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Road House (2024)
Didn't know what it wanted to be...
I wanted to like this movie even though most modern day remakes are just straight up bad.
There were things that I liked about the it but honestly the writing was awful (no surprise there). Other than Dalton (the main character) there really wasn't any character development and many of the other supporting characters didn't even need to be there. Other characters were just down right unlikable. The father and daughter at the book store being a good example. The story would be no different if they weren't in the movie. Frankie (the owner of the Road House) was also not a likable character at all. She lies to Dalton about why he's there and is like, "yeah I lied to you but it's not a big deal. Don't be mad." Lastly, the bad sheriff is such a confusing character. The first time we meet him he threatens to kill Dalton and then at the end he lets him go and says, "I got your back." It doesn't make any sense.
Exposition was also a problem too which goes back to the writing. Anytime someone is wondering why something is going on the answer is basically just, "oh it is what it is because that's just the way things are here." Ok I guess... I'll just accept things for what they are without any real explanation.
The original was much better in almost every way. Dalton was a complex character and his reason for staying to help the Double Deuce (and the town for that matter) made a lot more sense. The stakes were higher and there were a lot more characters that the audience actually cared about.
I was also disappointed in the choreography, and special effects. Seemed very jumpy and unrealistic which took me out of the experience. The abrupt ending was also disappointing. Dalton doesn't get the girl, the glory, or the money. He just leaves and that's it. No happy ending.
I think that this movie could have been a good movie but just like most modern remakes it suffers from bad writing and not knowing what kind of movie it wants to be.
Teen Wolf: The Movie (2023)
Dead on Arrival
First of all, read the 9 and 10 star reviews. It's painfully obvious that these reviews were bought and paid for. They're actually quite hilarious lol.
Now for the movie... I was a fan of the show (the first 3 seasons at least, the latter 3 got continuously worse). It's a guilty pleasure of mine. I was kind of excited when I heard about the movie but wondered what they were going to do for a plot. Well... they took the cheap and easy route and rehashed an old plot line that was 100% resolved.
From what I read, the script was being written as the movie was being filmed. It makes sense because the movie was bad through and through. The plot was lazy, the acting was lackluster, the characters that we loved from the show did not get the treatment or resolution that they deserved, and the special effects were god awful.
I wanted to like this movie. I wanted it to be good. But it was not. Not at all. If you were a fan of the show don't bother watching the movie. You will be disappointed.
Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery (2022)
Not what you expected
The first movie was fantastic. I thought that this one would be similar but I honestly feel dumber for watching it. I felt like there would be some clever twist at the end but the big "reveal" was exactly what you thought it was. The movie holds your interest the entire time because you think there is going to be a huge twist of an ending and that's not what happens at all. The creators of this film tried so hard to be clever that it ends up not being clever at all.
This could have been a great movie but it ended in the most underwhelming way. I'm somewhat upset that I lost 2 hours of my life watching this. It's also dumb how they made Daniel Craig's character gay for no reason at all. It has no relevance to the plot but it's Netflix so what do you expect?
Bottom line: waste of time. Don't bother watching because you will be disappointed,
Me Time (2022)
Just really confused...
I like Mark Wahlberg and Kevin Hart is okay (he once again plays the same role he plays in every movie). But at worst I though this movie would be a fun watch. It was not. The movie was chopped up in a way that did not flow at all and the ending was super sudden. The resolution of each character's arc made no sense and then it was just over.
In all honesty the most entertaining character was Andrew Santino. They also could have done more with Jimmy Yang.
At this point I don't know what I should have expect from another Netflix movie. Everything Netflix puts out is absolute garbage these days.
Day Shift (2022)
Mid but not awful
I'm pretty sure someone just said "let's try to make John Wick but with Vampires. Try to make it funny too." And that's pretty much how this movie was made.
Plot was predictable. The vampires were unoriginal. Acting was so-so. But it was enjoyable. Didn't hate it but it wasn't anything worth writing home about.
Not Okay (2022)
Who green lights these movies?
When I watch stuff like this I genuinely think to myself, "what kind of out of touch tool bag green lights these movies?"
Then that raises the question, "who writes these awful screen plays?"
You can tell it was written and produced by a group of out of touch 40 year olds that think they are still young lol.
I made it half way through which is a lot longer than I thought I would. I just couldn't bring my self to carry on any further. The whole movie is just one big virtue signal. We're tired of this woke crap that gets propped up by these kind of movies. And they're always BAD. The movie was bad. The dialogue was bad. The premise was bad. Bad. Bad. Bad.
