Scufovo Reviews

2 Broke Girls (2011–2017)

I always give a show 2 chances...

[1/10 · 2 May 2012]

...and this one failed both times. I watched this show having seen neither of the leads in anything, so I don't know if they can act, based on this, I'd say no.

To be fair, it could be the absolutely dismal writing. It's a tricky line to find, getting both intelligent and least common denominator humor. This show doesn't seem to be trying for the intelligent part. I curse David Mamet, because he writes everything intelligently, with snappy dialog; unfortunately, every hack with Final Draft on their Mac sitting in a coffee shop thinks snappy=smart and vulgar=funny.

What was the infinite monkey theorem? If a billion monkeys typed for a billion years, one of them would produce the works of Shakespeare.

One of the other Monkeys wrote this tripe.

In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (2007)

It has finally happened...a film worse than Congo!

[1/10 · 9 April 2009]

Such a pity that it won't let you give a zero star rating. Wow, what a catastrophe! This guy Boll must have a cash printing press in his house, otherwise I cannot imagine how he could assemble a cast this good for a film this bad. I bought this DVD at a dollar bookstore, and I am considering demanding my money back.

A train wreck...no, calling this film a train wreck is an insult to train wrecks everywhere.

I honestly think I could get this cast together for a dinner party, film it, and come up with a far more watchable movie. I'm begging you, don't throw away two hours of your life.

10 stars for the cast, 0 stars for...well, pretty much everything else.

Hell Below (1933)

Dive, Dive!

[6/10 · 9 June 2007]

It's funny, I am diving the wreck of one of the ships they sank for the movie tomorrow. The former USS Moody, a WWI destroyer. The filming locations list Hawaii, but not California.

A pretty good movie, nice tension, so-so subplots. I enjoyed it. Jimmy Durante was an interesting piece in the mix, he almost pulls you out of the plot at times, but then he meshes perfectly at others. The tension between the CO and XO worked well.

Pretty intense death scenes for 1933. I thought the self sacrifice ending was a trifle predictable. Films of this time period used this device with a little too much frequency. It's sometimes tough, critiquing a film that was made that long ago.

Still, overall, a nice piece of film making.

Accepted (2006)

Ask me about my....

[8/10 · 19 August 2006]

This is what movies should aspire to. Funny without being totally stupid, a little sexy without having every female in the cast show her boobs, biting without resorting to 'f-bombs' every line. I've been seeing Justin Long pop up in a lot of films over the past few years, I figured with the right role he could break out. (Mac commercials not withstanding.) This film just might put him on a fast track to the A list. The rest of the cast also did their jobs perfectly, this is an excellent little film with a nice message. (But you don't need to buy the message to have a good time.) Lewis Black is, as usual, hilarious, and Blake Lively is a fresh faced beauty.

Take a couple hours and see this film, they will not have been wasted.

Dirty Love (2005)

What?

[22 November 2005]

I saw this, and for the life of me, cannot remember why. THE WORST MOVIE EVER MADE. Every single comment that praises this film has got to be from people in it, I took a look at the box office, all but 2 theaters showing this film dropped it after it's first week.

It grossed $58,000 dollars.

That's not a typo.

$822 it's second weekend. Eight hundred and twenty two dollars. I made more that weekend.

That's not a typo, either.

Gigli is Oscar-worthy compared to this.

Not one of the characters were remotely believable, which wouldn't matter so much if they were funny. They were not funny. Perhaps this will be the torpedo that sinks what's left of Jenny and Carmen's careers, but I doubt it.

Chicken Little (2005)

Wow, just...wow.

[4 November 2005]

I saw this film three weeks ago, and thought it was amazing. We got to see a trailer in digital 3D, and it looked pretty good.

Last night, I saw a midnight screening, with the whole film in 3D, and it was even better. With excellent voice casting, the film is a delight. A great update on the fable, lots of fun, catchy tunes, what more could you ask for? Digital 3D. Old school 3D ran at standard motion picture frame rate, 24 frames per second. This runs at 148 a second, no headache, no fuzziness, it just feels like you're...there.

Incredible.

Go to the film, don't take anyones word for or against, and you'll be happy you did. A great movie.

Wedding Crashers (2005)

Wow

[15 August 2005]

OK, this just leaped past Old, school, Something about Mary, and Meet the Parents to third place on my all time funniest list. (Still behind Animal House and Caddyshack.) Everyone is spot on, and spot on funny. It's a movie I'll have to see again, to see what I missed while laughing during the first viewing.

I'll not summarize the plot, save to say the title sums it up pretty well. I can almost guarantee that Vaughn and Wilson will be taking home MTV awards for best buddy team.

Damn funny, clever movie. A few excellent cameos, and Christopher Walken.

What more could you ask for?

Madagascar (2005)

Penguins, Penguins, Penguins!

[8/10 · 30 May 2005]

There really should be a rule. Or at least common sense. Don't post things on the internet if you don't have a clue what you are talking about.

