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Reviews
Zone blanche (2017)
Awful nonsense
Well, after countless hours of watching this trash, it wasnt worth it.
Spoilers below, so if you're a sadist and still intend to watch the series, skip past this review.
Set in a small town in the middle of nowhere surrounded by forests, you have no idea where anything is situated because everything is left vague. There's a timber mill, a quarry, the inside of a police station, a police cell, a road outside the police station, a hotel with a hole in the wall, a bar, a handful of houses, river rapids, a cave, an old indoor swimming pool and nothing but forests. Nothing is memorable.
All 4 of the police officers are inept, the commander and main protagonist reminds me of Carrie in Home Land, she is an annoying mess with an out of control daughter.
Every few apisodes there are a few moments where this thing appears in the forest as a silhouette in the background with antlers and we hear the Predator clicking sound.... and this thing or person has been kidnapping people for the past 20 years, the police commander was one of them.
The commander gets shot in the stomach 3 times by a crooked police officer and left for dead in the forest but the thing in the forest drags her away and manages to heal all her bullet wounds by covering her in a load of moss... The end of the first series ends with her waking up covered in the moss, when those wounds should have killed her...
She manages to walk all the way back to the town and the second series starts with her talking to a doctor 2 months later saying its a miracle she survived and the plant extract running through her body magically healed all the bullet wounds but she should still take it easy....
I mean this is Nobel prize winning medical magic here but not one person thinks it might be useful to take samples of her blood or try to figure out what plant in the forest can heal multiple bullet wounds after a few hours, just ridiculous.
Well.... It turns out in the last episode of the second series that the thing in the forest is just some nutter related to the police commander, a biological brother, that went missing at the same time the commander originally did, despite him living nowhere near the area and the commander didn't even know he existed, there was a 50% match on his and her DNA being identical after someone managed to shoot him point blank in the head with a shotgun and i guess they took blood samples. The thing survived obviously because it makes no sense.
It doesn't explain why the series had maybe 6 different flashbacks to 10BC when this same thing was hunting Romans in the forest, hence why the Romans never built roads in that area, again, it makes no sense whatsoever.
It doesn't explain how this guy pretending to be this forest god was able to drag people through forests with invisible ropes, Lost Smokey Monster-style or how he could just pull multiple different people up to the top of trees without being seen, affecting a large area. Eurghh, its just a guy covered in tree bark with antlers cello taped to the top of his head, he's not magic and he doesn't have super powers.
So that was the big mystery over and done with, the only other thing was some eco warriors that went and destroyed a load of quarry machinery with enough remote explosives to blow up a small country. It never explains how a load of kids could get their hands on this stuff, their prior training, nothing, and why it's run by a woman that works begind a bar.
Despite all the explosives being rigged with mobile phones, the whole area has constant interference (something else that is never explained or touched on) so despite making these ridiculous explosives capable of remote detonation, they have to set manual 5 minute timers. What was the point of the mobile phones of they knew they wouldn't work anyway?
They blow everything up, it cuts to a few different outside areas from different houses where the huge explosion can be seen. The commander is asleep in a car and the credits start rolling.
The exact words that came out of my mouth at the time were "wtf, is that it!?" what a load of garbage.
I've had fevered dreams that made more sense and we're more enjoyable than this series.
The highlight of the series was the guinea-pig that one of the police officers has.
Away (2020)
Wow this is boring crap
I don't even know where to start with this, if it wasn't for the music it's like watching a day on the life of an astronaut, but with zero action.
It ticks all the boxes as far as Netflix are concerned though, token black guy that happens to be gay, Japanese lesbian, stereotypical drunk Russian cosmonaut, guy in a wheel chair following a stroke, a young girl with downsyndrome, i don't even know what to expect next and I'm only on epsiode 6.
Nothing engaging happens, none of the characters are likeable, it's probably worst thing I've ever watched.
Aerials (2016)
Hands down, the worst film ive ever seen.
Appalling, just awful. Wooden actors, main two characters in it just sit around their house having nothing conversions with eachother. The only sign of aliens are shadowy blurs stood in a doorway behind characters in the house. 1 hour and 10 mins in the wooden actors on the news declare the aliens have gone home. They sit around and talk nonsense a bit longer then some random woman comes in the house telling them its not over. Almost an hour and half of my life that I'll never get back. Why is this trash being advertised so heavily on Netflix? What am i even paying for?
Grey Skies (2010)
oh my word, what a truly awful film
Wow this is an awful film, I should congratulate the four or so other people that have also witnessed this abomination. I honestly cant believe this garbage had a budget of $1.5 million, seriously, should that be 1.5 million rupees? Did they spend all the budget on real cocaine that features in one or two scenes in the film? At a push this film could be made with 20k. Special effects consist of bright lights, an impact crash and shooting stars, honestly thats pretty much it... No spaceship as indicated on the misleading poster. For the first hour nothing happens, I guess its meant to be plot building or character developing but none of it makes sense. None of the characters are likable, they are all wooden and their dialogue is garbage. Its just an hour and 24 minutes of noise.. the director of this needs to go sit in a corner and have a word with himself. I wont go over the same stuff as other reviewers have, there are just so many parts that don't make any sense. One minute the cast are locking all doors and windows to keep the aliens out, the next minute they're beaming straight into the leaving room, the next the aliens are stuck outside, knocking on doors as if they are completely incapable of getting in there.... Seriously, why is there such a lack of consistency? Do yourself a favour, if you ever see this DVD, smash it, smash it with a hammer then put it in a pan and melt it down. I've had more enjoyment accidentally formatting a hard drive or picking super glue off of my hands. You've been warned lol
Stay Alive (2006)
Much more enjoyable than Doom and most films out at the moment
I have just watched this film and i did think it was very good. I really don't agree with the other post that slags it off claiming it to have had a $20 budget, it makes me sick when people like this guy don't appreciate decent enough films. If you want to see a $h1t film then go find "Man-Thing", i watched that about 3 hours ago and that is god awful, supposedly having the same budget as Punisher which wasn't a bad film, but Man Thing is a terrible film.
I did enjoy watching Stay Alive, I have always been a big fan of scary games such as Fatal Frame and i found the in game cgi very impressive. It just gets under my skin when people slag off half decent films when there are god awful ones out there like Doom, based on the world renowned best seller, Doom could have been so much better but they threw that together, i don't agree with the comment about this film being thrown together.
I've said my piece, just don't be too quick to criticise films because there are some truly awful films out at the moment and putting down half decent ones just puts of producers from making other.
Cheers Billy
Chockablock (1981)
Chock-A-Block (BBC1 1981-89)
It has taken me over 15 years to find out what this children's TV show was called. I was so young that the only bits i could remember was a woman driving onto the set in a car and that there was a huge yellow computer involved.
As sad as it is, id always thought to myself that i would never find out what the show was called with it being so old and i would go through life feeling incomplete, happy cant sum up how i feel now :)
I stumbled across the description of what i could remember on the following website: HTTP://www.tvradiobits.co.uk/eightieszone/eighties1 .HTM
I couldn't believe it! I have also found the opening music theme for the show at: HTTP://www.the chestnut.com/chockablock .htm (there are no spaces in the above URLs, IMDb prevented me from typing them in properly)
Hopefully the following keywords will direct other people that have had trouble finding the name of this show to this page:
"woman in a car" "kids show" computer.
I'm going to see if i can find a video of the opening titles, or even better, one of the full shows : )
Shaun.