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Magic Man (2010)
1/10
Unfortunately, what has been seen cannot be unseen
21 May 2011
We signed up for an IMDb account just so that we could malign this wretched movie. Terrible doesn't even begin to describe it: abysmal comes much closer! We must apologize to our DVD player for inflicting this upon it, and possibly need an exorcism on our television. No, we're not exaggerating, it really was that bad and we don't want it to infest our other viewing choices! Billy Zane should be violated by hordes of angry cannibals for agreeing to act in this movie. There are STDs more pleasant than this movie. Paying the rent cannot be as important as professional pride. This movie was akin to audio/visual gonorrhea. Now, it burns when I stare.

Now, we are aware that some people trash movies in hyperbolic fashion just for fun. This is not the case. This was every bit as awful as we have portrayed. The acting was outright horrible. Estelle Raskin & Alexander Nevsky had 2 of the main 3 roles (Zane had #3). When 66.6% of your movie couldn't act hurt if shot with live ammo, you are basically skiing uphill. Zane must have gazed upon the acting putrescence across from himself, uttered "F#$% it, it's a paycheck!" & fetched the strongest drink available on set, remaining internally pickled until well after post-production.

Honestly, the only pleasure we got from watching this was giving it the "MST3K" treatment. For instance, we are convinced Raskin is the abandoned love-child of William Shatner & Leo Tolstoy's corpse. Problem is, Shatner has charisma, ergo is entertaining. Raskin obviously got her monotone "charisma" from the corpse.
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