(See previous posts- "Andy Richter as the Penguin leader", "Louis Armstrong's 'Born Free'"?) It was a funny movie aimed at kids, with a few good adult chuckles thrown in.

I am eagerly awaiting at least a Penguin short on the DVD, if not a feature! The lemurs were also highly amusing, I enjoyed the jungle rave. The celeb voices were OK, but really could have been handled by any solid voice talent.

For those of you who were upset at the cost of tickets, it's a cartoon, see a matinée.

Spring Break Shark Attack (2005 TV Movie)

How bad can it be? Very bad, indeed!

[21 March 2005]

A third grader knows more about sharks than the people who made this catastrophe. A first year film student knows more about movie making.

Minor spoiler below

I know everyone has to start somewhere, but if any of these actors make it big, they are going to dread the day that Jay Leno drags up this clip from their past. They couldn't afford Lindsey Lohan, so they got a cute redhead who looks like her. Love the ending, she's walking around the beach with her arms crossed; what, the budget was so low they couldn't afford a Wonderbra?

And for those of you who someday have to pull a speargun spear out of your friends shoulder, just push it on through. That 3 inch barb on the end will tear most of his arm off if you try to pull it out the way it went in. (By the way, divers never come out of the water with a speargun loaded and cocked, much less store the gun that way.)

El Stink-a-roo!

Wild Bill (1995)

Not that wild about it!

[7/10 · 31 August 2003]

OK, I'm biased. I was in this film. So I should love it, right? When we were making it, it seemed very cool, and everyone was excited. It sat for a year, and then when it came out, awful. Just terrible. Everyone in it was over-acting. (In our defense, that's what they asked for on the set.) And the story sort of...rambles. I am going to avoid a long rambling review, since I was, 'Gambler guy who walks in front of Bill as he gets out of the stage in Deadwood', my opinion may not be entirely free from favoritism.

A great time shooting, a bad time watching. Oh, well, they can't all be Oscar winners. (I think we were heading for the Razzies!)

Hey, we had fun, anyway!

Gigli (2003)

So bad I can't imagine releasing it on video!

[7 August 2003]

If I gave my 8 year old nephew a camcorder, and he taped his friends on the school bus, the result would be a more watch-able film than this...this...whatever.

I would rather be nailed to a burning building by my...well, than sit through 10 minutes of this waste of film stock. Anyone who is giving this a review that is not crushing owns stock in Sony, didn't see it, or they have a perverse sense of humor. I'll give serious odds that it sweeps the razzies. I cannot see how Sony will be able to justify spending the money to press dvd's, it's that bad. The term 'train wreck' doesn't begin to do it justice. Worse than Congo, because it's not funny-bad, it's just, 'I'm angry, and I want my 2 hours back' bad.

Signs (2002)

If you want reality...

[19 August 2002]

**POSSIBLE SPOILERS**

OK, I don't mind when people have a legitimate gripe with a film. I do mind when I read comments in reviews like, "It was extremely irresponsible for Shyamalan to make a movie without giving any thought at all to its credibility and believability." Uhhh....if I may make a brief point...it's about crop circles and an alien invasion! Until I have an alien in MY pantry, I'm gonna have a slight believability problem. That said, I thought this was a very good film. Not up to the Sixth Sense, but enjoyable. Mel was solid, the kids were excellent, and Phoenix was funny. And as for the plot problems...hey, maybe the aliens were just stupid. I know a guy, works at Boeing aerospace, he designs solid fuel rockets. He has locked himself out of his house three times. (That I know of, I have a key, so I get the call.) He walked into the street, and was hit by a car, broke his leg. Yes, he's an actual rocket scientist, and he wandered into traffic. My point? Real smart people do real dumb things, why not real smart aliens doing real stupid things? Astronauts need locksmiths, too.

I liked the movie, and loved the bat.

4 out of 5 stars

The Thing (1982)

In-TENSE!

[13 August 2002]

OK, first things first. I was stationed in Antarctica, 1987-1992. We loved this film! (Our only beef was the helocopters, we used Orange Hueys, not Olive Rangers. Otherwise, the detail was amazing. I can say, beyond a shadow of doubt, that the best way to watch this movie is to see it "on the ice".)

That said, what a great film. For sheer, grab you by the guts terror, and that unnamed dread that sometimes creeps up on you, to the forboding sense of doom, this movie is one of the most dark, exciting films I've ever seen.

Every actor in this turned in a taut, intense performance, and Mr. Russell simply shines.

Great movie.

Jaws (1975)

Can't top it.

[10/10 · 17 June 2002]

The best way to watch this film.

OK, buy a small cabin cruiser. Say, 25 feet. (Hey, I didn't say the cheap way, just the best way.) Get a 19 inch TV, and a dvd player. Put your boat in the marina; tie it to a pier, as long as it's in the water. Cuddle up with someone you like, grill some fish, have some wine, pop some corn...turn the volume up, feel the boat rock, as the theme comes up...perfection!