Unhinged (2020)
I hate this movie
I audibly said, "I hate this movie," at least a dozen times while watching it. The writers of this movie do not live in the real world and they're obviously getting their source material from the internet (which we all know is 100% real) based on the videos in the open credits.
The story generally is awful and not believable in the least bit. The choices of the protagonist are dumb (once again, AWESOME writing). She also isn't a very likable person to begin with so it's hard to empathize with her.
The action scenes are outlandish and unbelievable. I'm aware that you have to suspend disbelief to a certain degree when watching any movie, but they were clearly going for a "realistic" scenario when they wrote this so it's hard to actually take this movie seriously when those two points seem to be conflicting.
Final verdict: fire the writers and don't make dumb movies. Waste of 90 minutes.
Fairview (2022)
Please stop
The visuals are lazy. The concept is generally dumb. The characters are not likable whatsoever. But most of all, we are tired of the lazy writing. This woke BS needs to stop. Put a LITTLE effort into your shows.
It's ironic how unfunny Comedy Central has become over the last few years. South Park is all they have left and even they are hit and miss lately.
This Is the Night (2021)
Awful everything
First I just want to say that I've read all the 10 star reviews and they are 100% paid for. No real person gave this film 10/10 stars.
As for the movie itself... HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
I honestly don't know who read this script and said, "this sounds like it's going to be an excellent film. Let's make it." Fire that person immediately lol.
The movie makes Italians look like senseless monkeys that idolize a fictional character to the point of irrationality. It's hilarious and absurd at the same time.
And then there's the whole sub plot about the cross dressing brother. Why? I just don't understand why that was even part of this movie or how it relates to the plot at all. Most likely a woke writer that shoehorned it into the film for the sake of "progress." Hilarious nonetheless.
Truth be told I loved this movie. It was like a dumpster fire that I could not look away from. This was the best worst movie I've watched in a while. That being said, everyone involved needs to be fired lol.
Cowboy Bebop (2021)
I think 3 stars is even too generous...
But that's what I'll go with. First of all the casting was way off. Not only do none of the characters look like their cartoon counterparts, they don't act like them either. Faye swears WAY too much for no reason, Vicious is way more anxious than he should be, and the villains of the first few episodes missed the mark by light years.
I have to bring it back to Faye's character because she bugs me the most. The girl playing her didn't try to look or act like the character at all and it's probably the most annoying part. I doubt she even watch the original show if I'm just being honest.
The writers also butchered the story and the dynamic of the team. The chemistry between Spike and Jet works but it's still noticeably different than the source material.
I honestly tried to go into this with an open mind but Netflix ALWAYS disappoints when it comes to live action adaptations. The set pieces were pretty cool but that's about the only interesting thing about the show.
Oh, and the people that gave this show 10 stars either didn't watch the original series or they are paid shills because there is no way this is a perfect show by any stretch of the imagination.
Da 5 Bloods (2020)
A Poorly Rolled "Joint"
Anybody that gave this film more than 5 stars is either being paid to do so, or only rated it that high because of the director. A 92% critic rating? Give me a break.
I really don't like Spike Lee, but I had high hopes for this movie. I am a big fan of Vietnam era movies and even though I knew the "white man racist, Donald Trump bad" themes would be pushed, I tried to be open minded, but this movie just was not good.
You have a group of great actors with really bad acting (I was extremely disappointed with Chadwick Boseman's performance). A treasure hunting plot that has been done successfully dozens of times before absolutely falls apart here. An unbelievably predictable story. Poorly written characters (Paul & Otis seem to be the only one with story arks, everyone else is just there for the ride) and a bizarre soundtrack.
The flashbacks where all of the characters are the same actors that play their older selves also seemed really lazy too. A grueling 2.5 hour run time also made the movie feel like a chore to watch instead of something enjoyable. Lastly, the preachiness that I mentioned before became the punchline to the film but I suppose that is what Lee was going for anyways.
The reason I gave this film 3 stars is because there were times when I felt that the film COULD redeem itself, but never did. I like that it touched on PTSD and mental illness, as well as inequality and civil rights, but that was it. Just a touch. No resolution. No answers. Just a quick nod.
Bottom Line: the film had potential to be a good story while also addressing important social issues, but ultimately fell flat on almost all fronts. Felt like I was watching a movie that was thrown together by an amateur director.