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jagbloke
Reviews
Xtro (1982)
Truly awful
Warning: Spoiler alerts.
This is one of the films that came out when I was a kid, in the age of the video nasty. Over the years I got round to seeing most of these, The Burning, Curtains etc and, of course The Evil Dead, but for some reason this one always eluded me. Anyway, I read an article recently that brought this back to my mind so I sought it out. I'm really sorry I bothered.
The story centres around a guy that, for reasons that are not made clear, is randomly abducted by aliens in front of his son. He returns in alien form 3 years later (and, by the way, the son doesn't appear to have aged at all during this time) and goes about killing his way through everyone he comes across and impregnates a woman in a remote cottage who then gives birth to him, back in his original human. With me so far?
Anyway, he turns up back at the family home and well, it goes from bad to worse with, amongst other things, a circus midget, a murderous Action Man and Maryam D'Abo in a cocoon laying eggs into a bath. Honestly.
By the end, he buggers off back to space taking his bratty little kid with him and, well, that's that. Until the boy's mother goes back to the apartment and finds the bath full of alien eggs, one of which hatches, with the progeny instantly attacking her. The end, mercifully.
King Ralph (1991)
Culturally Offensive
I expected to see the now familiar "this film contains outdated concepts that some people may find offensive" description on Sky however for some reason, it didn't appear.
This film contains all of the stereotypical American views of Britain and I found it culturally offensive.
What surprised me most is that the cast, some of whom are British icons, were happy to take part in this mess. I only gave it 2 stars because of the cast. The rest is awful.
Also, it isn't funny.
Willy's Wonderland (2021)
Awful
Literally the worst film I've ever seen.
Ridiculous plot, horrible acting and stupid, stupid characters. I can't even begin to explain how stupidly bad this film is.