Spoiler, Last paragraph

OK, with the DVD out now, watch this film a few times. Watch each and every character. Down to the extras. You won't find a weak performance. The deputy, the chief's kids, no matter where you look, everyone is solid. (Even Peter Benchley, in his first acting role.)

The late Robert Shaw was a marvel in this piece, again, Oscar-worthy. Roy Scheider, Richard Dryfuss, everyone was at their best.

Mr. Spielberg did an amazing job, most assuredly Oscar-worthy. This is the only movie I've ever seen where the audience leapt to their feet and gave a standing ovation at the end. (When the shark blew up, and AGAIN when credits rolled.) And a rousing cheer when Hooper popped up from below.

I've been to theaters where the audience clapped, cheered, groaned, and had no reaction. Never before or since have I seen a legitimate standing ovation for a film.

What a great movie.

The Deep (1977)

And the award for best support goes to...Ms. Bissett's T-shirt!

[16 June 2002]

OK, I need to vent for a second.

There are times when reading other users comments on these films when I have to ask myself...did they actually watch the movie? Or did someone tell them about it? Because, all too often, I find comments like "There is also a fight between Gossett's and Shaw's top men involving chainsaws that is quite tense. " Again, did they watch the film? Or perhaps this was written by the most mechanically dis-inclinded human on earth, who can't tell an outboard motor from a chainsaw.

OK, off my soapbox.

Now, about the film.

Some of the best underwater work ever. (Kudos to Mr. Nolte for the goofy, "I'm OK" grin!) Decent plot, good work from good actors, good suspense, and a solid performance from the eel. I enjoyed it, and it's a great popcorn film. No message, (well, unless you count 'Don't put your head in an eels mouth!'), just treasure, action, good guys, bad guys, and a pretty girl.

Thir13en Ghosts (2001)

People who live in glass houses...

[27 May 2002]

OK, first things first. If you are going to review a movie on this site, how about we make it a rule that you know what you're talking about. Some one referred to this as a 'remake of a Roger Corman film", try William Castle. Another reviewer said, 'it look like a remake of a 60's cheesy horror film', well, DUH!, it is!

OK, now that I've gotten that off my chest, The movie was pretty good, Shaloub was excellent, as usual, Shannon was pretty, as usual, (remember, she started as a model, models don't win Oscars!), my one objection was the nanny. This big a display of tokenism in this day and age? C'mon, guys! Lillard was actually pretty good in this, better than anything I've seen him in thus far.

The ghosts were great, (yes, I AM a guy, so I was digging the "Angry Princess"!), the house was cool, (OK, how many people would like to live there?), F. Murray was top notch.

Like a lot of films these days, more attention was paid to style over substance, but still, a reasonably good scare. 3 out of 5.

As I usually have to point out, don't see a movie like this expecting Shakespeare, and you won't be disappointed.

Dude, Where's My Car? (2000)

and then? and then? and then?

[12 July 2001]

I will never understand why some people will go to see Godzilla, Independence Day, or Dude! Where's my car? expecting Shakespeare! Please! Anyone who goes to see a movie called "Dude! Where's my car?" and then complains about how stupid it is, deserves to have wasted their $8.50 and 90 minutes. I, too thought it was moronic, but I knew that going in! I also laughed out loud several times. I object to stupid movies that are not supposed to be stupid, (Congo!), but I found this to be, for want of a better term, 'Enjoyably stupid!' Weird characters, a few directors' quirks, and good acting. 3 out of 5!

O Brother, Where Art Thou? (2000)

Well, I'm with you fellers!

[22 March 2001]

I wouldn't have thought it possible, but these performances manage to be both delightfully subtle and wildly over the top. I really enjoyed this film! This is one of those movies that will leave everyone with a favorite line, mine is "Well, isn't this place a geographical oddity? Two weeks from everywhere!"

Oh, and Delmar steals this movie.

Days of Thunder (1990)

Doesn't live up to the sum of it's parts.

[20 March 2001]

OK, if you know absolutely nothing about racing, it's just 'Topgun' with cars. Not bad, in fact, a tolerable action movie. Cruise isn't bad, and Duvall is always a delight. Michael Rooker is excellent, and the rest of the ensemble turns in solid performances. (Note exception below.) Ah, but then we get to the writing. If you possess even the slightest bit of racing knowledge, it's an offense. While there is some bumping and banging going on on most racetracks, no one states that it's their intention to put anyone into the wall at Daytona. Plus, sorry, but Nicole Kidman can't act. Let me rephrase, she COULD'NT act. She has improved by 1000%, see her in 'Malice' for a standout performance. But here? NO, I don't think so.

Congo (1995)

You have got to be kidding!!

[12 February 2001]

I enjoy movies. I even enjoy the occasional bad movie, I can usually find something redeeming even in the worst films. Ah, but in Congo I met my match. Plot holes you could drive a train through, and that stupid gorilla! Having a cigar and a martini in the plane! They had Bruce Campbell, so they could have made a credible comedy, but they killed him off in the first 5 minutes. This is my standard by which all bad movies must be measured. As in, "Sure it was a little silly, but it was no Congo!"