of a movie will no doubt ensure the demise of a great hobby in the public eye for at least the next 10 years. Any potential fan of the game will be unable to forget this awful movie experience. Consider yourself warned, and never, EVER see this movie.

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (2000)

A wonderfully complex and refreshing movie

[8/10 · 5 February 2001]

In what can only be described as one of the most breath-taking and original movies in years, Wo hu zang long is sure to pleasantly surprise and intrigue any viewer.

Woefully typecast as a "kung-fu" movie, Wo hu zang long is a complex, deep, and thought provoking drama/love story, set against the beautiful and mystical lands of ancient China. The main characters, of which there are several, are all wonderfully portrayed. The complex motivations and interactions of the cast is a long overdue contribution to recent films, and any viewer will feel themselves hanging onto their seat as the plot twists and turns. Bitter enemies reconcile, and the certain future becomes very uncertain several times throughout the course of this film.

The cinematography of Wo hu zang long is amazing. Clearly, this film was crafted rather than made, as even the most banal conversations are shot from pleasing angles, views, and shadows. Action is heightened, characters are emphasized, and nothing is missed by the camera.

The action sequences of this film are nothing short of amazing. The marathon fight between Michelle Yeoh and Zhang Ziyi is one of the best showcases of martial talent ever captured on film. Yeoh in particular demonstrates an awe-inspiring level of skill in her art.

Wo hu zang long will leave no one dissapointed at the theater this year. Even the most crazed action fans will be pleasantly surprised by it's depth, as will the "please not another Kun-Fu movie" crowd. Do yourself a huge favour, and see this movie on the big screen, as it was meant to be seen.