Shivster Reviews

Out for Blood (2004 Video)

Sucks

[6 August 2004]

Easily the worst vampire-flick I've ever seen. Hammy-acting, a plot that just had to be written by an 8-year old -> or better yet -> his imaginary friend. They throw in tons of cliché-filled drivel that makes me think that the "decent vampire flick" genre is now a thing of the past.

Don't even get me started about blood-stains that mysteriously vanish (I wanted to poke myself with a pencil through my eyes during the final scene!)

What were they thinking when they made this? Even porno has more congruent story lines!!!

Sci-Fi!!! What has become of you lately?

Family Guy (1999– )

What else can I say ? The best show ... ever !!!

[23 April 2003]

Let me set the record straight for the ignorant ones out there. The show's premise resembles the Simpsons. The comparison ends there. Fini. Period. Nobody's going to give you a prize for making that "astute" observation ! And while you're sitting around with your "knee-jerk" opinions , you're not going to give this show a chance. Smart , intelligent satire vs. stupid sight (Doh!) gags. Why can't people tell the difference?

I grew up with the Simpsons. I loved them , when they were good. Unlike the rest of the degenerates, I moved on to something I know is way better.

Ask yourself why FG has "such" a fan following with just 3 seasons in its belt? Do you think we were born yesterday and didn't ever catch the Simpsons in its prime ? Get with the program , people ! There is "such" as thing as intelligent comedy !!

Aren't we mature enough to enjoy comedy that has less "pie in the face" and instead makes you connect two absurd pop-culture references and get a "gag" that is so hilarious you'll be telling everyone else you know the joke for days on end? I know I did. Are we still stuck up in a "3-stooges" era ? I'd rather live to see Peter Griffin dress up as an amateur Ghostbuster crashing into that mushy pottery sequence from Ghost and letting loose his proton-pack. Kudos to MacFarlane for taking risks and pushing the envelope as far as it can possibly go. Please come back , Family Guy. We miss you !!!

Gerhard Reinke's Wanderlust (2003– )

Disturbing !!!

[11 April 2003]

This show gets to you on many levels ... and every one of them is gut-busting funny !!! It outclasses Insomniac with just a few episodes under its belt !!

For those of you who are tired of the way-past-its-prime SNL , spend your 11:30-12 a whole lot more usefully with Wanderlust ... this sicko is sure to have you laughing in splits !!!

The Pitts (2003)

Hilarious ... even when it shouldn't be.

[30 March 2003]

After that awful family-sitcom-clone Oliver Beene, I wasn't expecting too much from another over-hyped Fox TV show. With the cheesy opening credits and theme, I was about to give the premier a pass but I'm glad I stayed through it.

The whole show reminded me of the Addams Family and probably the Munsters. I'm not sure if that's what the creators had in mind but it works ... in a weird kind of way.

The humor is darker, more irreverent and repulsively funny even when the plot-line seems to waddle along a path that is horribly clichéd !!

It really shouldn't work , the show should be dismissed as something puerile but I just couldn't stop laughing till the very end.

I still can't figure out why.

Who knows ... it just might be a welcome addition to the dysfunctional-family sitcom clones !

Oliver Beene (2003–2004)

The "Wonder why Fox keeps getting worse" years.

[10 March 2003]

Was there really a point behind this pathetic rip-off ?

Sure , if you're going to make a voice-over based retro-comedy about a dysfunctional family , you'd atleast "TRY" to do something new , Wouldn't you ? For pete's sake ... Look at "Family guy". That beats the tar out of the simpsons because its always fresh and Fox , in its infinite wisdom pulled the plug on that show. Go figure ! The first episode that aired yesterday on Fox paled in comparison to Malcolm in the middle , which had a talented cast and some good writing behind it.

Like the 80s show which vanished (much like most of the drivel on fox these days) without a trace, I don't expect to see this show last more than a season.

Brotherhood of the Wolf (2001)

What were they thinking ?

[4/10 · 8 October 2002]

*POSSIBLE SPOILERS*

A mutated period drama with armor-plated dire-wolves and kick-boxing/savate-exponent frenchmen procreating with gay abandon across the French countryside.

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Over the years , I've run Dungeons & Dragons campaigns that were less surreal than a travesty like this. Seemed a lot similar to Burton's Sleepy Hollow though this lacked both its finesse and the congruous plot-twists which seemed SO less out-of-place.

I'd give it a 5 on 5 for the camera-work which is indeed breathtaking.

Mark Dacascos is a very talented action-hero and he did make for some very impressive (though needless) fight scenes.

It dragged towards the end and I really wonder what the critics are raving about. Making a hodge-podge of atleast 10 different film-genres is abject insanity !! It must have taken a very sick/inebriated mind to come up with this drivel.

Spider-Man (2002)

A great movie that turned horribly wrong !

[7/10 · 10 May 2002]

Out-of-place sappy dialogue spoils many a movie and this truly becomes the achilles heel of what would have been a really nice adrenalin-rushing (right from the first web-swing! :)) comic-adaptation.

Sure you can't make a movie exclusively for the purists out there ...

Let me put it this way , if you thought the ending in the Matrix with Carrie Ann Moss was cheesy and that "wake-up, neo!" kiss totally uncalled for, you're going to nit-pick this movie as much as I did.

Mutant X (2001–2004)

A mutated travesty.

[3 April 2002]

I won't reinforce the rant that this is an X-Men rip-off. I can live with that ,but what really got me peeved about this show has been a repeatedly dismal effort by the cast to emote and provide more depth to their roles. Where this "pretty-faced ensemble" fails (unlike others like Smallville which succeed) is keeping the intended audience engaged. The plots need a makeover and the mutants ought to increase the gamut of their facial expressions beyond "smiling smugly" (which grows increasingly annoying !!!)

Two thumbs down!

Greg the Bunny (2002–2004)

Promising Muppet-Show come-back!

[28 March 2002]

Kermit & Co. were a little less irreverent , but in this Shrek-loving society, GtB uses a formula that ought to work. The last 5 minutes were hilarious! Sure , you can't judge a series by its pilot/first-episode, but I'd like to see how this turns out !